The first time I met a Christian named Yuan (pseudonym), his pastor introduced him as follows, "This is Yuan who is very devoted, loves the Lord deeply, and serves diligently."
Yuan has his own job and participates in church ministrys during his spare time. Originally from Northeast China, he has walked with the Lord for more than 20 years. His quest to seek the Lord began to grow when he was a teenager. Below is a first-person account of his journey to the Lord.
From my early teens, I began to explore whether another world existed, whether there was God, and whether He was the Jade Emperor described in the Journey to the West. I also questioned whether religious concepts like the Temple of Hades, the eighteen levels of hell, and the six paths of reincarnation were real.
Relatively young at that time and coupled with being born into a poor family, I hoped to utilize magical powers to change the status quo.
One day, by chance, my neighbor and I went to a temple, and I confusedly joined in worship. Then I bought some classic books with the little pocket money I had managed to save and "invited" an idol home for worship. Instantly, I felt the urge to always do good in exchange for the unknown grace.
So I started doing good deeds and giving alms. I did not even dare to swat mosquitoes because I heard that a mosquito might be someone's reincarnation. I sometimes gave my school lunch to ants!
After doing good deeds for more than a year, my young heart continued to experience hopelessness as my deeds failed to bring me "good fortune." My parents' arguments grew more frequent; I was scolded more often; and my teachers criticized me more. I realized that doing good deeds did not solve the problem, and I felt deceived.
I did not know where I got the courage to burn all the idols I had previously bought with my pocket money, along with those misleading books. However, the emptiness and confusion that soon followed made my heart sink again.
The winter of 1994 was particularly cold, and it was almost Chinese New Year. I was looking forward to the New Year, as I hoped my parents would buy me nice clothes and give me pocket money. But I was not so expectant because I knew my father did not make much money. I could only pray silently in my heart, hoping that my father, who was a builder, would suddenly be able to get a project and make more money.
Suddenly, one day, people from our village came to my house and told my mother about a God. They said that this God loved the world, even to the extent that His Son died in our place. As long as people believed in their hearts, they could be saved and accepted, asking help from Him in any difficulties.
I found it incredible—this was pure grace. This God was extraordinary. I told my mother, "Mom, let us follow the Lord and ask Him to bless and protect us. This God is so awesome and reliable because He is a loving God."
My mother heard me speak so happily, and she also believed. Even though our family was facing finacial difficulties at the time, we bought a Bible.
A few days later, the same people from the village told my mother and me that Christmas was approaching and we should go to church and attend worship every Sunday thereafter.
On Christmas day, as I entered the church, I received a blessing, "But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." Many years later, I saw that this statement would become a reflection of my life.
Not long after attending church services, my fourth aunt's husband approached my father and gave him a construction project. Soon after, our family's financial situation improved drastically. This was proof to me: God was looking after us; He loved me and cared for my needs.
Although my family experienced some misfortunes and my own experiences have been rather rough, this proof remained deeply embedded in my heart.
After years of seeking and through the revelation of truth, I discovered that only by having faith in God can we find answers, as this pertains to the ultimate meaning of life.
- Translated by Nonye Nancy
初次见到远弟兄（化名），他的牧者介绍说：“这是远弟兄，很追求、很爱主、很服事。”
远弟兄有自己的工作，闲暇之余参与教会服事。他是东北人，认识主已经20多年了。而寻求主的心在他十几岁的时候就已经开始萌动。以下是第一人称讲述他的蒙恩之路。
我在十几岁便开始探索：另一个世界是否存在，那里是否有上帝，上帝是否是西游记里的玉皇大帝。还有阎王殿、十八层地狱、六道轮回之类的是否是真的。
那个时候年龄比较小，加上出生在一个贫困的家庭里，我希望借着神奇的力量来改变自己家庭的现状。
一次偶然的机会，我和邻居去了寺庙，我也稀里糊涂地跟着朝拜了。然后，我用自己好不容易积攒的一点零用钱买了一些经典书籍，并把一尊偶像“请”回家供奉。瞬间有了种想用一切良善换取未知恩典的冲动。
于是，我开始行善，做好事，施舍。蚊子都不敢拍，因为听说一只蚊子也许是某某转世投胎的。我有时候把自己在学校里的午饭都送给了蚂蚁！
行善一年多，我幼小的心灵在期盼中一次次地被摧毁。因为我的善行没有给我带来“善报”。父母吵架的次数却越来越多了，我挨骂的次数也多了，老师对我的批评也更多了！我发现行善不能解决问题，觉得我上当受骗了。
不知道哪里来的勇气，我把之前自己用零花钱买的偶像还有那些迷惑人的书籍，通通烧掉。但是，很快随之而来的空虚感和迷茫让我的心再次低落。
1994年的冬天，那个冬天特别冷，快过年了。我盼着过年父母给买好看的衣服，给我零花钱，但没怎么盼着。因为我知道父亲没赚什么钱。我只能心里默默祈祷，希望做建筑的父亲能突然包到工程活，可以多赚钱。
