It is said that the greatest love in the world is maternal love. However, in my life, the person who is the most heartless to me, that is, the person who hurt me the most, is my mother.
If it had not been for my faith in Jesus and God's teaching of respecting my parents, I think I would never want to meet my parents ever again. If I had not believed the word of Jesus, I would never even talk to my father and mother, who gave me birth and raised me.
Because of God's love, I can still love my parents. I still call them often and send them money every month. All the years I have been a believer in Jesus, and I have been active in preaching the Gospel to them whenever I can.
I was born in a rural family in Deng County, Nanyang, Henan Province, on August 23, 1984. There are four siblings in my family. My older sister is two years older than me. My older brother and I are twins, and there is a younger brother.
When I was little, I often heard my mother say that before I was born, she said that if I was born a girl, she would abandon me. To my mother's surprise, not long after I was born that day, my twin brother was also born. The elderly in the village exhorted my mother that twins had better not be separated. They said that if one was taken away, the other would not live long, so I was kept.
I still remember vividly that when I was very young, I once heard my mother tell my father that she would go to my aunt's home in Nanyang Oilfield next month. At that time, I had never been to my aunt's house. My mother agreed to take me there. But in the end, my mother did not let me go, while she traveled with my twin brother.
I am six years older than my little brother. After my mother gave birth to my little brother, I was the one who often took care of him, and my mother seldom cared for him.
Later, when my twin brother and I were old enough to go to school, my mother only let my twin brother go to school, and commanded me to help take care of my younger brother at home. My father saw that I cried every day and wanted to go to school, so he talked with my mother. Later, my mother agreed, but she didn't buy me any books. Instead, she let me sit next to my twin brother and let me read the same set of books with him.
Once, my father told my mother that I had been wearing the same pair of pants every day without changing them, and asked her to go out and buy me a pair of new pants. But later, my mom only bought a pair of new pants for my sister. My father was very angry. In the end, my father paid a female neighbor of ours to take me shopping to buy a pair of pants.
I remember that when I was in school, in order to make my mother happy, I would skip lunch and save the money for food. Then I would give it to my mother. She would laugh and take the money happily. To my disappointment, she never cared much about me skipping my lunches.
At the beginning of the second grade of junior school, my father gave me money to pay my tuition, but my mother refused to let me go to school. She sent me to work in a woolen yarn factory in Hebei with girls from our neighborhood who also stopped going to school. After working for half a year, I came back home during the Spring Festival. I gave them all the money I had saved by living a simple life. My uncle was a retired eye doctor, and at that time he wanted to start an eye clinic. So my mother told me to work for my uncle to learn some skills.
Starting around August 2001, I was only paid 100 yuan per month, and 300 yuan per month in the following year. I gave it all to my mother except for buying a few clothes for myself. What annoyed me the most was that at the start of the third year, my uncle said to me that he would give me a salary of 500 yuan every month, but my mother had taken away my whole year’s salary in advance.
But during that period of time, I learned all the skills that a hospital nurse can do. I would clean all three floors of the clinic every day, and I learned how to administer injections and prepare for patients before surgery skilfully. I could even sterilize surgical instruments with a pressure cooker, and do optometry. In the second and third years of working for my uncle, I did most of this work by myself. After working for my uncle for three years, my uncle fell ill. He had lung cancer. Then his eye clinic was also closed, and I immediately went to the railway station to buy a train ticket from Nanyang to Zhengzhou.
I stayed in Zhengzhou for a year and tried several jobs. I barely survived and sometimes I couldn't even get enough to eat. So I bought a train ticket to Beijing. The next day I found a job of washing dishes in a restaurant for 600 yuan a month. Then I got a job in sales. About two or three months later, when I earned my first paycheque of 5,500 yuan, I felt so excited that I called my parents to share my happiness. The next day, my twin brother called and asked me for a loan. He asked for exactly $5,500, and I refuse to lend it to him. In the end, I listened to my father and sent all the money to my brother. But my brother still hasn't paid me back. Later, I went home again. When I was about to leave, I gave them all the money they owe others before I left.
On the day I left, my mother rode with me to the county and found a bank ATM. I withdrew more than five thousand yuan for my mother. My mother took the money from my hands and carefully counted it. After counting the money, she put the money in her pocket and said, "I'm leaving." Then, she turned around and walked away. I didn't even have money for food except for a return train ticket.
