Nowadays, singleness, late marriages, having children late, and even remaining dink (both working parents without children) are very common. A brother who has served the church for many years encourages Christians to value the blessings of marriage and raising children.
The brother calls on Christians not to be influenced by secularization or by the times. He did not have children until he was about 35, but now to him he thinks his age of having children was rather late. He holds that if one does not have the gift of celibacy, he should get married as soon as possible and have children early. The later you get married, the more trials you will encounter, especially when it comes to sex. He also sees some reasons why Christians do not get married or get married late: “Christians are influenced by secular ideas, and too many young people pursue so-called success and do not form a correct view of marriage. There are too many older single believers whose hearts are impetuous and uncertain. They want to gain in marriage more than they give.”
He stresses, “The first thing in marriage is to be prepared to give, and to be prepared to commit to someone. Marriage does not mean that the person should achieve success in some aspects before getting married. Christian marriage can not be secularized, and one can not choose a marriage partner like a commodity.”
This brother regards raising children as a very precious blessing from God, urging believers not to take raising children as a burden.
“Although some Christians choose not to get married in order to have more time and energy to bear spiritual fruit, it seems to me that it is God’s will to have many children. It is hard to understand the Heavenly Father’s mood if you do not have children yourself.” It is found that in the process of raising children, the brother’s life and knowledge of faith have been updated much. “It is difficult to appreciate the joy of raising children without having children. As a parent, you can have a deeper understanding of how to give love and enjoy it.”
For many people, they are afraid to have and raise children, and even have anxiety. He also expresses his understanding, because the pressure of educating children in modern society is too great. The material, mental, temporal and physical cost is much higher than that of the past.
He admits that he suffered from raising a child. When there was only one child, the family of three had lived a life of “racing around the clock” every day. Parents focused on the child, picked him up four or five times a day, and accompanied him to do the homework. Every day, they tossed and turned until 11 or 12 o’clock at night.
When he prayed for a simpler way to raise a child, he found that there was actually a way. Later, he began to change his mind. “Children are an inheritance given by God, and parents are just housekeepers.” He decided not to go around the child nor to ask them to meet his own requirements, but to let them do what they like and learn to be independent. He realized that children do not need to take the path chosen by their parents like the previous generation, but only cultivate their character and let them take the right path.
On the child’s schooling, his philosophy is: “We are the companion and supervision of the child, giving him help and guidance when he needs it. As for the future pathway, the child will choose for himself when he is older.”
“Before, we were anxious about our child’s education. When we chose to entrust it to God completely, we did not feel tired. Then we asked for a second child, and now we find it easier and easier to raise a child,” he adds.
The brother looks at his little daughter who is sitting on the ground reading with her friends and he smiles happily. “How nice it is to watch them every day! They are all lovely, and I am very happy to look at them.”
He also gives pertinent advice to Christian parents: “Parents should accept the reality that there is no perfect education and no two children are exactly the same. They should learn to respect their children’s individuality and educate them based on the truth.”
- Translated by Charlie Li
现今时代，不结婚、晚婚、晚育，甚至丁克的现象都很常见，而一位多年服事教会的弟兄就鼓励基督徒看重婚姻和养育子女的祝福。
这位弟兄呼吁基督徒不要受世俗化和时代的影响。他35岁左右才要孩子，但现在他看来，他认为自己要孩子晚了点。他认为如果不是有独身的恩赐就尽早结婚，早生孩子。结婚越晚，遇到的试炼越多，尤其是在性的方面。他也看到基督徒不结婚、晚结婚的部分原因：“基督徒被世俗观念影响，太多年轻人追求所谓的成功，没有形成正确的婚姻观。还有太多大龄单身信徒的心是浮躁的、不定的，他们更多时候想在婚姻中得到却不想付出。”
他强调说，“婚姻首先是要准备付出的，是做好准备去委身一个人。婚姻不是说这个人在某些方面达到我的满意度，我才能结。基督徒的婚姻不能世俗化，更不能像选择商品一样选择结婚对象。”
这位弟兄把生养孩子看为上帝非常宝贵的祝福，他劝勉大家不要把养孩子当成重担。
“虽然也有基督徒选择不结婚，是为了有更多时间和精力结属灵的果子，但在我看来生养众多才是上帝的旨意，不自己生养孩子，很难体会天父的心情。”弟兄发现养育孩子的过程中他的生命和对信仰的认识得到许多更新，“不生孩子很难体会养育孩子的喜乐。做了父母，才可以更加深刻地体会如何付出爱和享受爱。”
而对于很多人害怕生孩子、养孩子，甚至产生焦虑。他也表示理解，因为现代社会教育孩子的压力太大。无论是物质上、精神上、时间上还是体力上都比过去的时代要耗费得多得多。
