Brother Xiaobei is currently a freelance preacher, serving with his wife in a city in northern China. He grew up in a single-parent family and never enjoyed maternal love. Poverty made him feel inferior for a long time. When he grew up, he was not satisfied with his job, and his father died in middle age. In despair, he turned to Christ, and his life has changed since then.
The following is the testimony of Brother Xiaobei in first-person narrative.
I grew up in a divorced family. My mother abandoned me and my father when I was very young. Although poor, my grandma always gave me the best she had, including her faith.
As a child, I went to church with my grandmother, who was illiterate. She only knew that it was good to believe in the Lord Jesus, but she did not know why. For a long time, I did not know the Lord Jesus, and I just felt that it was so troublesome to be forbidden from doing many things.
In my third year of college, I was attracted to a fellowship because the believers in it were very caring. However, they were mostly students who had little experience and knowledge of the Bible and did not make clear the salvation of Christ. Me either.
After graduation, I was away from God again because there was no church around my workplace.
After work, I was fully taken away by "the desire of the flesh, the desire of the eyes, and the pride of life." I felt that I was always committing crimes and that God would judge me, so I was full of fear.
When I was a boy, I accidentally saw pornographic videos, and I have been caught up in the lust since I grew up. After every bad deed, I want to escape from God out of shame. Then I would judge myself, thinking that God would not bless me.
I got no success in my career, nor did I get any success in life. I stayed up late for a long time and got weaker. I lost hope for life, the future, and marriage.
I feel inferior due to my poor family conditions. I had no savings to get married after years of work. My parents divorced; my aunt and uncle also divorced, and I felt that marriage was not a good thing. From time to time, I could hear some news about divorce and cheating marriages. So, I thought I might be single for life.
In the Spring Festival of 2018, I went back to my hometown for the New Year and attended the youth gathering of my hometown church. They were caring about us who worked in other cities. At this gathering with the theme "You Are Going Back to Bethel", I realized that I had no feeling in prayer and no strength in life as I had been away from God for a long time.
The gathering awakened my desire for marriage. At the party, a married Christian shared God's leadership in their marriage. Their sharing made me feel the happiness of marriage in Christ, and I hoped to build a family that was as acceptable to God as they were.
At the 2019 Spring Festival, I once again participated in the youth gathering. I drew a psalm: "Put your life in the hands of the Lord; have faith in him, and he will do it." I thought I had many failures by myself, and I tried to trust them to God.
From then on, I started real prayer before God. I committed my faith, work, life, and marriage to God completely. At the same time, I started looking for a church and resumed the Sunday gathering.
A fellowship sister suddenly contacted me through Tencent QQ Messenger and invited me to attend Bible study. She never contacted me before graduating from college. So, during the pandemic in 2020, I continued to participate in online learning. I began to repent. In addition to accepting God's forgiveness and love, I began to meet God's call and mission. Slowly, I began to take the road of service, during which I also actively participated in a class for singles.
After lockdown reopening, I exchanged ideas about marriage with church preachers and his wife, hoping to get help. Sisters and brothers around me also witnessed the change in my life.
I used to attach great importance to physical conditions, but later I changed and wanted to find a sister who believed in the Lord. After the prayer from myself, the preacher, and fellow believers, someone introduced me to a sister who would be serving in another city soon.
She is a preacher who has served for many years and is several years older than me. I worried that she might treat me like a child in the faith. However, I found that she also has weaknesses in communication, and I could help her in some ways.
After understanding faith, personality, and other basic information, we started video chatting. I confessed to her my past sins in lust, and she finally accepted them.
After marriage, I took my wife back to my hometown in the countryside, and many people felt the blessing to me because it seemed that my family got a curse in our lives. My grandparents' three children are all divorced, and my grandfather died early. My father also died of illness in middle age. I was struggling in a distant city, and my grandmother could only live with an elderly uncle with poor conditions.
Holding her great-grandson, my grandmother cooked with her granddaughter-in-law, talking and laughing. She was very happy and grateful because her years of prayer had finally become a reality.
