According to statistics from numerous divorce cases, financial issues have become one of the top three problems leading to marital breakdowns. Recently, Rev. Jeffry T. Lee shared a lecture on how to manage money in marriage in an online program called "Second Generation Christian Classroom."
Dr. Lee comes from a family of pastors and is a third-generation Christian who moved to the United States during high school. He served as the director of the Gospel Operation International in the United States and is currently the director of the Family Ministry at Christian Communication Inc. of U.S.A. He frequently travels across Asia and North America, promoting second-generation education, and has authored books 100 Days of Blessing for Children and The Heart of Fathers Everywhere.
Dr. Lee identifies six financial issues that can lead to marital discord, one of which is the failure to combine incomes. The underlying problem is often a lack of trust between spouses, preventing them from merging their finances. Not combining finances can also result in inadequate planning for long-term goals such as home buying and retirement.
Another factor involves "power games," in which one person controls the use and distribution of money in the family. Couples often face four scenarios in these power dynamics: one spouse earns significantly more than the other; both want to work but one is unemployed; one is employed while the other is not; or one comes from a wealthy family while the other does not.
Deciding whether and when to have children is also a crucial problem. Besides the cost, couples need to consider whether they should reduce work hours or sacrifice their careers to raise children. Couples should communicate, adjust, and change their relationship dynamics, retirement plans, or lifestyle when the family structure changes or they move through different stages.
He also shares other issues, such as carrying debts, ignoring personality differences, being cautious when lending money to relatives, and managing changes in the extended family.
One of Dr. Lee’s suggestions for handling financial issues is to practice generosity and avoid being calculative. Once basic principles for managing money are agreed upon with the spouse, they can give as much as they can, especially in supporting elderly parents or helping the poor and weak. Building trust is essential, not only between the couple when financial management or decisions go awry, but also in believing that God will provide for the family.
It is important to communicate with empathy, increase transparency with compromise, and seek professional help. Dr. Lee explains that financial disagreements are normal, but if handled properly, they can be transformed into opportunities for growth.
Additionally, he offers practical advice for family finances, such as teaching children about money, budgeting, and resolving debt. Investment is also a method to consider; among financial investments, investing in a child’s education is invaluable.
Dr. Lee urges couples to trust in God’s provision, maintain a heart of contentment and gratitude, and use money wisely.
- Translated by Abigail Wu
日前，李道宏博士来到“信二代课堂”的网络课堂中，以《金钱与婚姻——共同打造幸福的财务生活》为题进行分享。
李道宏博士出身于第三代传道人家庭，中学时期来美。他曾任“华人福音普传会”美国主任，现为美國福音證主協會家庭事工主任。李经常巡回亚洲与北美各地，推动关怀第二代教育，著有《为儿女祝福100天》、《天下爸爸心》等书籍。
李道宏博士认为，导致婚姻不和有六个财务问题，其中之一就是未能合并收入。未能合并收入的根本问题是，夫妻双方信任关系不够，不能放心地将财务合一。而且，不合并收入会导致家庭对长期目标，如购房、退休等计划的规划不足。
另一因素施行“权力游戏”指的是在家庭中，金钱的使用及分配的话语权由谁掌握。夫妻双方在做“权力游戏”时，常会面对四种情况：一方收入远高于另一方；双方都想有工作，但其中一方失业；一方有工作，但另一方没有；一方来自富裕家庭，而另一方不是。
另外，是否生孩子和什么时候生，也会成为一个很重要的财务决定。除了费用的问题，更要考虑由于生养孩子挤压了工作时间，是否需要在家工作或放弃事业来抚养孩子。夫妻应对家庭结构改变，或者家庭进入不同阶段时，都要一起沟通、调整和改变婚姻动态、退休规划或生活方式等与财务相关的问题。
其他因素还包括背负旧债、忽视个性差异、借钱给亲戚需小心决定、应对扩展家庭（extended family）的变化。
李博士提出正确处理金钱问题的应对之一是慷慨乐施，不要计较。与配偶达成金钱支配的基本原则之后，要尽自己所能地付出，尤其在赡养老人、支持贫弱等上。同时，要建立信心，夫妻之间哪怕出现了管理或决策的失误，也能包容与体谅；更要建立上帝会供应家庭的信心。
同时，夫妻之间要以同理心来进行沟通，提高透明度并尝试妥协，并且寻求专业帮助。他解释道，在金钱的问题上有分歧是很正常的，但如果能不逃避并利用分歧，就可以将分歧引发的争执转变成促进成长的机会。
此外，他提出了家庭财务的一些实用建议，例如，教导孩子认识金钱，做好财务预算和解决欠债，还包括投资。除了金钱的投资之外，最有价值的投资一个是孩子的教育。
李博士呼吁夫妻也需要信靠上帝的供应，带着知足与感恩的心，智慧地使用金钱。
讲座|李道宏博士：家庭中如何共同打造合一的财务生活？
According to statistics from numerous divorce cases, financial issues have become one of the top three problems leading to marital breakdowns. Recently, Rev. Jeffry T. Lee shared a lecture on how to manage money in marriage in an online program called "Second Generation Christian Classroom."
Dr. Lee comes from a family of pastors and is a third-generation Christian who moved to the United States during high school. He served as the director of the Gospel Operation International in the United States and is currently the director of the Family Ministry at Christian Communication Inc. of U.S.A. He frequently travels across Asia and North America, promoting second-generation education, and has authored books 100 Days of Blessing for Children and The Heart of Fathers Everywhere.
Dr. Lee identifies six financial issues that can lead to marital discord, one of which is the failure to combine incomes. The underlying problem is often a lack of trust between spouses, preventing them from merging their finances. Not combining finances can also result in inadequate planning for long-term goals such as home buying and retirement.
Another factor involves "power games," in which one person controls the use and distribution of money in the family. Couples often face four scenarios in these power dynamics: one spouse earns significantly more than the other; both want to work but one is unemployed; one is employed while the other is not; or one comes from a wealthy family while the other does not.
Deciding whether and when to have children is also a crucial problem. Besides the cost, couples need to consider whether they should reduce work hours or sacrifice their careers to raise children. Couples should communicate, adjust, and change their relationship dynamics, retirement plans, or lifestyle when the family structure changes or they move through different stages.
He also shares other issues, such as carrying debts, ignoring personality differences, being cautious when lending money to relatives, and managing changes in the extended family.
One of Dr. Lee’s suggestions for handling financial issues is to practice generosity and avoid being calculative. Once basic principles for managing money are agreed upon with the spouse, they can give as much as they can, especially in supporting elderly parents or helping the poor and weak. Building trust is essential, not only between the couple when financial management or decisions go awry, but also in believing that God will provide for the family.
It is important to communicate with empathy, increase transparency with compromise, and seek professional help. Dr. Lee explains that financial disagreements are normal, but if handled properly, they can be transformed into opportunities for growth.
Additionally, he offers practical advice for family finances, such as teaching children about money, budgeting, and resolving debt. Investment is also a method to consider; among financial investments, investing in a child’s education is invaluable.
Dr. Lee urges couples to trust in God’s provision, maintain a heart of contentment and gratitude, and use money wisely.
- Translated by Abigail Wu
Pastor Advises on Unifying Family Finances for Marital Harmony
