Two renowned male pastors in Taiwan shared the unspoken voices of "male chauvinists", giving women some answers to the questions upsetting them for a long time.
Rev. Gordon Huang, founder of KUA Global and senior pastor of 101 Church, and Rev. David Yu, principal officer of Good TV USA ministries, had a talk broadcast on the platform of KUA Global, a global mission ministry.
Rev. Huang has been married for 30 years with four children, and Rev. Yu for 18 years with three children, aged 16, 12, and 8.
Yu said that it was easy for men to offend others. "Staying with his wife or girlfriend, not very good at complimenting, a man might affront her." Then Yu shared his own experience. Once, his wife wore a nice cape, but when asked if she was good-looking, he replied, "Beautiful, are you going to be an actor in Star Wars?"
Rev. Huang shared that there were very big differences between men and women. "A conflict starts when you can't understand why your partner reacts in this way, or even think that the other one does it on purpose."
Huang shared how men and women think differently. Compared to the operation of a computer, a woman can “run” a dozen or twenty windows at the same time. With several windows open in a man’s brain, a crash might be triggered. This means that women can do many things at the same time.
Some wives may complain about their husbands, "Why don't you answer when I ask you?", "Why don't you express yourself?", "Why are you absent-minded when talking to you, as if you are not here?" Gordon said that their husbands might be thinking of other things or stressed.
He also explained that men tended not to express themselves under great pressure. The more stressed they were, the less they reacted. When women encounter stress, they discuss it or share it with their husbands and friends. Unlike that, men try to solve problems by thinking and speaking out after thinking carefully.
Huang suggested that wives give their husbands some time, especially when the husband comes home after a long day of work. They needed a little time to settle or relax, and then they could share the things with their wives, he added.
Rev. Huang also shared that when men discussed things, they liked to focus on the general direction, while women differently paid more attention to details.
Sometimes, wives asked their husbands what they did when they were out and what they had talked about, but husbands often gave a simple answer, "There is nothing special".
Wives often feel frustrated at such times, thinking that their husbands might just be reluctant to tell them. But the pastor said, "You have to know that in most cases, men aren’t interested in such details." This is because men and women fix their eyes on different things.
- Translated by Abigail Wu
KUA GLOBAL 跨越全球福音事工发起人黄国伦牧师，以及北美好消息电视台执行长游智伟牧师，于《KUA GLOBAL 跨越》平台直播对谈，分享在婚姻关係中，男人最真实的心声！
近日，黄国伦牧师和游智伟牧师对谈，诚实地分享了那些男人在婚姻里没说出口的心声，两人盼望通过分享，给予女性一些困扰她们许久的问题的答案。
黄国伦牧师已经结婚30年了，现有4个孩子；游智伟牧师结婚也有18年之久了，现在有3个孩子，分别是16、12、8岁。
游智伟表示，男人往往很容易得罪人：“和自己的太太或女朋友在一起时不太会赞美，还会得罪到对方。”他分享了自己的经历。有一次，他的太太穿了一个披风，真的很好看，可是当他的太太问他好不好看时，他却回答说，好看，你是要去演星际大战吗？
黄国伦分享，男女之间是具有非常大的不同的，有时是因对彼此认识不够，才会产生争吵。“当你无法理解对方为何这样反应，甚至认为对方是故意这样待你，就会产生很大的冲突。”
冲突点一：问你为什么不讲？
黄国伦牧师举例说明了男女思维的不同。如果把男女性的思维方式比作电脑的运作，那么女性的思维是可以同时运转十几、二十个视窗的；而男性的思维是无法这样运作的，如果男性思维在运转一个视窗的同时再开另一个视窗，就会出现“死机”的状况。这表示，女性是可以同一个时间做很多事情的。
有些妻子会抱怨自己的丈夫“为什么问你的时候不讲话？”、“为什么你不表达？”、“为什么和你说话的时候心不在焉，好像人不在这里一样？”黄国伦牧师表示，这样的时候往往是丈夫压力很大的时候，他可能正在想别的事情。
黄国伦牧师还解释到，男性在遇到压力大的事情，往往是不会表达出来的，越是压力大，越是没有什么反应。而女性遇到压力大的时候，就会和身边的丈夫、朋友通过讨论、分享来处理她所遇到的问题，而大部分的男性并不是这样。男性往往通过思考来解决问题，等想好了才会讲出来。
因此，黄国伦牧师建议妻子们给丈夫一些时间，尤其是在丈夫工作一天之后回家.他需要一点时间沉淀、思考或者是舒压，然后他就可以和妻子分享一些事情了。
冲突点二：为什么不愿意告诉我一些细节？
黄国伦牧师分享说，这是因为男性在讨论事情的时候，往往是以大方向为主，并没有太多的细节；而女性则不同，女性是比较在意细节的.
