Born into a rural family in northern China, I lived with my grandmother from a young age for my parents had moved to the city for work.
My grandmother was a hardworking woman who was busy tending to the fields and managing the household. Besides accompanying her to the farmland, one of my happiest memories was riding on her bicycle to church because I got to have fun with other children and enjoy the snacks offered by the church aunties during every visit. My grandmother, however, listened attentively to sermons, took notes, and often wept quietly while singing hymns.
My grandmother's love for Jesus showed not only during Sunday worship but also in her daily life. Every night before bedtime, she would read Bible stories to me. As a result, stories like David defeating Goliath, Jacob's dream of the ladder to heaven, and Peter's three-time denial of Jesus became deeply ingrained in my memory from an early age.
Farm work and household duties are tedious and demanding. Yet my grandmother never complained; instead, she worked with joy. My grandmother had to prepare lunch for us every day after returning from the fields during the autumn harvest when our entire family would spend several days gathering corn. Whenever I tried to help in the kitchen, I heard her sing hymns, thanking God for His grace and provision.
I stayed with my grandmother until I was 12 when I had to move to the city for school. I was deeply reluctant to leave her. However, her biggest concern is whether I would continue living out my faith without her.
Before I left, my grandmother prepared a red-covered "Union Version Chinese Bible" for me and reminded me not to forget to read God's Word. She urged, "Even though Grandma won't be with you, no matter what you face, always remember to pray, and the Lord Jesus will help you!"
In my first year in the city, when I began junior middle school, my parents divorced due to relationship issues. Without my parents around and having left my grandmother, I had to face my studies and campus life alone. I quickly developed various bad habits, associating with the "troublemakers" in the eyes of the teachers.
During my three years of junior middle school, I spent a lot of time in Internet cafes with these classmates, often staying out all night and frequently getting into fights outside of school. Our group quickly earned the reputation of being "hooligans" among the teachers.
In high school, my behavior worsened further. I not only disrespected my teachers and parents, but I also crossed boundaries in my relationships with the opposite sex. At that time, I had lost the purpose of studying, let alone the meaning of life. I often lay awake late at night, questioning myself: "What is the meaning of my life? Is this how I'm going to waste my time?"
I couldn't find an answer. I asked to drop out of school, hoping to find a way forward. However, when I began searching for a job, I developed a strange skin condition for no reason. I visited various doctors, but it only worsened, leaving me feeling disfigured. I became too ashamed to face anyone and started to feel increasingly inferior.
After seeking medical help and taking medication without success, I withdrew from all social interactions. My mental state plummeted to its lowest point, and I even had thoughts of suicide. Just at my most desperate, I remembered what my grandmother told me when I left the countryside a few years ago: "No matter what happens, you must pray, and the Lord Jesus will help you!"
That night, I knelt beside my bed, and for the first time I prayed out loud. At that moment, it felt like a beam of light was shining on me. I reflected on all the wrong choices I had made over the years, especially in my relationships with women. I realized that the disease I got was God's discipline for my actions. I began to cry before God, acknowledging that my past behavior had deeply offended Him.
After confessing and repenting, I prayed, "Lord, if You are truly God, please heal my disease. If You heal me, I will live for You for the rest of my life!"
I prayed to God for about three days, and during this time, I rediscovered the Bible my grandmother had given me. After one of my prayers, I opened the Bible for the first time and came across the words in Luke 19:10: "The Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost." As I read this, I was deeply moved and said to God, "Lord, I am the lost sinner." I also read the verse in Mark 2:17, where Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Holding the Bible in my hands, I said to the Lord, "Lord, I am the sick one, I am the sinner, and I need You!"
That same week, one morning while my mother was preparing breakfast, she looked at me and said, "How come the scars on your face are gone?" I was so surprised that I could hardly believe it. I rushed to the mirror and saw that they were truly healed!
Afterward, I shared my experience of repentance with my grandmother and asked her to recommend a church for me. She introduced me to a local congregation and encouraged me to commit myself. In my second year at the church, the pastor encouraged me to get involved in service and to seek God's calling for full-time ministry.
Since joining the church, I have been deeply inspired by God's Word and the life of the congregation. I now consider the church my spiritual home and become a full-time minister.
(Originally published by the Gospel Times, the article has been edited under permission and the author is a Christian in Shanxi Province.)
