Editor's note: Mother's Day 2022 has already passed. Before Mother's Day, Christian Times, an online Chinese Christian newspaper, interviewed five Christian mothers about their faith and testimonies regarding pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. Some of them are novice mothers, some of them have children who have just entered primary school, and some of their children have already graduated from college and are about to enter the workplace.
This interview is about a new mom Sister Zoe Zhang who is a Christian living in Hainan. Her son is around one and a half years old now. From pregnancy to childbirth, she experienced the hardships of parenting and the joy of life growth.
Christian Times: What was your emotional journey from pregnancy to childbirth during the pandemic?
Sister Zoe Zhang: During my pregnancy and childbirth, I experienced some painful things. The time I was pregnant was the time of the COVID-19 outbreak in 2020, and I felt anxious because of its rapid spread. Before the baby was born, I was so worried about his health. Thank God, the child is very healthy and lovely, and I am pretty sure that it’s God's mercy and grace.
When I’ve got pregnant during the pandemic, on the one hand, I was very happy to become a mother, but on the other hand, I really felt a bit uneasy. At that time, I’ve learned the background story of a hymn "Because He Lives": At the end of the 1960s, American society was full of the "God is dead" arguments. At that time, the Vietnam War was fierce, and the American people fell into a deep depression. Under this situation, a Christian named Gloria found that she was pregnant. Her relatives and friends thought it was not a good time to get pregnant at all. Once, Gloria was very touched while reading the Bible, and then she realized that “the Lord is still alive and he is still in power”. So she wrote this hymn together with Mr. Bill. They were convinced that although the future of the child was unpredictable, the Lord is alive, so they didn't need to fear anything and life is still full of hope.
This hymn also inspires me. The future of my child is unpredictable, but I believe that my Lord is alive. I no longer have any fears about the future, and our lives are full of hope.
Christian Times: As a mother, what is the most satisfying part of raising a child?
Sister Zoe Zhang: It’s about seeing the child growing up healthy and making progress every day.
Children grow up in better economic conditions now, but at the same time, the anxiety of parents has increased countless times. After reading many parenting books and parenting bloggers' posts, as a novice mother, I often put my child into their description. For example, I was worried about whether my child had cerebral palsy or sunset eye? Similar worries appeared in my mind from time to time before he reached one year old. Of course, I also brought these worries to God, asking Him to let the child be healthy and normal. My worries were shattered one by one as the kid grew up, and some “abnormal” symptoms were just the baby’s staged features.
Now my son is one and a half years old, he grows up every day in terms of emotions, motor abilities, language abilities, etc., which often surprises me. For me, the most comforting thing is when my husband and I pray, my child really likes listening to our prayer.
Christian Times: What’s the thing you feel worried about and afraid of the most in parenting?
Sister Zoe Zhang: What worries me the most is while growing up in a non-Christian or anti-Christian culture, he will waiver in his faith.
Modern education encourages children to read widely, but it also means that children are exposed to non-Christian and even anti-Christian views in a variety of books. For a period of time, whenever I thought about this, I was really worried and scared. I talked with two Christian educators, and after listening to their views, my heart is at ease now. It is impossible for us to keep our children in the ivory tower of faith, which is probably extremely conservative and unhealthy. Children can and need to have connections with society and read widely.
Christian Times: Compared with the love of a father, what’s the unique point of a mother’s love in raising children?
Sister Zoe Zhang: A child is especially dependent on the mother before the age of three. During these three years, the mother can give the child a sense of security, which cannot be replaced by the father or anyone else. Also in these three years, mother and child are one, and the mother is the whole world for the child. What makes me proud is that from his birth to one and a half years old, I was able to accompany him day and night.
Christian Times: What’s the thing you do not do well, and what are your expectations for your child?
Sister Zoe Zhang: I pray too little for him. And as he grows up, we parents should tell him more stories, listen to hymns together with him, etc. Sometimes, I don’t have enough time to do these things, so I just cut them off and only take care of his physical needs.
I expect that he could be healthy and excellent in body, soul, and spirit, and become a person with bright life and full of hope.
Christian Times: As a mother, what do you think you need to improve on?
Sister Zoe Zhang: Deeds speak louder than words. I think as a mother, I need to have good devotional habits. My child will see what I do and come to know that it’s important and valuable to be close to God every day. In addition, I need to be in love and harmony with my husband and be the person who always supports him, so that the family will be more orderly and loving.
When the child is rebellious, it’s important to not verbally ask God to subdue him in prayer (also do not let him hear such prayers). Otherwise, the child will feel that God is a tool used by his mother to force him to obey, and he will not have a good impression of God. This is my personal opinion. Because I see a lot of second-generation Christians who are anti-faith and anti-God. The reason could be that their parents may “treat” and “suppress” them in the name of God or faith when they were young.
