After believing in God, a female Christian experienced His help and changed greatly, for which she was passionate about serving and preaching the gospel. Once she complained to an elder male believer in the church that her husband did not want to become a Christian. The elder asked her how she tried to lead her husband to the Lord.
She said, "I ask him to turn to Jesus loud and clear every day. I tell him to read books about the gospel every day. And I invite him to the gathering every week. However, he only came once or twice before refusing to come again or come to faith, which almost ticked me off."
We can see a common phenomenon in the church in China, that is, there are many female believers and few male ones. One of the problems revealed by this phenomenon is that many married female believers have unbelieving husbands, which has two causes. One is that some female Christians marry unbelievers since they can’t find suitable partners in the church. The other is that some only come to faith after they get married. Regardless, they all face the same problem and need: how to lead their husbands to Christ. Some female believers feel that there is no way to start, and some have exactly the opposite effect. I would like to provide some suggestions here to help these Christian sisters.
Christian sisters should have a heart of reverence and a precious testimony. Many of them ask for prayers for their husbands to be converted to Christianity. However, the husbands still don’t believe in God or attend church services. Some say, "It is difficult for men to believe in God. They don’t easily change." Please refer to 1 Peter 3:1-5 for related teachings.
This passage mentioned unbelieving husbands who didn’t participate in gatherings or listen to the gospels. How then can he change? It is through your testimony in life. He may be influenced and won without a word by your conduct. Influencing a husband is to make him change after feeling touched but not threatened, which is a change from within.
How can a husband be won over? Your pure conduct is the loyalty to him from your heart. Be in awe. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, which enlightens you on how to behave. Fear God, shun evil, understand what purity is, and keep yourself pure. Reverence also includes respect for others. Respect for your husband will make him love you and please you so that you can win him over. Pay attention to your character and self-cultivation. Adorn yourself with a long-lasting gentle and quiet heart which is a sign of a beautiful woman. Someone said: "I have changed and become gentle for these three days!" Remember, it is supposed to be a long-term mission! How long? A lifetime. Continue to demonstrate your virtues, so in the end, you will be the winner. One of the changes you can bring about is the change in your husband.
After having a reverent heart, there will be beautiful testimonies coming along.
Testimony 1: A wife enthusiastically invited preachers to share the gospel with her husband. Two church workers in charge of evangelism came to her home and were warmly received by her husband. They thought it seemed that the husband was very accommodating, even more thoughtful than a Christian. Why was he not a Christian? Afterward, they chatted with him and tried to preach the gospel to him. The husband said that he found that there was no difference between believers and unbelievers. After he came back from work, he would chat with friends, socialize, and played a few rounds of mahjong. Nonetheless, my Christian wife did exactly the same, which was no different from me.
After his wife heard this, she repented before God. She said to her husband, "Please watch closely how I behave from now on." Two months later, the husband attended church meetings with his wife. He said, "She has really changed. She is not the same as before. She comes home immediately after getting off work. Then she does laundry, cooks, and takes care of the children. Before, I used to do all these, while my wife would stay out of home and play two rounds of mahjong after getting off work. When she returned home, I would have already prepared the meal. Now, she has completely changed!" Because of this change of the wife, she won her husband.
The second testimony was as follows: On the eighth day of the Chinese New Year, it snowed heavily. A wife invited her unbelieving husband to couples' meeting at the church. The husband was not willing to go, but the wife was very enthusiastic and got up early in the morning. After the husband got up, she fetched clothes for him and helped him put them on. When she saw that his shoes were not clean enough, she immediately wiped them clean for him before he wore them. Because of the wife's diligence, the husband was in such a good mood that he was willing to come to the meeting. As a result, at that meeting, the husband repented and decided to believe in Jesus.
Today, Christian sisters, do you know what your husbands need? You should satisfy his needs, please him, let go of your ego, release previous condemnation and contempt towards him, avoid eagerness for quick results, and don't be impatient with him or put pressure on him by trying to choke, tempt or threaten him. Wait for that day —t he day of God. With prayers and beautiful testimonies, I believe that one day your husband will be moved by the Holy Spirit and convert.
So, let's go back and answer the question raised by the previous female believer. We can say to her as follows:
1. Tell her to stop “forcing” her husband to convert. Because doing so might disgust him and lead to opposite results.
2. Tell her not to despise her husband because he is unwilling to believe in the Lord, but to continue to love and obey her husband (see Ephesians 5:22-24), because only in this way can he see the benefits of turning to Jesus and be influenced.
3. Encourage her to pay attention to her character and self-cultivation so that she can influence her husband with long-lasting tenderness and quietness, and lead him to Jesus.
(This article is written by a guest/freelance writer who is a pastor based in Guangdong and originally published by the Gospel Times.)