他坦言自己曾经也因为养育孩子很痛苦，在只有一个孩子的时候，一家三口也曾天天过着“脚打后脑勺”的日子。父母围着孩子转，一天接送孩子四五趟，陪孩子写作业，每天都要折腾到夜里11、12点钟。
当他祷告寻求一条更简单的养孩子的道路的时候，他发现其实有路。后来他开始转变想法，“孩子是上帝赐给的产业，父母只是管家。”他决定不再围着孩子转，也不要求孩子一定要达到自己的要求，而是让孩子做自己喜欢的事，让孩子学会自主学习。他认识到孩子不需要像上一代人那样走父母选的路，只要培养好孩子的品格，让孩子走正路就可以。
在孩子的学习上，他的理念是：“我们是孩子的陪伴和监督，在他需要的时候给他帮助和引导，至于以后的方向，孩子大了自己选。”
“之前对于孩子的教育，我们很焦虑，当我们选择完全交托之后，我们就不觉得累了。然后我们要了第二个孩子，现在我们觉得养孩子越来越轻松。”
这位弟兄看着跟小伙伴一起坐在地上读书的小女儿，脸上充满了幸福的笑容：“每天看着他们多好！他们都很可爱，看着他们我就很开心。”弟兄也对基督徒父母提出了中肯的建议：“家长要接受一个现实：没有完美的教育，也没有两个孩子是完全一样的。父母要学会尊重孩子的个性，按照真理去教养孩童。”
观点| 拒绝世俗化，基督徒更要珍惜婚姻和养育的祝福
Nowadays, singleness, late marriages, having children late, and even remaining dink (both working parents without children) are very common. A brother who has served the church for many years encourages Christians to value the blessings of marriage and raising children.
The brother calls on Christians not to be influenced by secularization or by the times. He did not have children until he was about 35, but now to him he thinks his age of having children was rather late. He holds that if one does not have the gift of celibacy, he should get married as soon as possible and have children early. The later you get married, the more trials you will encounter, especially when it comes to sex. He also sees some reasons why Christians do not get married or get married late: “Christians are influenced by secular ideas, and too many young people pursue so-called success and do not form a correct view of marriage. There are too many older single believers whose hearts are impetuous and uncertain. They want to gain in marriage more than they give.”
He stresses, “The first thing in marriage is to be prepared to give, and to be prepared to commit to someone. Marriage does not mean that the person should achieve success in some aspects before getting married. Christian marriage can not be secularized, and one can not choose a marriage partner like a commodity.”
This brother regards raising children as a very precious blessing from God, urging believers not to take raising children as a burden.
“Although some Christians choose not to get married in order to have more time and energy to bear spiritual fruit, it seems to me that it is God’s will to have many children. It is hard to understand the Heavenly Father’s mood if you do not have children yourself.” It is found that in the process of raising children, the brother’s life and knowledge of faith have been updated much. “It is difficult to appreciate the joy of raising children without having children. As a parent, you can have a deeper understanding of how to give love and enjoy it.”
For many people, they are afraid to have and raise children, and even have anxiety. He also expresses his understanding, because the pressure of educating children in modern society is too great. The material, mental, temporal and physical cost is much higher than that of the past.
He admits that he suffered from raising a child. When there was only one child, the family of three had lived a life of “racing around the clock” every day. Parents focused on the child, picked him up four or five times a day, and accompanied him to do the homework. Every day, they tossed and turned until 11 or 12 o’clock at night.
When he prayed for a simpler way to raise a child, he found that there was actually a way. Later, he began to change his mind. “Children are an inheritance given by God, and parents are just housekeepers.” He decided not to go around the child nor to ask them to meet his own requirements, but to let them do what they like and learn to be independent. He realized that children do not need to take the path chosen by their parents like the previous generation, but only cultivate their character and let them take the right path.
On the child’s schooling, his philosophy is: “We are the companion and supervision of the child, giving him help and guidance when he needs it. As for the future pathway, the child will choose for himself when he is older.”
“Before, we were anxious about our child’s education. When we chose to entrust it to God completely, we did not feel tired. Then we asked for a second child, and now we find it easier and easier to raise a child,” he adds.
The brother looks at his little daughter who is sitting on the ground reading with her friends and he smiles happily. “How nice it is to watch them every day! They are all lovely, and I am very happy to look at them.”
He also gives pertinent advice to Christian parents: “Parents should accept the reality that there is no perfect education and no two children are exactly the same. They should learn to respect their children’s individuality and educate them based on the truth.”
- Translated by Charlie Li
Opinion: Christians Should Cherish Blessings of Marriage, Parenting Rather Than Follow Secularism
