Guangzhou Guangxiao Church continued the online parenting interview to share the wisdom in parenting children in different stages of life.
Live-streamed on June 1st, Gaofeng Wang, a father who has two sons, was invited as a special guest to share in the third session of the "I Love My Family" program.
Preacher Donghua Zhou, the host of the episode “Children's Heart and Parents' Love", talked about the conflicts and challenges parents face in parenting education, such as authoritarian parents ignoring the child's point of view; parents having overly high expectations for their children, with children being immature and failing to meet their expectations; parents paying much attention to their children's academic achievement and at the same time hoping their children develop in various fields; and finally, parents and children having different life views.
Zhou then explained four parenting styles: authoritative parenting, authoritarian style, permissive model, and uninvolved parenting. Authoritative parenting is the best, he added
Through his experience, Wang talked about how Christian parents educate their children. He shared two aspects: "four stages of parental influence on a child" and "six dimensions of a child's growth".
Parents have different influences on children along with their growth.
The first stage is 0-5 years of age. At this stage, children are mainly influenced by the mother. Children receive 80% of their sense of security and intimacy from the mother.
The second stage is 6-11 years of age. During this period of time, children are mainly influenced by the father, and the mother should hand over this stage to the father and help the father to influence the children.
In the third stage covering 12-18 years of age, children are influenced by peers at this stage, and parental influence drops to 20%.
The fourth stage is 19-21 years of age. The father takes the main role again, guiding the child in their thinking and exploring the meaning of life.
Children grow in six dimensions: spiritual, physical, social, environmental, intellectual, and emotional. Parents need to help their children grow in these six dimensions and establish a correct view of values.
“Helping children grow in six dimensions is easier said than done. But at least do not hurt the child. Even a negative word will have a great impact on them,” Wang suggested. He also reminded parents that they can only have an influence on their children for a limited time and that they should take the time, actively guide their children, teach them by words and deeds, help them to have correct views, and at the same time discipline them properly.
In this regard, Zhou talked about "the funnel theory of parenting". The age of the child is proportional to the freedom given to them. Children need to be trained and disciplined at an early age. For example, between 0-5 years of age, the preschool stage, children have very limited freedom and they need to learn rules and regulations which cultivate their sense of security and responsibility.
“Children are a heritage from the Lord, not parents’ private property. From a higher perspective, parents are entrusted to raise their children. Parents are not only the child’s biological father and mother but also their first teachers. The important thing ofr parenting is to introduce God to their children and let them learn to fear God,” he concluded.
- Translated by Katherine Guo
广州基督光孝堂举办了《我爱我家》线上访谈活动第三期“子女心·父母情”。
6月1日，特邀育儿方面有丰富经验的嘉宾王高峰弟兄做客分享。本期活动由周东华宣教师主持，他说，王弟兄目前有两个儿子，大儿子五年级，小儿子三年级。
分享一开始，周教师就谈了亲子教育中，实际面对的冲突和挑战。如：父母过于权威而忽视儿女自主的挑战；父母对儿女的期待过高，而儿女不成熟，达不到父母的期望；父母过度关注子女学业，追逐多元化发展；父母与子女之间人生价值观存在差异的挑战等。
接着，周教师分享了四大亲子教育模式:民主权威型,权威专制型,溺爱型, 放任忽略型，其中最好的就是民主权威型。
基督徒父母如何进行孩子的教育，王弟兄，通过亲身经验以实例，从“孩子成长中，父母对其影响力的四个阶段”和“孩子成长的六个维度”两方面来展开分享。
孩子成长中，父母对其影响力的四个阶段。
第一阶段：0-5岁，受母亲影响力阶段。孩子80%的安全感亲密感来源于母亲。
第二阶段：6-11岁，受父亲影响力阶段。母亲应把养育孩子的主权交给父亲，配合父亲在背后发挥影响力。
第三阶段：12-18岁，受同伴影响力阶段。父母的影响力降到20%。
第四阶段：19-21岁，又回到父亲影响力阶段。他们会思考人生的意义和贡献。
