Editor's note: Huiru (pseudonym) is the wife of a pastor from Guangdong Province who was born in the 1980s. She worked in a company for four years after graduating from college and then entered the church from part-time service to full-time ministry. In the course of her ministry together with her husband, she always made it a priority to rely on God and be able to renew her strength in all situations. Calling herself the glorious helper of his husband, mother, and teacher of her children, Huiru shared with the Christian Times, an online Christian newspaper in China, how she can serve the Lord with all her heart in these areas and still feel confident that she is on the right path.
Christian Times: How do you think women can improve their sense of confidence and accomplishment?
Huiru: Christian women should try to find a sense of belonging in their relationship with God, rather than a desire for social or self-imposed judgment.
Most of all, we should believe that God values us and that He values us more than pearls. All sisters should seek and obey God's teachings. When we humbly pray to God, He will give us all the wisdom, discernment, and insight we need.
Before I got married, I worked in the company for about four years as the boss's secretary after graduation. Every time I got back to my office, I prayed first in my office to God, and I entrusted my day into his hands. I changed from a humble girl who just graduated to a respected employee.
When I first got involved in church ministry, I led a small gathering. Its members are either graduate students or doctoral students and are engaged in scientific research or education. I did not do it on my own but sought God so that I might receive true power and their testimony.
In addition, if we do things for the sake of glory, it is easy to feel frustrated. Don't expect praise from people, but praise from God, because in the end we will face Him.
Christian Times: What positive meaning and value do you find in your position as the wife of a pastor?
Huiru: Other people would look at me with different expectations, which are quite different from what they expect from a common sister. The believers expect me to be an example of their faith.
Wives of pastors are also burdened with the expectation of being matched as pastors. I also have my moments of imbalance when I can't juggle my ministry and family affairs.
I couldn't serve my parents and parents-in-law well because I'm busy with work at the church. Sometimes we care more about our church elders than we do about our biological parents. The children, who were free to play on Saturday and Sunday, often follow us everywhere we go.
It may be hard, but God never lets us lack anything. At the same time, as the wife of a pastor, you will gain a lot of trust from the believers. When I spoke of the needs of the church, the faithful would rise up and support my work.
Christian-times: As the wife of a pastor and a mother raising children, what would you say to your single and married readers?
Huiru: When it comes to my advice, I think the most important thing is to do everything according to our pace.
If you are single, you can use your talents and serve more freely. At the same time, you can prepare your faith, prepare to be a wife, and prepare to be a mother.
Married sisters should learn how to be glorified helpers to their husbands. If I have children, I will learn how to raise them and how to accompany them as they grow up. I have three children, and the youngest is two and a half years old. I think my mother's company and guidance were very important to me when I was young, so I will make some time available to accompany my children. I may sometimes fall short of what believers hope for, but I will be honest with them about my limitations.
We also have to follow God's arrangement. God had arranged the time when He made everything. It's the same with us. He had arranged when we would get married when we would have kids when we could have a second career, when we would participate in our ministry again, and when we could take advantage of our talents again. In fact, God had already arranged the time for us. We need to learn to be patient and wait on Christ.
- Translated by Nicolas Cao
一位来自广东的80后师母，她大学毕业后曾在职场工作过4年之久，随后从兼职到全职进入到教会事奉。在她与牧师事奉教会的过程中，她总是把依靠神作为头等大事，并在各样处境中可以重新得力。惠茹（化名）作为牧师荣耀的帮助者、孩子们的妈妈和老师，她和中国一网络基督教报纸基督时报分享如何在这些领域中尽心尽力地事奉主，又能拥有合乎中道的自信感。
基督时报：您觉得女性如何能够提高自信感和成就感？
惠茹：基督徒女性应努力在与上帝关系中找到归属感，而不是渴望社会或者是自我赋予的某种评价。
最重要的是，我们要相信神看我们为宝贵，神他看我的价值远胜于珍珠的。
姐妹们要去寻求和遵从顺服神的教导。当我们谦卑祈求神的时候，他也会把各样丰富的智慧、分辨力、洞察力都会赐给我们的。
我在结婚前，毕业后大概有三四年的时间在公司里面做老总的秘书。每次我刚回到办公室的时候，我在办公室里先祷告神，我将一天的时间交托在祂的手中。从刚刚毕业容易被轻看的丫头，最后成为被他们尊敬的员工。
我开始参与教会侍奉的时候，我带领的是一个小的聚会点。其成员不是研究生就是博士，不是搞科研的，要么就是做教育的。我不是凭着我自己做，而是去寻求神，这样我可以得到真正的能力和他们的见证。
另外如果我们做事情的动机是为了得荣耀，这样人很容易有挫败感。不要期待得到人的称赞，而是要得到神的称赞，因为最后都是要交账的。
基督时报：你觉得师母这个位置带给你积极的意义和价值是什么？
惠茹：他人看我的眼光有不一样的期许，跟一普通的姊妹是不一样的。会众期待你要成为他们信仰的榜样。
师母同样是背负着作为牧师配搭的期待。我也会有失衡的时候，有时无法把教会事奉和家庭都兼顾到。
