Life Testimony: Founding Drug Treatment and Rehabilitation Center, Drug Addict Converts to Christianity and Serve Junkies(Part 1)

编者按：这篇文章是信望爱之家创办人黎明弟兄的信仰见证，详细讲述了上帝如何带领他成功戒毒，呼召他建立信望爱福音戒毒所事工，并靠着神的大能帮助一个个痛苦的吸毒者归主，看到一个个破碎绝望的生命被主改变和修复时，只能向神献上感恩和赞美。

我的个人见证分为经历四个神迹奇事，当中有两个“医治”和两个“神在沙漠中开江河开展福音事工带领事工”的神迹。

第一个医治：是在我戒毒18天回来的第3天，这么短时间就开始服侍这个戒毒事工：

第二个医治：就是我身体的病也是这样凭信心，依靠神得到了医治。

其它两个“神迹”：其中一个是信望爱之家拿着120元，就是这样一无所有的环境坚持不收费凭信心仰望神的供应经历神的丰盛。

第二个“神迹”就是拿着几百块钱宣告凭信心建设信望爱之家的礼堂及生活设施，礼堂的功能将会牧养服侍戒毒的弟兄及家属，还有附近的邻居。

以下是信望爱之家创立人黎明弟兄的个人生命见证：

我文化程度不高小学毕业，但小时候我觉得自己还算是一个很乖的孩子，不爱言语比较内向，小时候家里做服装生意，生活还算比较优越，我本来有一个大哥，但是后来因为吸毒去世了。 而我自己吸第一口毒品也正是自己的亲大哥教我吸的，因为两弟兄同时吸毒所以整个家庭越来越破碎，想起来真是凄凉。我妈妈原来是拜偶像的，那时她为了帮助我戒毒到处求拜偶像。只要有人说哪里灵验她就去哪里，甚至连香炉灰也求回来让我冲水喝，说喝了偶像会帮助我戒毒，想起很愚昧。

母亲97年信主然后带我去教会，98年的时候在广州大马站林伯带我决志信主。我有几年时间用自己的方法戒掉毒品，然后自己创业做生意，因为做的还比较成功，所以极度骄傲。正如圣经所说：”骄傲在败坏以先；狂心在跌倒之前。“ (箴言 16:18 )

后来很快就开始复吸，那时因为戒掉了几年感觉毒品其实没什么了不起，我高估自己了，这次复吸才是真正恶梦的开始。最后生意欠债破产，连房子也抵押了。那时我已经结婚也有一个女儿。我记得很深刻就是有一次因犯毒瘾我连女儿买奶粉的钱也拿去买毒品。我那次良心受到很大的责备，我拿起毒品一边吃一边哭，我恨我自己做出这样违背良心的事。我曾经因为这种绝望，很羡慕那些弱智的人，因为最起码他们不用伤害自己的亲人，那种痛苦是生不如死。

保罗说：”我自己心灵里面很痛苦我也知道，在我里头，就是我肉体之中，没有良善。因为，立志为善由得我，只是行出来由不得我。故此，我所愿意的善，我反不做；我所不愿意的恶，我倒去做。(罗 7:18-19 )“

后来我主动去戒毒，各种不同的戒毒机构我都去过，最少去了有七、八次。有医院、国家戒毒所、不同的福音机构，时间长的一年多，短的一年或者半年，但是没有一次成功的，因为我里面没有真正的悔改回转。反复戒毒吸毒这么多年，差不多到了妻离子散的地步，但人的尽头就是神的开头，当时我断定我自己这一辈子都戒不掉毒品了，包括我家人、亲戚朋友也是这样看，他们纷纷议论说他是一辈子都吸毒了戒不掉的，注定是这样子了。

圣灵光照，悔改重生

2013年10月17日，就是我最后一次去福音戒毒的日子，那次去了一共十八天。但是第七天的时候，有一股力量催促我要找一本圣经来看，我打开那本圣经，看到路加福音十五章，浪子的比喻那里，当我看的时候，神给了我一个新的亮光。

那一段经文，就是我建立信望爱之家，写在黑板上让弟兄背颂的第一句金句：“我要起来，到我父亲那里去，向他说：父亲，我得罪了天，又得罪了你，从今以后，我不配称为你的儿子，把我当作一个雇工吧。（路15:18-19）”这是我悔改，神光照我的话语。当时我读完那一句经文，顿时眼泪不停地流，嚎啕大哭。一刹那间好像有针扎了我的心，那么痛，那么难受，那么心碎，我不停地哭，便跪下来祷告，我求神说：“神怜悯我，赦免我这个罪人。我真的是该死！”我真的感觉到我就是那个浪子，那么落魄，没有尊严，得罪了天也得罪了地，当时我呼求神赐给我一个新的心志……“

