During a gathering of the couple fellowship, my wife and I were asked to share about “Experiencing Grace in Marriage.” We shared our struggles and grace in seeking fertility from God in the recent two years, as I noticed one-third of the couples present were in the same boat as us.
After many prayers for pregnancy to no avail, one time, a sister called my wife, crying out that she had just been diagnosed with ectopic pregnancy. This couple didn’t want a second child, as their firstborn was just delivered eight months ago. My heart was filled with discontent just at the thought of it. I even complained to God, "Why do others who don't want children get them, while we desire a child so much, and yet you seem so'stingy'?"
After complaining to God out of my eagerness to have a baby, I noticed that the child had become an idol, even exceeding God in my heart. While God became the one in my prayers to help me achieve my goals, we began to repent.
At a medical appointment, the doctor told us, “Even the most skilled doctors can only guarantee a 30% chance of pregnancy, while the rest is far beyond human control.” In the doctor’s words, we realized that pregnancy reveals God's sovereignty more than anything else.
We believed that God was preparing us for His grace in this temporary barrenness. Wherever He allows us to be restricted, He also allows us to be truly free!
When we first got married, my wife and I were discussing a year of “just two of us" before having our first child in the second year. However, things didn’t go as we planned. We still believe God is leading us by His perfect plan, as He hasn’t sent us the gift of a child for the time being.
This bitterness of barrenness allowed us to taste a bit of Christ’s sufferings, which makes us more eager for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Our hope is placed in heaven, where the infertile will enjoy eternal joy. Up there, we all become children in His palm because God once lost His son in pain for us.
- Translated by Poppy Chan
在一次夫妻团契的聚会中，我们被邀请关于“在婚姻中经历恩典”的主题有些分享。我观察到，在场的夫妻中，有三分之一的夫妻是和我们一样婚后无子的情况。我们分享了两年来在上帝面前寻求生育时的挣扎和恩典的印记。
我们曾为怀孕多次祷告无果，有一次，一位姐妹突然哭着给我妻子打电话说她刚刚在医院查出了“宫外孕”。这次怀孕仅仅是距离她的第一个孩子刚刚出生8个月后，他们夫妻并不想要第二个孩子。当想到这里的时候，我的心里感到很多的不满。甚至对上帝抱怨道：“为什么别人不想要孩子祢偏偏要给他们，而我们那么渴望孩子祢却那样‘吝啬’呢？”
那一次经历之后，这让我看到当因为渴望孩子而抱怨上帝时，孩子已经成为了我自己心中超过上帝的偶像。而上帝也成为了我在祷告中为了达到目的而利用的对象，我们开始悔改。
在一次就医的过程中，医生对我们说：“就算是医术再高超的医生，也只能把握30%的怀孕概率，而剩余了已经远超过了人所能掌控的范畴。”当医生说出这句话后，我们明白了，生育比其他任何的事情更加的显明了上帝的主权。
我们相信，上帝带领我们暂时不能生育，是为要预备我们经历祂的恩典。祂在哪里让我们受限制，也是为了让我们在哪里得真正的自由！
我和太太在刚结婚的时候，我们商量着先过一年“二人世界”，等第二年开始再生养第一个孩子。但是事情并没有按着我们的计划发展。但我们相信，当神暂时没有给予孩子这份礼物时，这是基于祂完美的计划来带领我们。
这种不孕的痛苦能让我们略微尝到基督受苦的滋味，我们也更加渴望基督再来，我们也把盼望放在天上。在那里，不生育的人一样将会得着永恒的喜乐。在那里，因着上帝曾为我们痛失了祂的儿子，而使我们都成为了祂掌心中的孩子。
不孕的经历让我们自己成为神的孩子
During a gathering of the couple fellowship, my wife and I were asked to share about “Experiencing Grace in Marriage.” We shared our struggles and grace in seeking fertility from God in the recent two years, as I noticed one-third of the couples present were in the same boat as us.
After many prayers for pregnancy to no avail, one time, a sister called my wife, crying out that she had just been diagnosed with ectopic pregnancy. This couple didn’t want a second child, as their firstborn was just delivered eight months ago. My heart was filled with discontent just at the thought of it. I even complained to God, "Why do others who don't want children get them, while we desire a child so much, and yet you seem so'stingy'?"
After complaining to God out of my eagerness to have a baby, I noticed that the child had become an idol, even exceeding God in my heart. While God became the one in my prayers to help me achieve my goals, we began to repent.
At a medical appointment, the doctor told us, “Even the most skilled doctors can only guarantee a 30% chance of pregnancy, while the rest is far beyond human control.” In the doctor’s words, we realized that pregnancy reveals God's sovereignty more than anything else.
We believed that God was preparing us for His grace in this temporary barrenness. Wherever He allows us to be restricted, He also allows us to be truly free!
When we first got married, my wife and I were discussing a year of “just two of us" before having our first child in the second year. However, things didn’t go as we planned. We still believe God is leading us by His perfect plan, as He hasn’t sent us the gift of a child for the time being.
This bitterness of barrenness allowed us to taste a bit of Christ’s sufferings, which makes us more eager for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Our hope is placed in heaven, where the infertile will enjoy eternal joy. Up there, we all become children in His palm because God once lost His son in pain for us.
- Translated by Poppy Chan
Testimony: Childlessness Completes Me as Child of God
