It has been 22 years since I got married in 2000, and my wife and I get along with each other, however, we are different. I am short-tempered, while my wife is slow and likes to "cross the bridge" when she comes to it. I like to put everything away in bags and boxes, even the daily foods, while my wife always leaves things anywhere without any extra effort, but can never manage to find something when she needs it. I get up early before dawn driven by my biological clock, but my wife would stay up and get up late.
When we took off our socks to wash our feet one night, we laughed at each other. My socks had holes in the heels, while my wife’s socks had holes in the toes!
My gosh! How did we ever end up together as we are so different but so harmonious?
My wife analyzed, "You land on your heels, so the heel part of the socks is easy to break, while I land on the forefoot and walk silently, so the toes part of the socks is easy to break.” It makes sense!
The second biggest difference with my wife is my pessimism by nature and her optimism.
My wife would say "It will be OK" to all troubles, while I would worry about the terrible results even when in peace. I have a habit of preparing for the worst in everything. Perhaps this is the difference between tiptoe walkers and heel walkers. My wife always looks ahead, while I tend to look back.
In 2017, my wife resigned due to poor company operations. I was deeply worried that we could not make it through. But my wife was full of confidence and courage for the future with an air of "not a big deal as you would support me". On the other hand, I began to worry about the future and made many attempts over ten years ago when the company’s performance was bad. However, the Lord allowed me try and fail repeatedly without permitting to leave the company. I worried too early, perhaps.
Before the 2022 Spring Festival, there were manyn local COVID-19 outbreaks in Henan Province following the epidemic in Xi 'an, and Zhengzhou was locked down again. We were eager to return to our hometown during the Spring Festival. However, as all the traffic stops, we needed to be quarantined for 14 days at assembly sites plus 7 days at home if we really wanted to go. But we only have a 7-day Spring Festival holiday. What should we do?
It was still far from the holiday, and my wife said optimistically, "It's all right, it will be cleared and the lockdown will be opened." I did not have confidence in it, so I responded with silence. Day by day, my wife felt a little more insecurity, "Why don't we prepare some Spring Festival goods?"
It was only three days before the holiday, the pandemic was still prevalent, and the lockdown was going on. In a prayer with my daughter, I was convinced that Lord would have mercy on us and be kind to us. But my wife got shattered by the reality, and secretly prepared goods for celebration in the city. It was not until the night before the Spring Festival that the Zhengzhou lockdown was ended!
My wife is always sure that everything will have a good result due to the optimism in her nature. But I would go from fear and disbelief to prayer, giving our family's wishes to God. I believe that God is powerful, and as the Heavenly Father loves me and is capable of taking charge of everything, He would bless his children and satisfy their expectations.
When my wife gradually lost confidence and secretly prepared goods, we were even more convinced by our invisible confidence that the Lord would achieve it and let us return to our parents. Finally, on Chinese New Year's Eve, we safely returned to Yichuan, enjoying a wonderful and happy Spring Festival holiday with my parents.
After 22 years of marriage, my wife and I have both changed. I am still pessimistic, but I do not think like before. Instead, I am affected by my wife's optimism and entrust all my worries to the Lord. "It's Lord who gives me peace of life or arranges me in the company and the post. What am I afraid of?"
The Lord says, "Don't worry about tomorrow." So, I only bear the difficulties of the day, and my heart is filled with infinite joy and peace. My wife also says that I have changed over the years, as my grumpy temper has turned into gentleness, my impatience has vanished, and my pessimism has gradually changed into optimism.
This is the story of toes and heels. I no longer ask God why we met each other. Instead, I thank Lord for giving me such a lovely helper. Amen!
- Translated by Oliver Zuo
2000年结婚，而今已22载，与妻磨合得是亲密无间。然而，我们却是合而不同。我是个急性子，妻则是信奉“船到桥头自然直”的慢郞中；我喜欢把所有东西收在一个个包里，就连每日的粮食，也装进一个个盒子里；妻却是凡物随手一扔，转眼就找不到了的丢三落四；我是早起型，天不亮，生物钟就催我起床，妻子却半夜不上床，早晨起不来……
就连晚上泡脚，脱下两双袜子，我们笑了：我的袜子是脚后跟烂个洞，而妻子却从来只会在脚尖处破！
哈哈，上帝，怎么把我们俩搭配在一起，如此不同，却又如此和谐？
妻分析道：“你们家走路，都是脚后跟着地，用力点在后，所以，袜子后跟易烂；但我们家则是前脚掌着地，走路无声，因为脚尖轻盈……有道理！
我与妻子的第二个最大的不同：妻乐观；而我，天生是个悲观主义者。
妻子对所有麻烦都会说：“会好起来的”；而我，却在平安之时也会担心、忧虑地想到可怕的结果，我有个习惯说法，就是：凡事都要做最坏的打算。或许，这正是脚尖走路与脚后跟走路者的区别。妻总向前看，而我，却总手扶着犁往后瞅。
2017年，单位效益不好，妻辞职了。我担心得要死，觉得日子过不下去了；但妻子却对未来满有信心和勇气，一副“大不了你养我”的神气。而我，却在单位效益下滑的十多年前，就开始忧虑前途并做出多次的尝试，然而，主却让我屡试屡败，没有允准我离开，或许我忧虑得太早了。
2022年春节前，继西安疫情之后，河南也多地爆发疫情，郑州更是因为疫情而再度实施封城。我们一家人都热盼着春节能回到父母身边，但是，所有交通全停之后，我们若硬要回老家，则需要集中隔离14天+居家隔离7天；但我们只有7天的春节假期，怎么办？