- Translated by Shuya Wang
有一位姊妹信主后大大经历主的帮助和改变，热心事奉和传福音。有一次她向教会一位年长的弟兄抱怨她丈夫不肯信主。长者问她怎样领丈夫信主。
她说：“我每天都在他耳边劝他信主，每天都要他看关于福音的书籍，每个星期都邀请他来聚会；可是他来了一两次就不肯再来，也不肯信；差点没把我给气死了。”
我们可以看到中国教会存在一个普遍的现象，就是姐妹多，弟兄少。这现象所表露出来的其中一个问题就是很多已婚的姐妹的丈夫是未信者。有两种情况导致这个问题。一是一些姐妹因为在教会中找不到合适的对象，就嫁给了未信者，另一种情况，就是一些姐妹是在结婚后才信主的。无论如何，他们都面临同一个问题和需要：如何带领她们的丈夫信主。一些姐妹觉得根本无从入手，也有一些人弄巧成拙。甚愿在此提供一些建议，能够给大家一点帮助。
做姊妹的要有敬畏的心和美好的见证，许多姊妹为了丈夫归主，请求代祷。然而丈夫迟迟不信，也不参加聚会。有人说：“男人信主很难，改变不容易。”彼前3:1~5有相关的教导
在这段经文中，提到有不信从道理、不听道的丈夫——他们不聚会、不喜欢听人说教。怎样改变他呢？就是透过你在生活上的见证，用你的品行去感化他；感化，就是感动而变化，是发自内心的改变，而不是因为受到威胁。
赢得丈夫的方法在哪里？贞洁的品行，就是心里对丈夫的忠情。要有敬畏的心。敬畏神是智慧的开端，让你知道怎样行事为人。敬畏神，远离恶事，明白何为圣洁，保守自己圣洁。敬畏的心也包含敬重别人，对丈夫的敬重会使他爱你喜悦你，你便可以得着他。注重品格和修养，以长久温柔安静的心为装饰。美丽女人的一个记号，就是长久温柔安静的心。有人说：“我温柔了，这三天改变了！”记住，是长久！多久？一生之久。持续彰显你的美德，最终你会是个赢家。你的改变，可以带来的一种改变，就是你丈夫的改变。
有敬畏的心后就有相应的美好见证：
见证一：有一个妻子，很热心地请传道人去跟她丈夫传福音。两个传道同工到了她家，得到她的丈夫热情款待。同工心里想：看来这个朋友很会接待，甚至比基督徒还周到，为什么他不是基督徒呢？其后透过聊天，尝试传福音给他。对方说，我发现信耶稣和不信耶稣没什么区别。我下班回来，跟朋友聊聊天，应酬一下，打几圈麻将；我妻子信了耶稣，不也是这样吗？也是跟朋友应酬，打几圈麻将，跟我没什么区别。
他妻子听了后，就在神面前悔改。她跟丈夫说：“你看我以后的表现吧。”两个月后，那个丈夫就跟妻子一起参加教会的聚会。他说：“她真的改变了，跟从前不一样。下班第一时间回家，洗衣服，做饭，带孩子。以前这些工作都是我做的。我妻子下班后会在外面打两圈麻将，回家之后，我已经把饭做好了。现在呢，她完全改变了！”因着这个妻子的改变，就赢得了她的丈夫。
见证二：有一年的年初八，下着很深的雪。有一个妻子邀请未信的夫丈去参加教会举办的夫妻会。丈夫本来不太乐意去，妻子却非常热心，早上很早起来；丈夫起床后，就为他找衣服，并帮他穿上；看见丈夫的鞋子不够干净，就马上拿去给他擦好，然后让他穿上。由于妻子的殷勤，丈夫心情很好，就愿意来聚会，结果在那个聚会中，这个丈夫悔改，决志信耶稣。
今天的姐妹们，你知道丈夫的需要吗？满足丈夫的需要，取悦丈夫，放下自我，放下以前的定罪和轻视，不急于求成，对丈夫不要心急，不要给他压力，掐他喉咙，诱惑或威胁。要等候那一天——神的日子。用祷告和美好的见证，相信有一天会被圣灵感动回心转意。
故我们回头来回答以上一个姊妹的问题：我们可以这样对她说：
1. 告诉她不要再“强迫”她丈夫信主。因为这样做可能会使他反感，结果适得其反。
2. 告诉她不要因为丈夫不愿信主而轻视他，要继续爱和顺服丈夫（参弗5:22～24），因为这样才可以让他看见信主的好处，才能感化他。
3. 鼓励她注重品格和修养，以长久的温柔和安静感化丈夫，领丈夫信主。
注：本文为特约/自由撰稿人文章，作者系广东一名牧师。
如何赢得未信的丈夫？
After believing in God, a female Christian experienced His help and changed greatly, for which she was passionate about serving and preaching the gospel. Once she complained to an elder male believer in the church that her husband did not want to become a Christian. The elder asked her how she tried to lead her husband to the Lord.