- Translated by Katherine Guo
编者按：2022年的母亲节已经来到了。在母亲节前夕，笔者与五位基督徒妈妈进行了分享与交流。她们有的是新手妈妈，有的孩子刚上小学，也有的孩子已经大学毕业，即将步入职场。
本文是一位新手妈妈。Zoe姊妹是一位居住在海南的基督徒，她的孩子如今有一岁半多。从怀孕到生养的过程中，她经历着养育的艰辛与生命成长的喜乐。
以下是采访问答：
问：疫情下，您从怀孕到生养的心路历程是怎样的呢？
我在怀孕和生产过程中，经历了一些让我伤痛的事情，而且怀孕时正好赶上疫情，疫情快速蔓延也让人感到前路茫茫。生之前我都害怕孩子会有什么问题，但是感谢神，孩子非常健康和可爱，我非常确信这是神的怜悯和恩典。
怀孕赶上疫情，我一方面因为可以做母亲而感到很喜悦，另一方面也确实内心有点灰蒙蒙的感觉。在那时，我了解到一首圣诗《因祂活着》的创作背景：
在20世纪60年代末，美国社会充斥着“上帝死了”的论调，当时又逢越战激烈，一般的美国普通民众都陷入到意志消沉的景况中。在这样的环境中，一个名叫格蕾亚的信徒发觉自己怀孕了，而亲友们认为此时怀孕不合时宜。有一次格蕾亚在读经中得到感动，“原来我们的主仍然活着，他仍然掌权”，于是和先生比尔一起写下了这首诗歌。他们深信孩子诞生后虽然前程难测，但是有主活着，不用惧怕，生命依然充满盼望。
这首圣诗也鼓舞了我，我的孩子出生后可能前程难测，但是我相信有主活着，我不再对未来心存恐惧，我们的生命依然充满盼望。
问：作为母亲，养育孩子的过程中，最让您感到满足的地方在哪里？
养育孩子的过程中，最让我感到满足的地方是，看到孩子健康成长，每天都有进步。
比起我们小时候，现在养育孩子的条件好得太多了，但是同时父母的焦虑也增加了无数倍。读着很多的育儿书籍和育儿博主的帖子，我作为新手妈妈常常把自己的孩子对号入座，比如孩子会不会是脑瘫或者有“落日眼”？在孩子一岁之前，类似这种焦虑都时不时地出现在我心里。当然，我也把这些忧虑都带到神的面前，求神使孩子一切正常健康。随着孩子长大，我的担忧也被一个个粉碎掉了，一些可能“异常”的情况也只是在那个月龄阶段的特征而已。
现在孩子一岁半了，在情感、运动能力、语言能力等方面每天都有成长，常常带给我惊喜。最让我感到欣慰的是，我的孩子很喜欢听我和丈夫祷告。
问：教养孩子的过程中，最让您担心或感到惧怕的部分是什么？
最让我担心的是，孩子长大后接触到非基督教或敌对信仰的文化，会对他的信仰产生冲击，或导致他信仰动摇。
现代教育提倡让孩子广泛阅读，但是这也意味着孩子会在各种不同的书中接触到非基督教甚至敌基督教的观点。有一段时间，我想到这些的时候，就真的很担心很惧怕。两位基督徒教育工作者，听了他们的答复，我的心安定下来了。我们不可能把孩子关在信仰的象牙塔里，那样的信仰恐怕也是极端保守、不健康的。孩子可以也需要接触社会，可以广泛阅读。
问：相比较于父爱而言，您觉得在养育孩子的过程中，您对孩子的爱有哪些独到之处呢？
我的孩子还小，三岁之前会特别依赖妈妈，在孩子这个年龄阶段，妈妈最能给到孩子安全感，这是爸爸或其他人都替代不了的。对孩子来说，妈妈和他是一体的，妈妈就是他的全世界。让我感到很自豪的是，从孩子出生到一岁半，我对他日夜的陪伴吧。
问：您对孩子的亏欠与期待是什么呢？
我对孩子的亏欠是，为他祷告还是太少。而且随着他慢慢长大，父母也应该更多地给他讲故事、听赞美诗等。我有时候顾不上，就把这些部分削减掉了，只是照顾他的吃喝拉撒睡。对他的期待是：他的灵魂体健康、卓越，成为有“盼望”一般明亮生命的人。
问：作为母亲，你认为自身的成长需要什么？
言传不如身教，我觉得作为母亲，自身需要有好的灵修习惯，这些孩子都会看到，也会知道每日与神亲近是重要且有价值的事情。另外，需要与丈夫相爱和睦，并做第一个支持丈夫的人，让家庭更有爱、有序。
需要注意的一点是，不在孩子极力拒绝反抗的时候，言语上宣称我要祷告求神制服他（尤其是不能让他听到这样的祷告）。不然，孩子会觉得神是妈妈强制他听话的工具，他也不会对神有什么好感。这是我个人的观点吧。因为我看到很多信二代反而是反感信仰、反神的，可能是他们小时候被父母用信仰或神的名义来“对付”和“压制”了。
母亲节访谈系列(1)｜一位新手妈妈在疫情下怀孕生养中的心路历程
Editor's note: Mother's Day 2022 has already passed. Before Mother's Day, Christian Times, an online Chinese Christian newspaper, interviewed five Christian mothers about their faith and testimonies regarding pregnancy, childbirth, and motherhood. Some of them are novice mothers, some of them have children who have just entered primary school, and some of their children have already graduated from college and are about to enter the workplace.