离放假还远，妻子乐观地说：“没事，到时一定会清零，会放开的。”我对此没有信心，沉默以对。日子一天天临近假期，妻子有些不自信了：“要不，咱准备点年货吧？”
而离放假只剩三天了，疫情并未过去，封控仍在继续。我与女儿在祷告中，确信主必怜悯我们，恩待我们；但妻子的乐观已被现实击碎，偷偷准备起年货来。直到放假前一夜，郑州才全域低风险，解封了！
妻子乐观地相信会有云开雾散的好结果，因为那是她天性中的乐观；我却由害怕、不相信到藉由祷告，将我们全家的心愿交给上帝。我相信的是神有大能，因阿爸天父爱我，又有能力掌管万事，他岂不祝福他儿女的脚步，让孩子们的盼望得着满足吗？
在妻子渐渐失掉信心，偷偷准备年货时，我们却更加凭那看不见的信心，确信主必成就，让我们回到父母身边。至终，年三十，我们一家人平安地回到伊川父母身边，享受了一个美好幸福的春节假期！
结婚二十二载，我与妻都变了。我依然悲观，却不再按我的旧人思考，乃是听信妻子的乐观，且把凡我所忧所虑都交托主手。“是主赐我的生命平安，是主将我安排在今天的公司、岗位，我又有何惧怕呢？”
主说不要为明天忧虑，我就一天只担一天的难处，内心涌流出无限的喜乐、平安。妻子也说我这些年变了，暴躁的脾气变得温柔，急性子变慢了，悲观也渐成乐观。
这就是脚尖和脚后跟的故事。我不再在上帝面前质问：为什么主让我们在一起？反而是：感谢主！赐给了我如此可爱的帮助者！阿们。
脚指头VS脚后跟——我与不信主的妻子的22年
It has been 22 years since I got married in 2000, and my wife and I get along with each other, however, we are different. I am short-tempered, while my wife is slow and likes to "cross the bridge" when she comes to it. I like to put everything away in bags and boxes, even the daily foods, while my wife always leaves things anywhere without any extra effort, but can never manage to find something when she needs it. I get up early before dawn driven by my biological clock, but my wife would stay up and get up late.
When we took off our socks to wash our feet one night, we laughed at each other. My socks had holes in the heels, while my wife’s socks had holes in the toes!
My gosh! How did we ever end up together as we are so different but so harmonious?
My wife analyzed, "You land on your heels, so the heel part of the socks is easy to break, while I land on the forefoot and walk silently, so the toes part of the socks is easy to break.” It makes sense!
The second biggest difference with my wife is my pessimism by nature and her optimism.
My wife would say "It will be OK" to all troubles, while I would worry about the terrible results even when in peace. I have a habit of preparing for the worst in everything. Perhaps this is the difference between tiptoe walkers and heel walkers. My wife always looks ahead, while I tend to look back.
In 2017, my wife resigned due to poor company operations. I was deeply worried that we could not make it through. But my wife was full of confidence and courage for the future with an air of "not a big deal as you would support me". On the other hand, I began to worry about the future and made many attempts over ten years ago when the company’s performance was bad. However, the Lord allowed me try and fail repeatedly without permitting to leave the company. I worried too early, perhaps.
Before the 2022 Spring Festival, there were manyn local COVID-19 outbreaks in Henan Province following the epidemic in Xi 'an, and Zhengzhou was locked down again. We were eager to return to our hometown during the Spring Festival. However, as all the traffic stops, we needed to be quarantined for 14 days at assembly sites plus 7 days at home if we really wanted to go. But we only have a 7-day Spring Festival holiday. What should we do?
It was still far from the holiday, and my wife said optimistically, "It's all right, it will be cleared and the lockdown will be opened." I did not have confidence in it, so I responded with silence. Day by day, my wife felt a little more insecurity, "Why don't we prepare some Spring Festival goods?"
It was only three days before the holiday, the pandemic was still prevalent, and the lockdown was going on. In a prayer with my daughter, I was convinced that Lord would have mercy on us and be kind to us. But my wife got shattered by the reality, and secretly prepared goods for celebration in the city. It was not until the night before the Spring Festival that the Zhengzhou lockdown was ended!
My wife is always sure that everything will have a good result due to the optimism in her nature. But I would go from fear and disbelief to prayer, giving our family's wishes to God. I believe that God is powerful, and as the Heavenly Father loves me and is capable of taking charge of everything, He would bless his children and satisfy their expectations.
When my wife gradually lost confidence and secretly prepared goods, we were even more convinced by our invisible confidence that the Lord would achieve it and let us return to our parents. Finally, on Chinese New Year's Eve, we safely returned to Yichuan, enjoying a wonderful and happy Spring Festival holiday with my parents.
After 22 years of marriage, my wife and I have both changed. I am still pessimistic, but I do not think like before. Instead, I am affected by my wife's optimism and entrust all my worries to the Lord. "It's Lord who gives me peace of life or arranges me in the company and the post. What am I afraid of?"
The Lord says, "Don't worry about tomorrow." So, I only bear the difficulties of the day, and my heart is filled with infinite joy and peace. My wife also says that I have changed over the years, as my grumpy temper has turned into gentleness, my impatience has vanished, and my pessimism has gradually changed into optimism.
This is the story of toes and heels. I no longer ask God why we met each other. Instead, I thank Lord for giving me such a lovely helper. Amen!
- Translated by Oliver Zuo
Toes vs Heels: 22 Years' Marriage Life with Non-Christian Wife