对父母，对长辈做儿女也会有一些亏欠的地方，因为我不少的精力都是放在教会里面。有的时候关怀我们教会的长辈们比关心自己的亲生父母是更多的。对孩子们来说，她们周六周日本来可以自由玩耍，但是常常跟着我们到处跑，也有一些亏欠他们。
虽然比较辛苦，但神从来没有让我们缺乏过。同时，作为师母，会收获到很多会众给你的信任。当我提出教会发展上的需要的时候，信徒都起来支持我的工作。、
基督时报：您作为妻子、师母，又是养育孩子的妈妈，对于这些单身的或者已婚的读者，您有什么对她们说的话吗？
惠茹： 谈到我的劝勉，我觉得第一是，凡事要按照我们的地步行。
如果你是单身的姊妹，可以发挥才干，更清晰的去侍奉。同时可以预备自己信仰，预备未来成为妻子，预备成为母亲。
已婚的姊妹要学习怎么样去做丈夫的荣耀的帮助者。如果有孩子了，要去学习如何养育子女，学习陪伴我的孩子去成长。我有三个孩子，最小的2岁半。我觉得母亲的陪伴和教导是很重要的，所以我也会有一些平衡。 我会有时把信众的期待稍稍放下坦白的跟他们分享我能力有限。
我们也要按着神的时间行，神也是在他创造万物的时候，他有各样的定时。我们也是一样，我们什么时候结婚，我们什么时候有孩子。我们什么时候可以再次有第二份事业，再次参与我的事工，再重新的发挥我的才干。其实，都有神的时间，我们需要去学习在基督里的忍耐和等候。
妇女节专题（三） 一华南教会师母分享：如何按照自己的地步“行在神的旨意中？
Editor's note: Huiru (pseudonym) is the wife of a pastor from Guangdong Province who was born in the 1980s. She worked in a company for four years after graduating from college and then entered the church from part-time service to full-time ministry. In the course of her ministry together with her husband, she always made it a priority to rely on God and be able to renew her strength in all situations. Calling herself the glorious helper of his husband, mother, and teacher of her children, Huiru shared with the Christian Times, an online Christian newspaper in China, how she can serve the Lord with all her heart in these areas and still feel confident that she is on the right path.
Christian Times: How do you think women can improve their sense of confidence and accomplishment?
Huiru: Christian women should try to find a sense of belonging in their relationship with God, rather than a desire for social or self-imposed judgment.
Most of all, we should believe that God values us and that He values us more than pearls. All sisters should seek and obey God's teachings. When we humbly pray to God, He will give us all the wisdom, discernment, and insight we need.
Before I got married, I worked in the company for about four years as the boss's secretary after graduation. Every time I got back to my office, I prayed first in my office to God, and I entrusted my day into his hands. I changed from a humble girl who just graduated to a respected employee.
When I first got involved in church ministry, I led a small gathering. Its members are either graduate students or doctoral students and are engaged in scientific research or education. I did not do it on my own but sought God so that I might receive true power and their testimony.
In addition, if we do things for the sake of glory, it is easy to feel frustrated. Don't expect praise from people, but praise from God, because in the end we will face Him.
Christian Times: What positive meaning and value do you find in your position as the wife of a pastor?
Huiru: Other people would look at me with different expectations, which are quite different from what they expect from a common sister. The believers expect me to be an example of their faith.
Wives of pastors are also burdened with the expectation of being matched as pastors. I also have my moments of imbalance when I can't juggle my ministry and family affairs.
I couldn't serve my parents and parents-in-law well because I'm busy with work at the church. Sometimes we care more about our church elders than we do about our biological parents. The children, who were free to play on Saturday and Sunday, often follow us everywhere we go.
It may be hard, but God never lets us lack anything. At the same time, as the wife of a pastor, you will gain a lot of trust from the believers. When I spoke of the needs of the church, the faithful would rise up and support my work.
Christian-times: As the wife of a pastor and a mother raising children, what would you say to your single and married readers?
Huiru: When it comes to my advice, I think the most important thing is to do everything according to our pace.
If you are single, you can use your talents and serve more freely. At the same time, you can prepare your faith, prepare to be a wife, and prepare to be a mother.
Married sisters should learn how to be glorified helpers to their husbands. If I have children, I will learn how to raise them and how to accompany them as they grow up. I have three children, and the youngest is two and a half years old. I think my mother's company and guidance were very important to me when I was young, so I will make some time available to accompany my children. I may sometimes fall short of what believers hope for, but I will be honest with them about my limitations.
We also have to follow God's arrangement. God had arranged the time when He made everything. It's the same with us. He had arranged when we would get married when we would have kids when we could have a second career, when we would participate in our ministry again, and when we could take advantage of our talents again. In fact, God had already arranged the time for us. We need to learn to be patient and wait on Christ.
- Translated by Nicolas Cao
Wife of Pastor: How to 'Walk in God's Will' According to Our Pace?