出生在北方的一个农村家庭中，从小我母亲就和父亲一起去到城里务工，将我留在了姥姥家生活。
印象中，姥姥是一个非常质朴的人，她勤勤恳恳地在农田和家里之间忙碌。除了姥姥带着我去农田里干活，让我感到非常开心的是姥姥骑着车子带我去教堂礼拜。因为每次去教堂都会有许多小朋友和我一起玩，并有教堂里的阿姨给我们发零食吃。每次去到教堂，姥姥都会认真的听道并做笔记，又会在唱诗时默默流下眼泪。
不仅是在周日礼拜时，在平时生活中我也经常看到姥姥对耶稣的爱。每天晚上临睡前，姥姥会为我读圣经中的故事。所以，诸如大卫战胜歌利亚，雅各梦见天梯，或是彼得三次不认主等很多故事，从小就深深烙印在了我的脑海中。
对于一个农村妇女来说，农活和家务是繁琐又辛苦的。但姥姥却从没有过抱怨，反而是充满喜乐地忙碌着。在秋收时，全家人要一连好几天去田里收玉米，而姥姥每天还要从地里回来后负责全家人的午饭。我每次想要去厨房帮忙时，却总能听到她在唱赞美诗，感谢上帝的恩典和供应。
我在姥姥身边待到了12岁，就要去城里上学。我非常舍不得离开姥姥，而在姥姥最担心的是我不在她身边后，我是否还能继续信仰生活。
临行前，姥姥特意为我准备了一本红皮的“和合本”圣经，嘱咐我一定不能忘记读上帝的话语。并且对我说：“姥姥不在你身边，无论你遇到什么事，一定要记得祷告，主耶稣会帮助你的！”
到了城里第一年，我初一刚开学，父母便因为感情问题而离婚。那时的我父母都不在身边，又离开了姥姥，只能一人来面对学习和校园生活。我跟着老师眼中的“差学生”养成许多坏习惯。
初中三年，我经常和这些同学泡在网吧，时常夜不归宿，也时常在校外跟着他们一起打架斗殴。我们这一行人早已被老师视为“小混混”了。
到了高中，我反而更加变本加厉。不仅在品行上不尊敬老师和父母，在男女关系上也多次逾越界限。那时，我已经不知道学习的意义，更不知道人生的意义。我经常在深夜失眠，问自己：“我活着的意义究竟是什么呢？难道就是这样虚度光阴吗？”
我找不到答案。于是就在迷茫之中向老师提出了退学申请，想去寻找自己的出路。然而，在我开始找工作的那段时间，不知为何我染上了一种奇怪的皮肤病。为此我看了很多医生，但仍不见好，反倒越发加重。我像是毁容了一般，从此再也不敢见人，我开始变得越来越自卑。
求医问药无果之后，我拒绝了所有人际关系的往来。那时，我的精神状态降到了最低谷，甚至产生了自杀的念头。就在我万念俱灰时，想起了几年前离开农村时，姥姥对我说的那句话：“无论你遇到什么事，一定要得祷告，主耶稣会帮助你的！”
那天晚上，我跪在床边，这是我人生中第一次主动开口祷告。那时，仿佛感到一束大光照耀着我，我想起了过去这些年自己种种不好的行为，特别是在男女关系方面的混乱。我意识到，此时的疾病是上帝对我管教。我开始在上帝面前泣不成声，承认自己过去的行为是大大得罪了祂。
认罪悔改之后，我向上帝祷告说：“主啊，如果你真的是神，就求你医治我的疾病。如果你真的医治了我，我以后将终身为你而活！”
我向上帝祷告了三天左右的时间，并在此过程中找到那本姥姥曾送给我的圣经。在一次祷告后，我第一次翻开了这本尘封已久的书，翻到了《路加福音》19章10节中耶稣说的话：“人子来，为要寻找、拯救失丧的人。”我读到这句话时，心中马上有感而发对上帝说：“主啊，我就是那个失丧的罪人。”又读到《马可福音》2章17节的经文，耶稣对他们说：“康健的人用不着医生，有病的人才用得着。我来本不是召义人，乃是召罪人。”我拿着手中的圣经对主说：“主啊，我就是这个有病的，我就是这个罪人，我需要你！”
而就在那个星期，一天早晨母亲为我准备早餐时，她看着我说：“你脸上的疤痕怎么都不见了？”我惊讶的不敢相信，跑到镜子前，一看果真好了！
从这以后，我把自己悔改的经历告诉了姥姥，并请姥姥为我介绍一间教会。姥姥把我介绍到了本地一间教会后，鼓励我在其中委身下来。在进入教会第二年时，教会的牧者鼓励我起来参与服侍，并寻求是否有全职服侍的呼召。
自从来到教会之后，我对上帝的话语和教会的生活感到欢喜，也把教会当成自己属灵的家,并走上了成为一名全职传道人的道路。
注：本文为特约/自由撰稿人文章，作者系山西一名基督徒。
从小混混到传道人——一位90后年轻基督徒的信仰见证
Born into a rural family in northern China, I lived with my grandmother from a young age for my parents had moved to the city for work.