- Translated by Oliver Zuo
小北弟兄目前是一位自由传道人，跟妻子在北方一个城市事奉。他从小生活在单亲家庭，没有享受过母爱。家庭的贫穷让他长期处于自卑当中，长大后工作不如意，父亲又中年去世。在绝望中，他回到基督的怀抱，他的人生从此改变。
以下是小北弟兄的见证，以第一人称述说。
我在离异家庭中长大。在我很小的时候，母亲就抛弃了我和我父亲。虽然家庭条件不好，奶奶总是把最好的给我，也包括她的信仰。
小时候我就和奶奶去教会。奶奶是没有文化的，她只知道信主耶稣好，却说不出道理。所以很长的时间里，我都是不认识主耶稣的。只是觉得这不能做、那不能做，好麻烦。
大学三年级之后，我被一个团契吸引，因为里面的信徒都很有爱心。但是团契里主要是几个没有多少经历和圣经知识的学生，对于基督的救恩也没有讲清楚，我也没有明白。
大学毕业了，由于工作的地方没有教会，自己就又开始远离上帝。
工作之后，整个人被“肉体的情欲、眼目的情欲和今生的骄傲”夺走了。那时候觉得自己总是在犯罪，想到神会审判，所以心中充满惧怕。
我小的时候无意中看到了色情的录像，长大后一直在情欲的问题上被捆绑。每一次犯罪之后都因为羞愧更想要逃离上帝。然后心里也会控告自己，觉得上帝不会祝福这样的自己。
除了事业上没有成功，生活上也很混乱。加上长期熬夜，身体越来越差。自己对生活、对未、对婚姻失去了盼望。
从小家庭条件不好，所以很自卑；工作了几年也没有什么积蓄，没有结婚的资本；自己父母离异，姑姑和伯父也是离异，觉得结婚也不会有好结果；身边时不时地传来一些离婚、骗婚的新闻……因此我想自己可能要单身一辈子了。
2018年春节，我回老家过年，参加了老家教会的青年聚会。他们一直惦记着我们这些在外地工作的游子。在这次主题是《你们要回到伯特利》聚会中，我意识到自己由于长期远离上帝，所以祷告没有感觉，生活没有力量。
聚会还唤醒了我对婚姻的渴望。聚会中一对已婚基督徒分享了上帝对他们婚姻的带领。他们的分享让我感受到基督里婚姻的美好，所以希望能建立像他们一样的蒙神悦纳的家庭。
2019年春节，我再次参加了老家的青年聚会。那时候还抽到一节诗篇：“当将你的事交托耶和华，并倚靠他，他就必成全。” 我想靠我自己，事事不顺，那我就交托试试。
从那时开始，我才真正在上帝面前祷告。把自己的信仰、工作、生活以及婚姻，全然地交托给上帝。同时我开始寻找教堂，恢复了周日的聚会。
当年团契里的姊妹突然通过QQ联系我，邀请我参加圣经学习。之前大学毕业之后，她从没联系过我。于是，在2020年疫情期间，我持续参加线上的学习。我开始悔改，除了接受神的饶恕和爱，开始迎接上帝的呼召和使命。慢慢预备走服事的路，这期间我还积极参加单身课堂。
解封之后，我跟教会牧师、师母交流关于婚姻的想法，想要得到帮助。周围的人也见证我生命的改变。
从前我很看重外部条件，后来改变了，想要找一位寻求主的姐妹。在自己，牧者和信徒祷告后，不久就有人为我介绍了一位在其他城市服事的姐妹。
对方是服事多年的传道人，年龄也比我大几岁。我有一个担心，我担心对方会像带孩子一样带我。但是，交流的时候发现，姐妹也有她的软弱，在某些方面我也可以去帮助她。
了解了信仰和性格等基本信息之后，我们开始视频通话。我也向她坦诚过去所犯的情欲上的罪，姐妹最后也表示愿意接纳。
婚后，我带着妻子回到农村老家，很多人都为我感恩，因为我们这个家族也仿佛是活在咒诅之中。爷爷奶奶三个儿女都是离异，爷爷也世得早，父亲也在中年的时候就因病去世。我在远方的城市里打拼，奶奶身边只剩下年迈的、条件也不太好的大伯。
抱着曾孙，跟孙媳妇一起有说有笑地烧火做饭，奶奶格外开心、感恩，因多年来的祷告终于变成了现实。
故事 | 男信徒回转到神面前得道婚姻的祝福
Brother Xiaobei is currently a freelance preacher, serving with his wife in a city in northern China. He grew up in a single-parent family and never enjoyed maternal love. Poverty made him feel inferior for a long time. When he grew up, he was not satisfied with his job, and his father died in middle age. In despair, he turned to Christ, and his life has changed since then.