She said, "I ask him to turn to Jesus loud and clear every day. I tell him to read books about the gospel every day. And I invite him to the gathering every week. However, he only came once or twice before refusing to come again or come to faith, which almost ticked me off."
We can see a common phenomenon in the church in China, that is, there are many female believers and few male ones. One of the problems revealed by this phenomenon is that many married female believers have unbelieving husbands, which has two causes. One is that some female Christians marry unbelievers since they can’t find suitable partners in the church. The other is that some only come to faith after they get married. Regardless, they all face the same problem and need: how to lead their husbands to Christ. Some female believers feel that there is no way to start, and some have exactly the opposite effect. I would like to provide some suggestions here to help these Christian sisters.
Christian sisters should have a heart of reverence and a precious testimony. Many of them ask for prayers for their husbands to be converted to Christianity. However, the husbands still don’t believe in God or attend church services. Some say, "It is difficult for men to believe in God. They don’t easily change." Please refer to 1 Peter 3:1-5 for related teachings.
This passage mentioned unbelieving husbands who didn’t participate in gatherings or listen to the gospels. How then can he change? It is through your testimony in life. He may be influenced and won without a word by your conduct. Influencing a husband is to make him change after feeling touched but not threatened, which is a change from within.
How can a husband be won over? Your pure conduct is the loyalty to him from your heart. Be in awe. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, which enlightens you on how to behave. Fear God, shun evil, understand what purity is, and keep yourself pure. Reverence also includes respect for others. Respect for your husband will make him love you and please you so that you can win him over. Pay attention to your character and self-cultivation. Adorn yourself with a long-lasting gentle and quiet heart which is a sign of a beautiful woman. Someone said: "I have changed and become gentle for these three days!" Remember, it is supposed to be a long-term mission! How long? A lifetime. Continue to demonstrate your virtues, so in the end, you will be the winner. One of the changes you can bring about is the change in your husband.
After having a reverent heart, there will be beautiful testimonies coming along.
Testimony 1: A wife enthusiastically invited preachers to share the gospel with her husband. Two church workers in charge of evangelism came to her home and were warmly received by her husband. They thought it seemed that the husband was very accommodating, even more thoughtful than a Christian. Why was he not a Christian? Afterward, they chatted with him and tried to preach the gospel to him. The husband said that he found that there was no difference between believers and unbelievers. After he came back from work, he would chat with friends, socialize, and played a few rounds of mahjong. Nonetheless, my Christian wife did exactly the same, which was no different from me.
After his wife heard this, she repented before God. She said to her husband, "Please watch closely how I behave from now on." Two months later, the husband attended church meetings with his wife. He said, "She has really changed. She is not the same as before. She comes home immediately after getting off work. Then she does laundry, cooks, and takes care of the children. Before, I used to do all these, while my wife would stay out of home and play two rounds of mahjong after getting off work. When she returned home, I would have already prepared the meal. Now, she has completely changed!" Because of this change of the wife, she won her husband.
The second testimony was as follows: On the eighth day of the Chinese New Year, it snowed heavily. A wife invited her unbelieving husband to couples' meeting at the church. The husband was not willing to go, but the wife was very enthusiastic and got up early in the morning. After the husband got up, she fetched clothes for him and helped him put them on. When she saw that his shoes were not clean enough, she immediately wiped them clean for him before he wore them. Because of the wife's diligence, the husband was in such a good mood that he was willing to come to the meeting. As a result, at that meeting, the husband repented and decided to believe in Jesus.
Today, Christian sisters, do you know what your husbands need? You should satisfy his needs, please him, let go of your ego, release previous condemnation and contempt towards him, avoid eagerness for quick results, and don't be impatient with him or put pressure on him by trying to choke, tempt or threaten him. Wait for that day —t he day of God. With prayers and beautiful testimonies, I believe that one day your husband will be moved by the Holy Spirit and convert.
So, let's go back and answer the question raised by the previous female believer. We can say to her as follows:
1. Tell her to stop “forcing” her husband to convert. Because doing so might disgust him and lead to opposite results.
2. Tell her not to despise her husband because he is unwilling to believe in the Lord, but to continue to love and obey her husband (see Ephesians 5:22-24), because only in this way can he see the benefits of turning to Jesus and be influenced.
3. Encourage her to pay attention to her character and self-cultivation so that she can influence her husband with long-lasting tenderness and quietness, and lead him to Jesus.
(This article is written by a guest/freelance writer who is a pastor based in Guangdong and originally published by the Gospel Times.)
- Translated by Shuya Wang
How to Win Over an Non-Christian Husband?