This interview is about a new mom Sister Zoe Zhang who is a Christian living in Hainan. Her son is around one and a half years old now. From pregnancy to childbirth, she experienced the hardships of parenting and the joy of life growth.
Christian Times: What was your emotional journey from pregnancy to childbirth during the pandemic?
Sister Zoe Zhang: During my pregnancy and childbirth, I experienced some painful things. The time I was pregnant was the time of the COVID-19 outbreak in 2020, and I felt anxious because of its rapid spread. Before the baby was born, I was so worried about his health. Thank God, the child is very healthy and lovely, and I am pretty sure that it’s God's mercy and grace.
When I’ve got pregnant during the pandemic, on the one hand, I was very happy to become a mother, but on the other hand, I really felt a bit uneasy. At that time, I’ve learned the background story of a hymn "Because He Lives": At the end of the 1960s, American society was full of the "God is dead" arguments. At that time, the Vietnam War was fierce, and the American people fell into a deep depression. Under this situation, a Christian named Gloria found that she was pregnant. Her relatives and friends thought it was not a good time to get pregnant at all. Once, Gloria was very touched while reading the Bible, and then she realized that “the Lord is still alive and he is still in power”. So she wrote this hymn together with Mr. Bill. They were convinced that although the future of the child was unpredictable, the Lord is alive, so they didn't need to fear anything and life is still full of hope.
This hymn also inspires me. The future of my child is unpredictable, but I believe that my Lord is alive. I no longer have any fears about the future, and our lives are full of hope.
Christian Times: As a mother, what is the most satisfying part of raising a child?
Sister Zoe Zhang: It’s about seeing the child growing up healthy and making progress every day.
Children grow up in better economic conditions now, but at the same time, the anxiety of parents has increased countless times. After reading many parenting books and parenting bloggers' posts, as a novice mother, I often put my child into their description. For example, I was worried about whether my child had cerebral palsy or sunset eye? Similar worries appeared in my mind from time to time before he reached one year old. Of course, I also brought these worries to God, asking Him to let the child be healthy and normal. My worries were shattered one by one as the kid grew up, and some “abnormal” symptoms were just the baby’s staged features.
Now my son is one and a half years old, he grows up every day in terms of emotions, motor abilities, language abilities, etc., which often surprises me. For me, the most comforting thing is when my husband and I pray, my child really likes listening to our prayer.
Christian Times: What’s the thing you feel worried about and afraid of the most in parenting?
Sister Zoe Zhang: What worries me the most is while growing up in a non-Christian or anti-Christian culture, he will waiver in his faith.
Modern education encourages children to read widely, but it also means that children are exposed to non-Christian and even anti-Christian views in a variety of books. For a period of time, whenever I thought about this, I was really worried and scared. I talked with two Christian educators, and after listening to their views, my heart is at ease now. It is impossible for us to keep our children in the ivory tower of faith, which is probably extremely conservative and unhealthy. Children can and need to have connections with society and read widely.
Christian Times: Compared with the love of a father, what’s the unique point of a mother’s love in raising children?
Sister Zoe Zhang: A child is especially dependent on the mother before the age of three. During these three years, the mother can give the child a sense of security, which cannot be replaced by the father or anyone else. Also in these three years, mother and child are one, and the mother is the whole world for the child. What makes me proud is that from his birth to one and a half years old, I was able to accompany him day and night.
Christian Times: What’s the thing you do not do well, and what are your expectations for your child?
Sister Zoe Zhang: I pray too little for him. And as he grows up, we parents should tell him more stories, listen to hymns together with him, etc. Sometimes, I don’t have enough time to do these things, so I just cut them off and only take care of his physical needs.
I expect that he could be healthy and excellent in body, soul, and spirit, and become a person with bright life and full of hope.
Christian Times: As a mother, what do you think you need to improve on?
Sister Zoe Zhang: Deeds speak louder than words. I think as a mother, I need to have good devotional habits. My child will see what I do and come to know that it’s important and valuable to be close to God every day. In addition, I need to be in love and harmony with my husband and be the person who always supports him, so that the family will be more orderly and loving.
When the child is rebellious, it’s important to not verbally ask God to subdue him in prayer (also do not let him hear such prayers). Otherwise, the child will feel that God is a tool used by his mother to force him to obey, and he will not have a good impression of God. This is my personal opinion. Because I see a lot of second-generation Christians who are anti-faith and anti-God. The reason could be that their parents may “treat” and “suppress” them in the name of God or faith when they were young.
- Translated by Katherine Guo
Mother's Day Interview Series: A New Christian Mother's Journey Under Pandemic