The following is the testimony of Brother Xiaobei in first-person narrative.
I grew up in a divorced family. My mother abandoned me and my father when I was very young. Although poor, my grandma always gave me the best she had, including her faith.
As a child, I went to church with my grandmother, who was illiterate. She only knew that it was good to believe in the Lord Jesus, but she did not know why. For a long time, I did not know the Lord Jesus, and I just felt that it was so troublesome to be forbidden from doing many things.
In my third year of college, I was attracted to a fellowship because the believers in it were very caring. However, they were mostly students who had little experience and knowledge of the Bible and did not make clear the salvation of Christ. Me either.
After graduation, I was away from God again because there was no church around my workplace.
After work, I was fully taken away by "the desire of the flesh, the desire of the eyes, and the pride of life." I felt that I was always committing crimes and that God would judge me, so I was full of fear.
When I was a boy, I accidentally saw pornographic videos, and I have been caught up in the lust since I grew up. After every bad deed, I want to escape from God out of shame. Then I would judge myself, thinking that God would not bless me.
I got no success in my career, nor did I get any success in life. I stayed up late for a long time and got weaker. I lost hope for life, the future, and marriage.
I feel inferior due to my poor family conditions. I had no savings to get married after years of work. My parents divorced; my aunt and uncle also divorced, and I felt that marriage was not a good thing. From time to time, I could hear some news about divorce and cheating marriages. So, I thought I might be single for life.
In the Spring Festival of 2018, I went back to my hometown for the New Year and attended the youth gathering of my hometown church. They were caring about us who worked in other cities. At this gathering with the theme "You Are Going Back to Bethel", I realized that I had no feeling in prayer and no strength in life as I had been away from God for a long time.
The gathering awakened my desire for marriage. At the party, a married Christian shared God's leadership in their marriage. Their sharing made me feel the happiness of marriage in Christ, and I hoped to build a family that was as acceptable to God as they were.
At the 2019 Spring Festival, I once again participated in the youth gathering. I drew a psalm: "Put your life in the hands of the Lord; have faith in him, and he will do it." I thought I had many failures by myself, and I tried to trust them to God.
From then on, I started real prayer before God. I committed my faith, work, life, and marriage to God completely. At the same time, I started looking for a church and resumed the Sunday gathering.
A fellowship sister suddenly contacted me through Tencent QQ Messenger and invited me to attend Bible study. She never contacted me before graduating from college. So, during the pandemic in 2020, I continued to participate in online learning. I began to repent. In addition to accepting God's forgiveness and love, I began to meet God's call and mission. Slowly, I began to take the road of service, during which I also actively participated in a class for singles.
After lockdown reopening, I exchanged ideas about marriage with church preachers and his wife, hoping to get help. Sisters and brothers around me also witnessed the change in my life.
I used to attach great importance to physical conditions, but later I changed and wanted to find a sister who believed in the Lord. After the prayer from myself, the preacher, and fellow believers, someone introduced me to a sister who would be serving in another city soon.
She is a preacher who has served for many years and is several years older than me. I worried that she might treat me like a child in the faith. However, I found that she also has weaknesses in communication, and I could help her in some ways.
After understanding faith, personality, and other basic information, we started video chatting. I confessed to her my past sins in lust, and she finally accepted them.
After marriage, I took my wife back to my hometown in the countryside, and many people felt the blessing to me because it seemed that my family got a curse in our lives. My grandparents' three children are all divorced, and my grandfather died early. My father also died of illness in middle age. I was struggling in a distant city, and my grandmother could only live with an elderly uncle with poor conditions.
Holding her great-grandson, my grandmother cooked with her granddaughter-in-law, talking and laughing. She was very happy and grateful because her years of prayer had finally become a reality.
- Translated by Oliver Zuo
Story: Freelance Preacher Gets Blessing of Marriage After Turning to God
