A reader shared his confusion with me. Many years ago, he decided to follow Jesus and became a believer in the church. Later, he found a partner who did not believe in Jesus. After they got married, members of the church frequently approached him to evangelize his spouse. However, his wife, while not opposed to believing in God and even respecting Christianity, did not want to believe. The church’s action not only disturbed this family but also troubled him.
When my wife and I first established a romantic relationship, church members, upon learning that my fiancée did not believe in Jesus, often expressed surprise. Some would tactfully say, "You should hurry to evangelize to her and lead her to the Lord!" or "A marriage where both spouses believe in the Lord lasts, as you share the same perspective with a common language. Otherwise, conflicts may arise between worldly and spiritual views." Some believers would directly say, "Believers and unbelievers cannot bear the same yoke!" Initially, she liked Christianity because of me, but over time, she became more and more repelled. This was not only the Bible recitation that bothered her but also believers' distrust toward non-believers and the intimidation of going to hell, as perceived by her.
Similarly, my roommate in college developed an ambiguous relationship with a Christian lady. When my classmate confessed his love to her, she rejected him directly because of his lack of faith. To make my classmate a believer, she sought out believers he knew to evangelize to him. My roommate would not like to rush into this very purposeful faith.
In today's churches, there is a widespread notion that the church is at war with the world, with the church being divine and the world fallen. Evangelism is a spiritual warfare. In conventional warfare, the primary goal is to eliminate the enemy without the need to show respect to them at all.
Jesus, however, was different. When spreading the gospel, he did not force people to accept it, even though he had such power. Especially for women and children, groups not respected in society at that time, Jesus equally respected them, letting them feel the warmth of God’s presence.
With the continuous development of society, people gradually value their rights, and human rights are gradually respected, especially for women and children. This is a result of the historical impact of Jesus. Thus, concepts like privacy rights began to emerge. Along with respect for individuals came the concept of social distance. For example, you should not ask people about their salary, age, or their children's test scores at will. It is forbidden to interfere in others' lives without their permission.
It is a fundamental rule to respect others in the current context of social interaction. However, some churches, in their "loving" communities, repeatedly break social rules, making the gospel gradually lose its flavor. This reflects the anxiety and dilemma of today's churches.
Firstly, from the urgency of spreading the gospel, we can see the church’s anxiety about reaching unbelievers. As the messages preached by the church gradually diverge from the mainstream culture of society, the traditional church’s influence declines. This further increases tension between the church and society while also intensifying societal rejection of Christianity. The number of young people is decreasing, so it is difficult for the church to revive.
Secondly, we see the dilemma of traditional churches stemming from this anxiety. With an anxious mind, believers evangelize without considering others' feelings or basic social distance, making it difficult for others to develop the right attitude toward God. They will not accept the gospel. The more the other party rejects, the stronger the anxiety of traditional churches becomes, which prompts them to evangelize to non-Christians more urgently.
How can we change this situation? We must see if the gospel brings comfort and meets people's needs. Jesus said, "This is to my Father's glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." Besides new believers, this fruit also refers to Christian’s warmth and love for others, and his willingness to sacrifice for all.
Therefore, to spread the gospel effectively, Christians should become good neighbors with love, becoming good witnesses to attract people to God.
- Translated by Abigail Wu
一位读者给我讲了他的困惑。他多年前决定跟随耶稣，进入教会成为这个教会的信徒。后来自己谈了对象还没有信耶稣。他们结婚成家之后，教会的成员就隔三差五找他的对象传福音。但是这位弟兄的妻子，不反对信上帝，甚至对基督教很尊重，但是自己又不想为了信而信。教会的行为不仅给这个家庭、弟兄带来困扰。
我与我妻子刚确定关系的时候，教会成员得到我未婚妻不信耶稣的信息时，往往表示吃惊。有的人会委婉的说“那赶紧给她传福音，让她信主！”或者“夫妻双方都信主的婚姻，才能持久，因为你们看待问题的方式都是一样，有共同语言，不然属世的观念和属灵的观念之间会产生争吵矛盾。”有的信徒会直接的说“信与不信的不能同负一厄！”对于基督教，她本来因为我的原因，开始是喜欢的，但是后来她越来越排斥。不仅是因为让她烦扰的背经，还包括对不信者的不信任乃至在她看来下地狱的恐吓。
还有一个大学同宿舍同学，认识一位女基督徒，后来发展为暧昧关系。我同学向她表白，结果因为我同学的不信主直接拒绝了他。为了将我同学变成信徒，还找了他认识的信徒，给我同学传福音。我同学觉得这种目的性很强的信仰，还是不要那么着急为好。
在今天的教会中，有一个普遍的观念，就是教会和世界是冲突的，教会代表着神圣，世界代表着堕落。传福音就是一场属灵与属世的战争。战争当中，以消灭敌人为主，根本不需要去尊重敌人。
耶稣不同，他传福音的时候并没有强制大家接受，即使他有这样的能力。尤其对于妇女和孩童，这个被当时社会并不尊重的群体，耶稣同样尊重他们。让她们在福音中感受到福音的温度。