After working in Beijing for more than a year, I bought a car and sold it for more than 20,000 yuan. I thought I didn't need the money at that time, so I gave all the money to my mother. Later, because I wanted to buy a house, I called my mother and asked her to transfer it to me so that I could use it, and promised that I would send the money to her after I got paid. My mother said on the phone at that time, "Consider this sum of money as your thanks that we raised you. We should never contact again. Bye."
Throughout the years I have believed in Jesus, God has been healing and repairing the wounds in my heart. Thanks to God's love, I am now able to forgive my parents for the harm they have done to me so that I no longer hate my parents.
I went back to visit my parents in May this year. This time, when I saw my parents are already very old, I no longer care about what they had done to me. Before I left home, in addition to leaving them thousands of yuan, I bought new appliances so as to replace their old ones which were bought more than ten years ago.
I thank God for having had mercy on my parents so that on June 6 of this year they truly repented and were baptized. I've been preaching to my parents for years, and my parents are finally willing to believe in Jesus. But they went many years without being baptized. Thanks to His grace, God moved my pastor and fellow workers who were from Nanyang Nanzhao, my hometown. They drove more than 140 kilometers to reach my home and preach to my parents for two days, and led my parents to do repentance prayer, then baptized them to the Lord. Praise the Lord! God granted my wish.
(The author of this article, is the instructor of the Smart Parents Camp and the founder of the Home-School Smart Parents Camp.)
- Translated by Nicolas Cao
人们都说，这个世界上最伟大的爱是母爱！可是，在我的生命中，对我最无情的人、伤害我最深的人就是我的母亲。
若不是因为我信耶稣，神教导我要孝顺父母，我想我早已是一个没有父母的人了。 若不是信耶稣的话，我早已和生我养我的父母断绝一切来往。
因着神的爱，我现在还能够爱我的父母，我还会经常打电话问候他们，还可以每个月打钱给他们。我信耶稣的这些年，只要有机会我就积极地传福音给他们。
1984年农历8月23日，我出生在河南南阳邓县的一个农村家庭，我们家兄弟姐妹四个。我姐姐比我大两岁，我和大弟弟是双胞胎，下面还有一个小弟。
小时候我常听我妈说，我还没有出生的时候，她就说如果生出来是个女孩的话，就把我送人。
让我妈没想到的是，那天我出生没多久，我弟弟老三也出生了，村里的老年人就劝勉我妈说，双胞胎最好不要分开，如果一个被抱走了，另一个也活不长久，就这样，我就被留下来了，没有送人。
印象最深的是：在我还很小的时候，有一次我听到我妈跟我爹说，下个月她要去南阳油田我大姨家。那时候，我还从来没有去过我大姨家。我妈就同意带上我，可是，第二天，我妈却不让我去，她带着我弟弟出门了。
我比我小弟大六岁，我妈生了我小弟后，整天都不管，经常把他留给我让我照顾。
后来，我和我大弟弟到了上学的年龄，我妈只让我大弟弟去上学，不让我上学，让我在家帮助照看小弟。我爹看我哭着想上学，就劝我妈。后来，我妈同意让我去上学，但是她不给我买书，只让我坐到我弟弟边上，让我和我弟弟一起看一套书。
还有一次，我爹对我妈说，我整天就身上穿着这一条裤子，都没有一条换洗的，让她上街给我买条裤子。结果，我妈买回来一条裤子是给我姐的。我爹听了很生气。后来，我爹委托一个女邻居上街的时候带着我买了条裤子。
记得我上学的时候，为了让我妈高兴，我就中午不吃饭，把饭钱攒几天，见到我妈的时候就都给她，那时她就笑哈哈地把钱装起来。让我失望的是，她一直没有问过我为什么不吃饭。
初中二年级刚开学，我爹给我钱让我交学费，可是我妈不让我上学了。她让我和附近的不上学的女孩子一起去河北一个线厂干活。干了半年工，过年回到家，我把自己在外面省吃俭用攒下来的钱全部上交给她。 我大舅是退休眼科医生，后来他要开一个眼科卫生室，我妈就不让我去外面打工了，说是让我跟着我大舅学个技术。
2001年8月份左右开始，每个月只给我100块钱工资，第二年每个月给我300块钱工资。我除了给自己买几件衣服之外，把这些钱都给我妈了。 让我生气的是：第三年刚开年，我大舅对我说，今年是我干的第三年了，每个月可以给我五百块钱工资，不过我妈已经把我一年的工资提前拿走了。
