In a while, I will be baptized in the name of Jesus. Looking back on my growth in faith over the past few years, it's been quite a long journey.
In high school English class, the teacher played a video of Nick Vujicic's speech. He spoke of a heavenly father who loves and accepts you regardless of your height, weight, or appearance. As someone who had lacked affirmation and love from a young age, the video brought tears to my eyes and moved my heart. That was the first time I would like to seek God.
When I was young, my Christian relatives often took my father to church services, and he would bring me along. While the pastor preached at the altar, my father and I would doze off in the pews.
After the college entrance exams, I was admitted to Fujian Normal University, which provided me the opportunity to study in Taiwan during my third year at the university. However, I encountered two major crises during my university years: confessing my feelings to a girl I liked and being rejected, and becoming unpaid labor during an internship at a media company, ending up as a bottom-tier extra in society.
I sank into the depths of despair, questioning the meaning of existence. I needed a savior even more urgently than I did in high school. During my third year, our entire class went to Taiwan.
One day, I happened to pass by a church. I had a vague understanding of the stories in the Bible and was skeptical about the existence of God, but the pastor's wife encouraged me to pray to God. Throughout that year, I sang hymns with others without fully understanding their meaning, but I felt inner peace and occasional emotion; I listened to sermons sleepily for a year, only remembering the name of the righteous man, Lot.
Because I had experienced the warmth and acceptance of the church staff, I desired to find a church in Fuzhou as well during my internship in my senior year. Later, in a community near the university town, a teacher surnamed Chen led us in studying the Bible, and a foreign teacher often guided us.
I started attending Sunday services around the end of 2017. After the Sunday love feast, Mr. Chen would lead us in studying a small green book called "The Westminster Shorter Catechism," which repeatedly emphasizes one proposition—the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Initially, I didn't understand what it meant to glorify God, but gradually, I experienced His presence. I studied His precious word, the Bible, and refrained from breaking the Ten Commandments.
Gradually, the Bible no longer seemed like a mysterious book, and I could understand the sermons. I also opened my heart to share my experiences with believers at work in the youth fellowship. Gradually, I understood more doctrines.
Gradually, this shriveled wheat grain fell into the soil by the stream, and it is about to break its shell and sprout. God took five or six years to change my life.
- Translated by Abigail Wu
再过一段时间，我就要受洗归入耶稣的名下了。回头看这几年来信仰的成长，走了一条还挺漫长的路。
在高中的英语课上，老师放了尼克胡哲的演讲视频。他讲到这个世界存在一位天父上帝，不论你高矮胖瘦，长得好看不好看，他都接纳你，他都爱你。从小缺乏肯定和爱的我，听到这个观点，眼泪盘旋在眼眶里，心内受到感动。那是我第一次想去寻求神。
小时候，父亲经常被信基督的亲戚拉去做礼拜，顺便也会把我带上。台上的牧师讲道，台下的父亲和我打瞌睡。
高考后被大三可以去台湾的福师大录取了。但是，我遭遇到了大学阶段两个最大的危机：向喜欢的同桌女生表白而被拒绝以及在传媒公司实习成为了免费劳动力，成为社会底层的死跑龙套。
我沉沦到绝望谷底，思考存在的意义究竟在哪里？我比高中那时候更加迫切地需要救主。大三那一年整个班都去了宝岛台湾。有一次，无意间路过一间教会。我对《圣经》故事一知半解，对上帝的存在与否也心怀质疑，而师母让我试着向上帝祷告。在那一年里，跟着其他人唱赞美诗不解其意，只是觉得心内安宁，偶尔有感动；听牧师讲道，我睡了一年，单单记住了义人罗得这个人名。
大四实习期间，因为感受过教会的温情和接纳，就想在福州城也找间教会。后来，在大学城附近小区里，一位陈老师带我们学习《圣经》，以及一位外教老师常常带领我们。
我差不多是在17年年底开始参加主日敬拜。当时主日爱宴之后，陈老师就会带大家学习一本绿色的小书叫《西敏小要理问答》，反复被提到的一个命题——人生的首要目的是荣耀神，并以他为乐，直到永远。起初我一点也不明白怎么样才算是荣耀神，慢慢地我经历到祂与我同在，研读祂的宝贵话语《圣经》，不去触犯十诫。
渐渐地，《圣经》不再像是一本天书，讲道也听得进去了，也在青年团契中，敞开心扉跟参加工作的信徒们一起分享近况；渐渐地，我明白了更多的一些教义。
渐渐地，这粒干瘪麦子落在溪旁的地里，快要破壳发芽了。这个奇妙生命的过程，神花了5、6年的时间。
见证：干瘪麦子终于破了壳发了芽
In a while, I will be baptized in the name of Jesus. Looking back on my growth in faith over the past few years, it's been quite a long journey.
In high school English class, the teacher played a video of Nick Vujicic's speech. He spoke of a heavenly father who loves and accepts you regardless of your height, weight, or appearance. As someone who had lacked affirmation and love from a young age, the video brought tears to my eyes and moved my heart. That was the first time I would like to seek God.
When I was young, my Christian relatives often took my father to church services, and he would bring me along. While the pastor preached at the altar, my father and I would doze off in the pews.
After the college entrance exams, I was admitted to Fujian Normal University, which provided me the opportunity to study in Taiwan during my third year at the university. However, I encountered two major crises during my university years: confessing my feelings to a girl I liked and being rejected, and becoming unpaid labor during an internship at a media company, ending up as a bottom-tier extra in society.
I sank into the depths of despair, questioning the meaning of existence. I needed a savior even more urgently than I did in high school. During my third year, our entire class went to Taiwan.
One day, I happened to pass by a church. I had a vague understanding of the stories in the Bible and was skeptical about the existence of God, but the pastor's wife encouraged me to pray to God. Throughout that year, I sang hymns with others without fully understanding their meaning, but I felt inner peace and occasional emotion; I listened to sermons sleepily for a year, only remembering the name of the righteous man, Lot.
Because I had experienced the warmth and acceptance of the church staff, I desired to find a church in Fuzhou as well during my internship in my senior year. Later, in a community near the university town, a teacher surnamed Chen led us in studying the Bible, and a foreign teacher often guided us.
I started attending Sunday services around the end of 2017. After the Sunday love feast, Mr. Chen would lead us in studying a small green book called "The Westminster Shorter Catechism," which repeatedly emphasizes one proposition—the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Initially, I didn't understand what it meant to glorify God, but gradually, I experienced His presence. I studied His precious word, the Bible, and refrained from breaking the Ten Commandments.
Gradually, the Bible no longer seemed like a mysterious book, and I could understand the sermons. I also opened my heart to share my experiences with believers at work in the youth fellowship. Gradually, I understood more doctrines.
Gradually, this shriveled wheat grain fell into the soil by the stream, and it is about to break its shell and sprout. God took five or six years to change my life.
- Translated by Abigail Wu
Testimony: Shriveled Wheat Breaks Shell, Sprouts