我对神说我不愿意再过这种生活，我真的不愿意再过吸毒的生活。我渴望做一个有尊严的人，有志向的人，求神医治我好像一个正常人那样，就是从来没有吸过毒一般。把我那些吸毒的记忆也拿走，求主亲自来医治我。“忧伤痛悔的心，你必不轻看。(诗51:17)”

我感谢主，就在这个时候，我听到圣灵的声音，圣灵跟我说：“你要手洁心清，敬虔度日。”那个时候，我觉得我看这个世界也截然不同，整个人就开始很容易感恩，很容易就感动。那颗心变得很柔软，很柔软。我以前是埋怨、咒诅。现在看人和事的心态都变得美好有盼望。后来到了第18天的时候，因为身体的问题，我就回家了。我回家的时候那些弟兄姊妹都在等我。他们知道我要回来，他们跟我母亲说，“怎么好呢？这次去了18天，那么短的时间就回来了。怎么可能戒得了毒呢？以前去那么久，各种各样的方法都用尽了，都戒不掉，这一次是18天。从来没有试过这么短的时间，肯定又是不行了。”

确实以前不管我戒多久，戒一年或者二年，只要那辆公共汽车差不多到我们南村站这里，我心里就抑制不住自己一定要去找毒品。但是那天回到家奇妙的事发生了，我完全没兴趣再找毒品，而是第一时间，感觉到我很亏欠那些弟兄姊妹们和我的家人。我一个一个的抱着他们。我说我很亏欠你们，因为你们很不容易凑到几千块钱送我去戒毒，交押金，交伙食费，买新的衣服，买日用品给我，我心里感到说不出的亏欠你们，一过说一边忍着愧疚的泪。我跟他们分享说……我每次冲凉洗头的时候我看到你们买给我的日用品，我都很感动，不由自主地哭出来，因为我看到有人关心我，爱我这个连我自己也讨厌自己的人。你们买最好的日用品给我，买新的衣服给我这样不配的人。我终于明白了什么叫爱人如己，爱人如己就是用对待自己最好的方式来待那些不可爱的人。

后来他们走了，然后我对母亲说，我真的是身体有病，觉得自己的生命好像存活不了多久，连睡觉身体也很痛，吃不下饭，越来越瘦，精神状态一天比一天差。我母亲也相信我，她第二天就去祈祷会。去的时候我叮嘱她，不要跟弟兄姊妹们说我生病，因为不想他们误会我。本来她们就误会我了，觉得我自己不争气，这样放弃回来。现在去了十多天，回来说自己病成这样，人家会以为我在撒谎、狡辩，我不想人家认为我是这样的人，那时我承受着很大的委屈，有苦自己知，有口难言，然后我母亲就去参加祈祷会。

神的呼召，喜乐的灵充满我

那时大概晚上八点多，我一个人在客厅，突然，我感觉到自己里面的那些忧伤，对身体的担心，对生活环境的忧虑都烟消云散。我感到很喜乐、很兴奋、很激动，那种心情，我现在还记忆犹新。很深刻的记忆，那种心情就好像是有很宝贵的财宝在我的口袋里，而且只有你一个人知道，全世界人都不知道。那时用什么形容词也形容不了的那种宝贵，那种喜乐是前所未有的，我想这个就叫圣灵充满，圣灵的浇灌，喜乐的灵充满着我！然后我感觉到有神的呼召，主说，“你要跟随我，”我说，“我愿意我愿意！”主说，“你跟随我，连生命都不要，你怕不怕？”我说，“我都不怕。”那个时候，我不停地流泪求神说：“天父我求你，如果你要我跟随你服侍你，求你医治我，让我有健康的身体，有好的精神体力去服侍你、服侍人。”那个时候，我听到神在回应我，祂说：“只要你听话，不要犯罪，我必医治你的。”那个时候，我感觉很平安很平安，没有了恐惧，那种喜乐的灵充满着我，一点忧伤和恐惧也没有了。后来我母亲大概十点钟回到家。回来的时候，她那个家庭小组的一位姊妹就打电话过来说，“黎明啊，你母亲说你生病，明天她带你去看病。”当时我毫不犹豫的说不用了，不用了，因为神说医治我。姊妹说，“我们祷告了，我们带你去看病，神会医治你的。”我说不用看，不用吃药，神说只要我听话，不犯罪，神必定医治我的。我说就这样等候祂，等候祂，祂必医治我。她说“你信心这么大？”我说“是的”。我的信心是能移山的信心，然后我对她说：“你不要再说了，再说就小信了。”我妈在我旁边也这样说，“人家叫你去看病，你就去吧！”我认真的对我妈说，这么多年以来，你每一次说有病就祷告，我从来只有骂你，甚至我对耶稣充满了怨恨，就连十字架都摘掉，圣经也撕掉，诗歌本也撕掉。我说我以前是这样的人，我现在说神已经医治我了，你反而不相信我，我对母亲说：“从现在开始，你只要开开心心过每一天，我们家会越来越好的。我说神迹奇事会在我们家里发生，但是我不知道怎么样跟你说，但是我知道我这一次是真的不同了，但是我说不出那种感觉。”