经过社会的不断发展，人们逐渐重视自己的权力，个人权利也逐渐被尊重，尤其是妇女和儿童，这正是耶稣的福音对历史影响的结果。因此隐私权这样的观念才开始产生。而个体被尊重的同时也产生了社会距离的概念。比如不会询问人家的工资收入，不会询问孩子的考试成绩，不会询问他人的年龄等。而不经过他人的允许不干涉他人的生活。
尊重他人在成为当下的社会交往规则的大环境里，有的教会，这样“有爱的”群体中屡屡打破社会规则。让本来有温度的福音，逐渐变了味道。这其实折射出当下教会的焦虑和困境。
首先我们能从这样传福音的急切中看到教会发展的焦虑。传统教会在社会上的影响力逐渐下降，究其原因显然是自身所提供的信息与社会大众的主流信息逐渐脱节。这进一步加大了教会与社会之间的张力，同时也加大了社会对教会的排斥。年轻人越来越少，新鲜血液不能补充。
其次我们看到传统教会的困境有来自这种焦虑。焦虑所带来的传福音急切的方式，而忽略了他人的感受和基本的社会距离，这让他人无法对福音产生好感，显然也就不会接受福音。而对方越是不接受，传统教会的焦虑感就会越强，反过来会促使他们更加急切地传福音给对方。
如何改变这这种现状？我们要看看所传的福音有没有给大家带来安慰，契合大家所需才是最重要的。耶稣说“你们多结果子，我父就因此得荣耀，你们也就是我的门徒了。”这里的果子不单单是指教会发展的信徒，还包括给他人的温暖，爱众人、为众人舍命的心！
因此，有效的传福音的方式，必然是自己先心中有爱，先成为“好邻舍”，这样就自然成为美好的见证，从而吸引众人皈信。
今日教会须知：发展信徒的前提，是尊重
A reader shared his confusion with me. Many years ago, he decided to follow Jesus and became a believer in the church. Later, he found a partner who did not believe in Jesus. After they got married, members of the church frequently approached him to evangelize his spouse. However, his wife, while not opposed to believing in God and even respecting Christianity, did not want to believe. The church’s action not only disturbed this family but also troubled him.
When my wife and I first established a romantic relationship, church members, upon learning that my fiancée did not believe in Jesus, often expressed surprise. Some would tactfully say, "You should hurry to evangelize to her and lead her to the Lord!" or "A marriage where both spouses believe in the Lord lasts, as you share the same perspective with a common language. Otherwise, conflicts may arise between worldly and spiritual views." Some believers would directly say, "Believers and unbelievers cannot bear the same yoke!" Initially, she liked Christianity because of me, but over time, she became more and more repelled. This was not only the Bible recitation that bothered her but also believers' distrust toward non-believers and the intimidation of going to hell, as perceived by her.
Similarly, my roommate in college developed an ambiguous relationship with a Christian lady. When my classmate confessed his love to her, she rejected him directly because of his lack of faith. To make my classmate a believer, she sought out believers he knew to evangelize to him. My roommate would not like to rush into this very purposeful faith.
In today's churches, there is a widespread notion that the church is at war with the world, with the church being divine and the world fallen. Evangelism is a spiritual warfare. In conventional warfare, the primary goal is to eliminate the enemy without the need to show respect to them at all.
Jesus, however, was different. When spreading the gospel, he did not force people to accept it, even though he had such power. Especially for women and children, groups not respected in society at that time, Jesus equally respected them, letting them feel the warmth of God’s presence.
With the continuous development of society, people gradually value their rights, and human rights are gradually respected, especially for women and children. This is a result of the historical impact of Jesus. Thus, concepts like privacy rights began to emerge. Along with respect for individuals came the concept of social distance. For example, you should not ask people about their salary, age, or their children's test scores at will. It is forbidden to interfere in others' lives without their permission.
It is a fundamental rule to respect others in the current context of social interaction. However, some churches, in their "loving" communities, repeatedly break social rules, making the gospel gradually lose its flavor. This reflects the anxiety and dilemma of today's churches.
Firstly, from the urgency of spreading the gospel, we can see the church’s anxiety about reaching unbelievers. As the messages preached by the church gradually diverge from the mainstream culture of society, the traditional church’s influence declines. This further increases tension between the church and society while also intensifying societal rejection of Christianity. The number of young people is decreasing, so it is difficult for the church to revive.
Secondly, we see the dilemma of traditional churches stemming from this anxiety. With an anxious mind, believers evangelize without considering others' feelings or basic social distance, making it difficult for others to develop the right attitude toward God. They will not accept the gospel. The more the other party rejects, the stronger the anxiety of traditional churches becomes, which prompts them to evangelize to non-Christians more urgently.
How can we change this situation? We must see if the gospel brings comfort and meets people's needs. Jesus said, "This is to my Father's glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples." Besides new believers, this fruit also refers to Christian’s warmth and love for others, and his willingness to sacrifice for all.
Therefore, to spread the gospel effectively, Christians should become good neighbors with love, becoming good witnesses to attract people to God.
- Translated by Abigail Wu
Churches Should Reach Unbelievers With Respect