通过孩子成长的六个维度:灵性，身体,社交,环境,智力,情感，帮助孩子建立正确的价值观。
“六个维度，说起来容易行起来困难，但至少要做到，不要伤害孩子。哪怕是一句负面的话，都会对他们造成极大影响。”王弟兄劝勉到。他也提醒父母，家长对孩子的影响力是有阶段限制的，父母应该抓住这个时期，积极引导孩子，做到言传身教，帮助孩子建立正确的观念，同时也给予孩子正确的管教。
对此，周教师，讲到“漏斗与管教的原理”：孩子的年龄大小与自由空间是成正比的。与孩子设立界限要是从小开始的。例如，0-5岁，学龄前阶段要有许多规矩，限制很小的自由空间，规矩培养出安全感、责任感。
最后，周教师劝勉：“孩子是耶和华所赐的产业，不是私有财产。从更高角度来说我们是受托来管理这个孩子，不仅是孩子生身的父母，还是第一任老师。重要的是把他们带到主的面前，懂得敬畏神。
广州基督教光孝堂《我爱我家》线上访谈活动第三期：“子女心·父母情”
Guangzhou Guangxiao Church continued the online parenting interview to share the wisdom in parenting children in different stages of life.
Live-streamed on June 1st, Gaofeng Wang, a father who has two sons, was invited as a special guest to share in the third session of the "I Love My Family" program.
Preacher Donghua Zhou, the host of the episode “Children's Heart and Parents' Love", talked about the conflicts and challenges parents face in parenting education, such as authoritarian parents ignoring the child's point of view; parents having overly high expectations for their children, with children being immature and failing to meet their expectations; parents paying much attention to their children's academic achievement and at the same time hoping their children develop in various fields; and finally, parents and children having different life views.
Zhou then explained four parenting styles: authoritative parenting, authoritarian style, permissive model, and uninvolved parenting. Authoritative parenting is the best, he added
Through his experience, Wang talked about how Christian parents educate their children. He shared two aspects: "four stages of parental influence on a child" and "six dimensions of a child's growth".
Parents have different influences on children along with their growth.
The first stage is 0-5 years of age. At this stage, children are mainly influenced by the mother. Children receive 80% of their sense of security and intimacy from the mother.
The second stage is 6-11 years of age. During this period of time, children are mainly influenced by the father, and the mother should hand over this stage to the father and help the father to influence the children.
In the third stage covering 12-18 years of age, children are influenced by peers at this stage, and parental influence drops to 20%.
The fourth stage is 19-21 years of age. The father takes the main role again, guiding the child in their thinking and exploring the meaning of life.
Children grow in six dimensions: spiritual, physical, social, environmental, intellectual, and emotional. Parents need to help their children grow in these six dimensions and establish a correct view of values.
“Helping children grow in six dimensions is easier said than done. But at least do not hurt the child. Even a negative word will have a great impact on them,” Wang suggested. He also reminded parents that they can only have an influence on their children for a limited time and that they should take the time, actively guide their children, teach them by words and deeds, help them to have correct views, and at the same time discipline them properly.
In this regard, Zhou talked about "the funnel theory of parenting". The age of the child is proportional to the freedom given to them. Children need to be trained and disciplined at an early age. For example, between 0-5 years of age, the preschool stage, children have very limited freedom and they need to learn rules and regulations which cultivate their sense of security and responsibility.
“Children are a heritage from the Lord, not parents’ private property. From a higher perspective, parents are entrusted to raise their children. Parents are not only the child’s biological father and mother but also their first teachers. The important thing ofr parenting is to introduce God to their children and let them learn to fear God,” he concluded.
- Translated by Katherine Guo
Online Parenting Interview: 'The Important Thing of Parenting Is to Introduce God to Their Children'