但是在我大舅那里，医院护士会的，我全会。三层楼的卫生，给病人扎针输液、病人做手术前的准备、术后处理，手术器械高压锅打包消毒、验光配镜我全会。第二年第三年这些活几乎都是我一个人干。差不多三年整的时候，我大舅生病了，医院检查是肺癌。他的眼科卫生室也关门了，我就去火车站买了当天从南阳去郑州的火车票。
我在郑州呆了一年，干了几份工作，只能勉强生存，有时候甚至连饭都吃不饱。就这样我又买了去北京的火车票。第二天找到了一份在饭店刷碗的工作，一个月600元工资。后来找到了一份销售工作。大概两三个月后，当我挣到第一个5500块钱的时候，我感觉特别兴奋，就打电话给我父母分享我的快乐。第二天我的双胞胎弟弟就打电话来朝我借钱。他正好不多不少就要借5500块钱，我不借给他。最后我还是听我爹的，把钱全部打给我弟弟。但我弟弟到现在也没有还我。后来，我又回了一趟家。快离开家的时候，走之前把他们欠别人的钱都给他们。
我走那天，我妈跟我一起坐车去到县城，找到一个银行自助取款机，我取了五千多块钱给我妈。我妈从我手里接过钱认真地数了数，数完钱她把钱往身上一装就说了一句：“那我走了。”然后，转身就走了。我除了给自己留下一张回程火车票的钱，甚至连自己吃饭的钱都没留下。
到北京工作一年多以后，我买了一辆车，后来卖了两万多块钱，我想自己也用不着这些钱，就把钱全部打给我妈了。 后来因为要买一套小产权房子，我就打电话给我妈，让她转给我让我先用用，等我发工资以后再把钱打给她。我妈当时在电话里说：“这两万多块钱，全当你报答我们的养育之恩了，从此不再联系，就这样。”
我信耶稣的这些年，神也在不断地医治和修复我。感谢神的爱，帮助我现在能够饶恕我父母对我的伤害，使我不再怨恨我的父母。
今年5月份我回老家看望我的父母。这次回老家当看到父母都老了，我不再计较他们对我的过往。离开家之前，我除了留给他们几千块钱外，我把他们十几年前的家电都换成新的了。
感谢神怜悯我的父母，使他们在今年的6月6号真正地悔改、受洗归入主的名下，成为神的儿女。我给父母传福音很多年了，我父母也愿意信耶稣，这么多年一直没有受洗。这次我回老家，感谢神的恩典，神感动我老家南阳南召的牧师和同工们开车140多公里去我家，远来给我父母讲了两天道，又带领我父母做了认罪悔改的祷告，之后给他们施洗归主。赞美主！神成就了我的心愿 。
（本文作者路云姐妹为“智慧父母训练营”讲师，家校共育智慧父母训练营发起人。）
见证：神更新了我和父母的关系
It is said that the greatest love in the world is maternal love. However, in my life, the person who is the most heartless to me, that is, the person who hurt me the most, is my mother.
If it had not been for my faith in Jesus and God's teaching of respecting my parents, I think I would never want to meet my parents ever again. If I had not believed the word of Jesus, I would never even talk to my father and mother, who gave me birth and raised me.
Because of God's love, I can still love my parents. I still call them often and send them money every month. All the years I have been a believer in Jesus, and I have been active in preaching the Gospel to them whenever I can.
I was born in a rural family in Deng County, Nanyang, Henan Province, on August 23, 1984. There are four siblings in my family. My older sister is two years older than me. My older brother and I are twins, and there is a younger brother.
When I was little, I often heard my mother say that before I was born, she said that if I was born a girl, she would abandon me. To my mother's surprise, not long after I was born that day, my twin brother was also born. The elderly in the village exhorted my mother that twins had better not be separated. They said that if one was taken away, the other would not live long, so I was kept.
I still remember vividly that when I was very young, I once heard my mother tell my father that she would go to my aunt's home in Nanyang Oilfield next month. At that time, I had never been to my aunt's house. My mother agreed to take me there. But in the end, my mother did not let me go, while she traveled with my twin brother.
I am six years older than my little brother. After my mother gave birth to my little brother, I was the one who often took care of him, and my mother seldom cared for him.