突然有一天，同村的人来我家和我母亲讲述有一个上帝。他们说这位上帝爱世人，甚至祂的儿子替我们死了。只要人心里相信就可以被拯救、被接纳。并且我们所有的难处都可以向祂祈求……
我觉得太不可思议了，这是白白的恩典，这位上帝太特别了。我对母亲说，“妈妈，我们信主吧，求主保佑我们。这个上帝太厉害了，太可靠了，因为祂是有爱的上帝。”
母亲听我这么高兴地和她说，母亲也信了。那时，家里很困难，但我们还是花钱买了一本圣书。
几天之后，同村的人又来我家告诉我和我母亲说快过圣诞节了，可以去教堂，并且以后每个星期天都要去敬拜。
圣诞节那天，进入教堂，我还领受了一个祝福，“你却要凡事谨慎，忍受苦难，做传道的工夫，尽你的职份。”多年之后，我看到这句话将成为我人生的写照。
去教堂之后没过多久我四姑夫来找我父亲，他给父亲揽了工程项目。随后，我家瞬间富裕起来了。这是上帝给我的确据：上帝是眷顾我们的，祂告诉我祂爱我，祂关心我的需要。
虽然后来，我的家庭发生了一些变故，我自己的经历也比较坎坷，但是这个确据一直深藏在我的心中。
在多年的追求中，在真理的启示下，我发现只有信仰上帝才有答案，因为这是关于人生终极意义的。
故事| 一位弟兄从追求行善到接受白白恩典的蒙恩之路
The first time I met a Christian named Yuan (pseudonym), his pastor introduced him as follows, "This is Yuan who is very devoted, loves the Lord deeply, and serves diligently."
Yuan has his own job and participates in church ministrys during his spare time. Originally from Northeast China, he has walked with the Lord for more than 20 years. His quest to seek the Lord began to grow when he was a teenager. Below is a first-person account of his journey to the Lord.
From my early teens, I began to explore whether another world existed, whether there was God, and whether He was the Jade Emperor described in the Journey to the West. I also questioned whether religious concepts like the Temple of Hades, the eighteen levels of hell, and the six paths of reincarnation were real.
Relatively young at that time and coupled with being born into a poor family, I hoped to utilize magical powers to change the status quo.
One day, by chance, my neighbor and I went to a temple, and I confusedly joined in worship. Then I bought some classic books with the little pocket money I had managed to save and "invited" an idol home for worship. Instantly, I felt the urge to always do good in exchange for the unknown grace.
So I started doing good deeds and giving alms. I did not even dare to swat mosquitoes because I heard that a mosquito might be someone's reincarnation. I sometimes gave my school lunch to ants!
After doing good deeds for more than a year, my young heart continued to experience hopelessness as my deeds failed to bring me "good fortune." My parents' arguments grew more frequent; I was scolded more often; and my teachers criticized me more. I realized that doing good deeds did not solve the problem, and I felt deceived.
I did not know where I got the courage to burn all the idols I had previously bought with my pocket money, along with those misleading books. However, the emptiness and confusion that soon followed made my heart sink again.
The winter of 1994 was particularly cold, and it was almost Chinese New Year. I was looking forward to the New Year, as I hoped my parents would buy me nice clothes and give me pocket money. But I was not so expectant because I knew my father did not make much money. I could only pray silently in my heart, hoping that my father, who was a builder, would suddenly be able to get a project and make more money.
Suddenly, one day, people from our village came to my house and told my mother about a God. They said that this God loved the world, even to the extent that His Son died in our place. As long as people believed in their hearts, they could be saved and accepted, asking help from Him in any difficulties.
I found it incredible—this was pure grace. This God was extraordinary. I told my mother, "Mom, let us follow the Lord and ask Him to bless and protect us. This God is so awesome and reliable because He is a loving God."
My mother heard me speak so happily, and she also believed. Even though our family was facing finacial difficulties at the time, we bought a Bible.
A few days later, the same people from the village told my mother and me that Christmas was approaching and we should go to church and attend worship every Sunday thereafter.
On Christmas day, as I entered the church, I received a blessing, "But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." Many years later, I saw that this statement would become a reflection of my life.
Not long after attending church services, my fourth aunt's husband approached my father and gave him a construction project. Soon after, our family's financial situation improved drastically. This was proof to me: God was looking after us; He loved me and cared for my needs.
Although my family experienced some misfortunes and my own experiences have been rather rough, this proof remained deeply embedded in my heart.
After years of seeking and through the revelation of truth, I discovered that only by having faith in God can we find answers, as this pertains to the ultimate meaning of life.
- Translated by Nonye Nancy
Story: From Pursuing Good Works to Receiving Free Grace