接下来的那段时间很多时候自己一个人安静下来的时候总会不由自主的流泪，记得有一次母亲问我，“黎明你为什么哭，是否身体很痛？”我对她说：“没有。”母亲问我，“既然不是身体痛，为什么不停地哭？”我说，“天父真的很爱我，让我感觉那种主的恩典，大到让我无法不感动流泪的程度，就是这样每天我都活在感恩中。虽然那时家里很困难而我自己身体有病痛，但我形容自己是世界上最幸福的人。凡事感恩、祷告、读经、默想。大概过了一个月左右，我的身体一天比一天好了，一个月左右我的身体就完全没事了，到现在将近二年时间。因为圣经说：”喜乐的心乃是良药；忧伤的灵使骨枯干。 (箴言 17:22 )“

Editor's note: This story talks about the life testimony of Li Ming, the founder of Faith, Hope & Love family. It tells how God led him out of drugs successfully, called him to found the drug rehabilitation center and to help many drug addicts in pain convert to Christianity. When we see the change and restoration of these people, what we can do is to give our thanks and praise to God.

There are four miracles in Li’s life, including two healing miracles and two miracles that lead him to the gospel ministry.

The first healing: Li quit the drugs within 21 days 

Li Ming had graduated from primary school when he quit his studies. He was a well-behaved introverted boy. His parents were in the clothing business and his family lived a good life. He had an elder brother who died of drug overdose. It was his brother who taught him to take drugs. The family became broken because the two brothers were both drug addicts. His mother worshipped lots of idols in hopes that he would get rid of the drugs. She even gave him water mixed with the ashes of the candles, saying that it would help him get out of drug usage, which made him think it was truly foolish.   

“My mother gave her life to Christ in 1997 and brought me to church. I converted to Christianity in Guangzhou in 1998. For some years I quit drugs and started my own business which was successful. I was really proud at that time. The Bible says, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."(Proverbs 16:18)

However, later he began to take drugs again thinking it was nothing since he had already quit it for some years. But it was the beginning of a disaster. Finally, his business went bankrupt and he ran into debt, his house was mortgaged. Even if he had a daughter, he would use whatever money he had to buy drugs instead of his daughter’s milk powder. He was blamed greatly and he took more drugs while crying, hating himself for doing such a thing. 

He went to at least seven to eight different drug rehabilitation centers to try and quit drugs. But he never succeeded for there was no real repentance inside him. Eventually, his wife asked for a divorce. It seemed like this was his end but it was only the beginning of God's work.  

He cried to God that he didn't want to live a life like this. He wanted to be a man of dignity. He asked God to cure him, to take away his memory of taking drugs and to change him into an ordinary man. At that moment, the Holy Spirit said to him: "You should clean your hands and purify your heart and live a Godly life." Then his heart became soft and he became grateful. On the eighteenth day, he went home because he had some health problems. 

From that day on, he had no interest in drugs. His family and Christian friends were waiting for his arrival. He hugged them one by one for he felt he owed them and his family. With shameful tears on his face, he apologized to them because they raised money to send him to the gospel center and bought new clothes and daily necessities for him. He shared with them that each time he saw the necessities they bought for him, he felt really moved. There were people who cared for him and loved him, even when he hated himself and felt unworthy of being loved. He finally understood what "love your neighbor as yourself" meant. It meant treating those who are worthy of being loved as the best way you treat yourself.

The second healing: God healed his disease through his faith

At home, he was sick and thought he couldn't live long. He couldn't eat and was getting thinner, suffering from pain even sleeping. One day he told his mom about the sickness. The next day his mom went to church to attend the prayer meeting and asked brothers and sisters to pray for him. In the evening, alone in the drawing room, he suddenly felt joyful and excited while his sadness and worry were gone. The joy he never had before may come from the pouring of the Spirit. God was calling him and they had a conversation:

"You should follow me."

"I do. I do!" He replied.

"Do you dare to follow me at the risk of your life?"

"I dare."

He asked God with tears: "Heavenly father I ask you: if you want me to follow you, please heal me and grant me good health to serve you."

That time God responded to him, "I will heal you unless you listen to me and stop sinning."

He felt peaceful since then. When his mother came back, a sister of her group called to him and wanted to bring him to the hospital after praying for him. But he refused to go to hopistal nor take medicine. He believed if he listened to God and stopped sinning, God would definitely heal him. Since then, he often cried for feeling God's love, describing himself as the world's happiest man. After a month, he was feeling better and the disease was almost gone, as the bible says "a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" (Proverbs 17:22)

- Translated by Karen Luo