Later, when my twin brother and I were old enough to go to school, my mother only let my twin brother go to school, and commanded me to help take care of my younger brother at home. My father saw that I cried every day and wanted to go to school, so he talked with my mother. Later, my mother agreed, but she didn't buy me any books. Instead, she let me sit next to my twin brother and let me read the same set of books with him.
Once, my father told my mother that I had been wearing the same pair of pants every day without changing them, and asked her to go out and buy me a pair of new pants. But later, my mom only bought a pair of new pants for my sister. My father was very angry. In the end, my father paid a female neighbor of ours to take me shopping to buy a pair of pants.
I remember that when I was in school, in order to make my mother happy, I would skip lunch and save the money for food. Then I would give it to my mother. She would laugh and take the money happily. To my disappointment, she never cared much about me skipping my lunches.
At the beginning of the second grade of junior school, my father gave me money to pay my tuition, but my mother refused to let me go to school. She sent me to work in a woolen yarn factory in Hebei with girls from our neighborhood who also stopped going to school. After working for half a year, I came back home during the Spring Festival. I gave them all the money I had saved by living a simple life. My uncle was a retired eye doctor, and at that time he wanted to start an eye clinic. So my mother told me to work for my uncle to learn some skills.
Starting around August 2001, I was only paid 100 yuan per month, and 300 yuan per month in the following year. I gave it all to my mother except for buying a few clothes for myself. What annoyed me the most was that at the start of the third year, my uncle said to me that he would give me a salary of 500 yuan every month, but my mother had taken away my whole year’s salary in advance.
But during that period of time, I learned all the skills that a hospital nurse can do. I would clean all three floors of the clinic every day, and I learned how to administer injections and prepare for patients before surgery skilfully. I could even sterilize surgical instruments with a pressure cooker, and do optometry. In the second and third years of working for my uncle, I did most of this work by myself. After working for my uncle for three years, my uncle fell ill. He had lung cancer. Then his eye clinic was also closed, and I immediately went to the railway station to buy a train ticket from Nanyang to Zhengzhou.
I stayed in Zhengzhou for a year and tried several jobs. I barely survived and sometimes I couldn't even get enough to eat. So I bought a train ticket to Beijing. The next day I found a job of washing dishes in a restaurant for 600 yuan a month. Then I got a job in sales. About two or three months later, when I earned my first paycheque of 5,500 yuan, I felt so excited that I called my parents to share my happiness. The next day, my twin brother called and asked me for a loan. He asked for exactly $5,500, and I refuse to lend it to him. In the end, I listened to my father and sent all the money to my brother. But my brother still hasn't paid me back. Later, I went home again. When I was about to leave, I gave them all the money they owe others before I left.
On the day I left, my mother rode with me to the county and found a bank ATM. I withdrew more than five thousand yuan for my mother. My mother took the money from my hands and carefully counted it. After counting the money, she put the money in her pocket and said, "I'm leaving." Then, she turned around and walked away. I didn't even have money for food except for a return train ticket.
After working in Beijing for more than a year, I bought a car and sold it for more than 20,000 yuan. I thought I didn't need the money at that time, so I gave all the money to my mother. Later, because I wanted to buy a house, I called my mother and asked her to transfer it to me so that I could use it, and promised that I would send the money to her after I got paid. My mother said on the phone at that time, "Consider this sum of money as your thanks that we raised you. We should never contact again. Bye."
Throughout the years I have believed in Jesus, God has been healing and repairing the wounds in my heart. Thanks to God's love, I am now able to forgive my parents for the harm they have done to me so that I no longer hate my parents.
I went back to visit my parents in May this year. This time, when I saw my parents are already very old, I no longer care about what they had done to me. Before I left home, in addition to leaving them thousands of yuan, I bought new appliances so as to replace their old ones which were bought more than ten years ago.
I thank God for having had mercy on my parents so that on June 6 of this year they truly repented and were baptized. I've been preaching to my parents for years, and my parents are finally willing to believe in Jesus. But they went many years without being baptized. Thanks to His grace, God moved my pastor and fellow workers who were from Nanyang Nanzhao, my hometown. They drove more than 140 kilometers to reach my home and preach to my parents for two days, and led my parents to do repentance prayer, then baptized them to the Lord. Praise the Lord! God granted my wish.
(The author of this article, is the instructor of the Smart Parents Camp and the founder of the Home-School Smart Parents Camp.)
- Translated by Nicolas Cao
Testimony: God Renews My Relationship With Parents
