Pastor Wang and his wife from a church in a city in Eastern China mentioned that to manage a good marital relationship, people should not only learn about gender differences but also build a beautiful and intimate relationship with God.
They met in seminary and were married in a ceremony officiated by a pastor, entering into marriage with the blessings of other believers. However, in their daily lives, they face many conflicts due to their differences.
Pastor Wang's family places a strong emphasis on etiquette, while his wife is not as mindful of manners. In terms of diet, she prefers light foods, whereas Pastor Wang is used to more strongly flavored dishes. She also has many opinions on his hygiene habits, such as that he doesn’t take off his shoes when he comes home, but leaves them in the bedroom and walks barefoot to find his slippers.
"Although the Bible says that the man is the head of the woman, it also says that Christ is the head of every person. If each person understands that Christ is the head, the wife should seek God's guidance and align with God; the husband should also learn to let God be the head, and the marriage will be full of love," said Pastor Wang's wife. "If individuals often draw near to God, the Holy Spirit will teach them how to act in every situation."
Pastor Wang's habit of not changing into slippers when he got home, which was a big challenge for his wife. Once, God humorously reminded her, "If your husband weren't like this, you would be unemployed." She immediately understood that God was teaching her to accept her husband’s shortcomings.
Once, a pastor shared in a sermon that one day he came home after 11 PM and cleaned the entire house. This incident greatly impacted Pastor Wang, and since then, he has managed his personal hygiene well without needing reminders from his wife. Through this experience, she learned that God changes a person according to His time and manner. If God never changes her husband’s flaws, it means God wants her to learn to be tolerant and loving.
When they had unpleasant incidents, Wang would hide in a room and not talk to his wife. Every time, God would enlighten her to apologize first. Sometimes she felt that God was favoring Wang, but God reminded her not to worry about her husband but to focus on her relationship with Him, doing as He instructed. Once, after an argument, Wang quickly came out of the room. Later, she found out that the Holy Spirit had reminded him, "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."
In her view, faith is not just intellectual but involves establishing a real and beautiful relationship with the Lord. True marital happiness also lies in this.
Finally, Pastor Wang's wife stated that she now has no significant issues with him. Currently, they have minor disagreements only every few months, half a year, or even a year.
- Translated by Abigail Wu
日前，华东一城市教会牧者王牧师和师母提到，经营好夫妻关系是不只是需要学习男女的差异，也需要学习与上帝建立美好、亲密的关系。
王牧师与师母在神学院认识，结婚时由牧师主持婚礼，在弟兄姐妹的祝福声中进入婚姻。但是在生活中，因彼此的差异，他们要面对很多的矛盾。
王牧师老家很注重礼节，师母不是那么懂礼貌；在饮食上，师母喜欢清淡的饭菜，而王牧师却习惯了重口味的饮食。而师母对牧师的卫生方面也有很多意见，比如王牧师没有回家脱鞋的习惯，他常常就将鞋子脱到卧室里，赤着脚去找拖鞋。
“虽然圣书说男人是女人的头，但还有基督是各人的头。如果每个人都知道基督是头，妻子也要寻求上帝的带领，与上帝对齐；丈夫也要学会让上帝做头，婚姻就会更相爱。”师母说：“如果一个人常常清静上帝，圣灵会在每件事情中亲自指教他怎么做。”
王牧师没有回家换拖鞋的习惯，这对师母来说是非常大的挑战。有一次，上帝就像开玩笑一样提醒师母，“如果你的丈夫不是这样的，那你就失业了。”师母马上就领受到上帝想表达的意思——要接纳丈夫的缺点。
有一次一位牧者分享，当他晚上11点多回到家后，把家里的卫生全部都打扫了一遍。这件事一下子就惊动了王牧师，从那之后，王牧师的个人卫生不用师母的提醒，也可以自己做的很好。通过这件事情，师母学习到的功课是，上帝改变一个人是按着祂的时间和方式。假如上帝一辈子都不改变他的缺点，那就是上帝让我学习包容和爱。
当两人发生不愉快的事情时，王牧师会躲到屋里，不与师母说话。每次上帝都光照师母，让师母先道歉。有时师母觉得上帝偏待王牧师。但上帝提醒师母，你不要管丈夫，你就管好你自己和我的关系；我叫你怎么做你就怎么做。有一次，两人闹矛盾后，王牧师很快就从房间出来了。后来才知道是圣灵提醒王牧师“不可含怒到日落”。
在师母看来，信仰不单单只是知识性的，一定要与主建立真实美好的关系，婚姻真正幸福也在于此。
最后，师母表示，她现在对王牧师基本上没有什么难以接受的问题了。现在他们一般几个月、半年或者一年才会有一点点小争执。
访谈| 25年的老夫老妻牧者家庭谈婚姻：夫妻关系，需要学习经营
Pastor Wang and his wife from a church in a city in Eastern China mentioned that to manage a good marital relationship, people should not only learn about gender differences but also build a beautiful and intimate relationship with God.
They met in seminary and were married in a ceremony officiated by a pastor, entering into marriage with the blessings of other believers. However, in their daily lives, they face many conflicts due to their differences.
Pastor Wang's family places a strong emphasis on etiquette, while his wife is not as mindful of manners. In terms of diet, she prefers light foods, whereas Pastor Wang is used to more strongly flavored dishes. She also has many opinions on his hygiene habits, such as that he doesn’t take off his shoes when he comes home, but leaves them in the bedroom and walks barefoot to find his slippers.
"Although the Bible says that the man is the head of the woman, it also says that Christ is the head of every person. If each person understands that Christ is the head, the wife should seek God's guidance and align with God; the husband should also learn to let God be the head, and the marriage will be full of love," said Pastor Wang's wife. "If individuals often draw near to God, the Holy Spirit will teach them how to act in every situation."
Pastor Wang's habit of not changing into slippers when he got home, which was a big challenge for his wife. Once, God humorously reminded her, "If your husband weren't like this, you would be unemployed." She immediately understood that God was teaching her to accept her husband’s shortcomings.
Once, a pastor shared in a sermon that one day he came home after 11 PM and cleaned the entire house. This incident greatly impacted Pastor Wang, and since then, he has managed his personal hygiene well without needing reminders from his wife. Through this experience, she learned that God changes a person according to His time and manner. If God never changes her husband’s flaws, it means God wants her to learn to be tolerant and loving.
When they had unpleasant incidents, Wang would hide in a room and not talk to his wife. Every time, God would enlighten her to apologize first. Sometimes she felt that God was favoring Wang, but God reminded her not to worry about her husband but to focus on her relationship with Him, doing as He instructed. Once, after an argument, Wang quickly came out of the room. Later, she found out that the Holy Spirit had reminded him, "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."
In her view, faith is not just intellectual but involves establishing a real and beautiful relationship with the Lord. True marital happiness also lies in this.
Finally, Pastor Wang's wife stated that she now has no significant issues with him. Currently, they have minor disagreements only every few months, half a year, or even a year.
- Translated by Abigail Wu
Interview: Intimacy With God Resolves Marriage Conflicts