有时，妻子常常会问丈夫今天出去做了什么、聊了什么等等这些类似的问题，可是得到的回应往往是很简单的一句“没什么特别的”。
妻子在这样的时候往往会觉得很沮丧，觉得丈夫可能只是不愿意告诉自己。但是黄国伦牧师说：“你要知道，男人大多数情况下不会追问这类似的细节。”这是因为男女在谈话的焦点往往是不太一致的。
https://christiantimes.cn/news/37782/%E9%BB%84%E5%9B%BD%E4%BC%A6%E7%89%A7%E5%B8%88%E5%92%8C%E6%B8%B8%E6%99%BA%E4%BC%9F%E7%89%A7%E5%B8%88%E5%AF%B9%E8%B0%88%EF%BC%9A%E9%82%A3%E4%BA%9B%E9%92%A2%E9%93%81%E7%9B%B4%E7%94%B7%E5%9C%A8%E5%A9%9A%E5%A7%BB%E9%87%8C%E6%B2%A1%E6%9C%89%E8%AF%B4%E5%87%BA%E5%8F%A3%E7%9A%84%E5%BF%83%E5%A3%B0
黄国伦牧师和游智伟牧师对谈：那些钢铁直男在婚姻里没有说出口的心声
Two renowned male pastors in Taiwan shared the unspoken voices of "male chauvinists", giving women some answers to the questions upsetting them for a long time.
Rev. Gordon Huang, founder of KUA Global and senior pastor of 101 Church, and Rev. David Yu, principal officer of Good TV USA ministries, had a talk broadcast on the platform of KUA Global, a global mission ministry.
Rev. Huang has been married for 30 years with four children, and Rev. Yu for 18 years with three children, aged 16, 12, and 8.
Yu said that it was easy for men to offend others. "Staying with his wife or girlfriend, not very good at complimenting, a man might affront her." Then Yu shared his own experience. Once, his wife wore a nice cape, but when asked if she was good-looking, he replied, "Beautiful, are you going to be an actor in Star Wars?"
Rev. Huang shared that there were very big differences between men and women. "A conflict starts when you can't understand why your partner reacts in this way, or even think that the other one does it on purpose."
Huang shared how men and women think differently. Compared to the operation of a computer, a woman can “run” a dozen or twenty windows at the same time. With several windows open in a man’s brain, a crash might be triggered. This means that women can do many things at the same time.
Some wives may complain about their husbands, "Why don't you answer when I ask you?", "Why don't you express yourself?", "Why are you absent-minded when talking to you, as if you are not here?" Gordon said that their husbands might be thinking of other things or stressed.
He also explained that men tended not to express themselves under great pressure. The more stressed they were, the less they reacted. When women encounter stress, they discuss it or share it with their husbands and friends. Unlike that, men try to solve problems by thinking and speaking out after thinking carefully.
Huang suggested that wives give their husbands some time, especially when the husband comes home after a long day of work. They needed a little time to settle or relax, and then they could share the things with their wives, he added.
Rev. Huang also shared that when men discussed things, they liked to focus on the general direction, while women differently paid more attention to details.
Sometimes, wives asked their husbands what they did when they were out and what they had talked about, but husbands often gave a simple answer, "There is nothing special".
Wives often feel frustrated at such times, thinking that their husbands might just be reluctant to tell them. But the pastor said, "You have to know that in most cases, men aren’t interested in such details." This is because men and women fix their eyes on different things.
- Translated by Abigail Wu
Taiwanese Pastors Share Trouble With 'Male Chauvinism' in Marriage