My grandmother was a hardworking woman who was busy tending to the fields and managing the household. Besides accompanying her to the farmland, one of my happiest memories was riding on her bicycle to church because I got to have fun with other children and enjoy the snacks offered by the church aunties during every visit. My grandmother, however, listened attentively to sermons, took notes, and often wept quietly while singing hymns.
My grandmother's love for Jesus showed not only during Sunday worship but also in her daily life. Every night before bedtime, she would read Bible stories to me. As a result, stories like David defeating Goliath, Jacob's dream of the ladder to heaven, and Peter's three-time denial of Jesus became deeply ingrained in my memory from an early age.
Farm work and household duties are tedious and demanding. Yet my grandmother never complained; instead, she worked with joy. My grandmother had to prepare lunch for us every day after returning from the fields during the autumn harvest when our entire family would spend several days gathering corn. Whenever I tried to help in the kitchen, I heard her sing hymns, thanking God for His grace and provision.
I stayed with my grandmother until I was 12 when I had to move to the city for school. I was deeply reluctant to leave her. However, her biggest concern is whether I would continue living out my faith without her.
Before I left, my grandmother prepared a red-covered "Union Version Chinese Bible" for me and reminded me not to forget to read God's Word. She urged, "Even though Grandma won't be with you, no matter what you face, always remember to pray, and the Lord Jesus will help you!"
In my first year in the city, when I began junior middle school, my parents divorced due to relationship issues. Without my parents around and having left my grandmother, I had to face my studies and campus life alone. I quickly developed various bad habits, associating with the "troublemakers" in the eyes of the teachers.
During my three years of junior middle school, I spent a lot of time in Internet cafes with these classmates, often staying out all night and frequently getting into fights outside of school. Our group quickly earned the reputation of being "hooligans" among the teachers.
In high school, my behavior worsened further. I not only disrespected my teachers and parents, but I also crossed boundaries in my relationships with the opposite sex. At that time, I had lost the purpose of studying, let alone the meaning of life. I often lay awake late at night, questioning myself: "What is the meaning of my life? Is this how I'm going to waste my time?"
I couldn't find an answer. I asked to drop out of school, hoping to find a way forward. However, when I began searching for a job, I developed a strange skin condition for no reason. I visited various doctors, but it only worsened, leaving me feeling disfigured. I became too ashamed to face anyone and started to feel increasingly inferior.
After seeking medical help and taking medication without success, I withdrew from all social interactions. My mental state plummeted to its lowest point, and I even had thoughts of suicide. Just at my most desperate, I remembered what my grandmother told me when I left the countryside a few years ago: "No matter what happens, you must pray, and the Lord Jesus will help you!"
That night, I knelt beside my bed, and for the first time I prayed out loud. At that moment, it felt like a beam of light was shining on me. I reflected on all the wrong choices I had made over the years, especially in my relationships with women. I realized that the disease I got was God's discipline for my actions. I began to cry before God, acknowledging that my past behavior had deeply offended Him.
After confessing and repenting, I prayed, "Lord, if You are truly God, please heal my disease. If You heal me, I will live for You for the rest of my life!"
I prayed to God for about three days, and during this time, I rediscovered the Bible my grandmother had given me. After one of my prayers, I opened the Bible for the first time and came across the words in Luke 19:10: "The Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost." As I read this, I was deeply moved and said to God, "Lord, I am the lost sinner." I also read the verse in Mark 2:17, where Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Holding the Bible in my hands, I said to the Lord, "Lord, I am the sick one, I am the sinner, and I need You!"
That same week, one morning while my mother was preparing breakfast, she looked at me and said, "How come the scars on your face are gone?" I was so surprised that I could hardly believe it. I rushed to the mirror and saw that they were truly healed!
Afterward, I shared my experience of repentance with my grandmother and asked her to recommend a church for me. She introduced me to a local congregation and encouraged me to commit myself. In my second year at the church, the pastor encouraged me to get involved in service and to seek God's calling for full-time ministry.
Since joining the church, I have been deeply inspired by God's Word and the life of the congregation. I now consider the church my spiritual home and become a full-time minister.
(Originally published by the Gospel Times, the article has been edited under permission and the author is a Christian in Shanxi Province.)
From Gangster to Minister: A Millennial's Faith Journey
