After God’s calling came upon him, Pastor C engaged in pastoring male members, gaining much rewarding experience. During his 20-year pastoral ministry in south China, about two-thirds of the people under his care are married male believers. Recently, the Christian Times, an online Chinese Christian newspaper, interviewed him and summarized some of his pastoral experiences and insights, hoping to bring some inspiration and reflection to pastors and church staff.
The pastor adopts a dynamic and diverse way to lead male Christians in gathering. In other words, each participant is an independent speaker in the service when people pray together, read the Bible, praise God, and share personal testimonies and insights from the Word. He also provides courses for them about marriage relationships, parenting, and children's education, encouraging married believers to strive to be good husbands and fathers in their families and single ones to participate in church service and take pre-marriage courses.
One of Pastor C's visions for male members under his care is that they may become good examples in different areas of life: "good husbands who love their wives, good fathers who love their children, good sons who care for their parents, good employees with the sense of responsibility, good bosses, and good helpers for pastors".
After leading male believers for many years, Pastor C concluded, "Men’s problems are largely from the workplace, family, and personal life, mostly about money, power, and sex. And pastors are responsible to help them learn to discern, reject and transcend these problems."
He believes that the most important thing is a male member's relationship with God who can lead him to repent since it is impossible for a man who does not know God to change his heart.
He also confessed, “Leading female Christians is much easier than leading male ones who often come to the church with arrogant attitude to rationally judge the pastor before him. He evaluates the pastor’s ability to solve his problems, based on which he will choose whether or not to follow the pastor’s guidance. Therefore, those who lead male believers have to become leaders themselves first, with practice in the Bible's teaching. No man will follow the guidance of a pastor failing to show the power of faith in his life with the lack of spiritual influence. Though pastors’ authority is given by God, what matters more is their insights and abilities to solve people’s problems.”
“As for leading rational male Christians who love to give suggestions, I choose to delegate authority to him and give him the opportunity to lead freely. If he succeeds, we will encourage him with applause. If he fails, he will learn to be humble with reflection,” the pastor said.
"And for those male ones who love complaining, first of all, I need to know the underlying reasons for their complaints. Normally, these men lack a good sense of security as they failed to receive enough love. Then, as their pastor, I will help them realize their problems and gain a sense of security at a slow pace through continuous prayer, communication, companionship, and substantial help. When they receive encouragement and support through fellowship with others in the church, and fulfillment in God’s love, their complaining thoughts and words will gradually disappear. Eventually, such male members will apologize to their wives in their family, promoting harmony among family members," he added.
- Translated by Alvin Zhou
C牧者在南方一教会事奉20年多年，被主呼召和使用后，他就专职做弟兄人群的牧养工作。因此，他在牧养弟兄方面有着丰富的阅历与经验。他带领的人中，大约三分之二是已婚的弟兄。近来，基督时报对他进行了采访，总结了他的一些牧养经验与看见，盼望借此给牧者同工带来一些启发和思考。（==当summary）
C牧者在带领弟兄聚会的时候，他所采用是动态化和多样化的聚会形式。即每个参与聚会中的人，都需要成为独立的分享人，大家聚在一起有祷告、读经、赞美、见证、分享从话语中得到亮光等多种形式。他也会为大家的婚姻关系、亲子关系、孩童教育提供辅导课程。鼓励已婚的弟兄，在丈夫和爸爸的角色中成为生活中的见证，也激励未婚的弟兄参与教会服事和学习婚前辅导课程。
C牧者带领弟兄聚会的一个核心愿景是，把弟兄塑造成为五好男人：“即爱妻子的好丈夫、有爱心的好爸爸、有孝心的好儿子、有责任心的好员工、好老板、成为牧师的好帮手。”
在多年牧养弟兄的过程中，C牧者总结说：“男人遇到的问题，不外乎家庭、职场与个人生活的三个领域，也都离不开三个问题：钱、权、色。作为牧者就需要帮助他们在这些方面学会分辨，学会拒绝，学会超越。”
他认为，弟兄与上帝的关系是最为重要的，当弟兄不认识上帝的时候，是不可能悔改的。认识上帝，弟兄的心才会改变 。
他也坦言说：“牧养弟兄要比姊妹难很多，因为一个男人来了教会，他通常是很骄傲的，他习惯先用理性分析这个牧者。你这个牧者能否解决我的问题，你的水平是在我之上还是之下？因此，牧养弟兄的人，自己要先成为领袖，自己要先去实践圣经的教导。自己的生命没有说服力，没有属灵的影响力，是不会有人接受他的牧养的。权柄是神给的，但是影响力更多的是人本身解决事情的能力和洞察力积累的结果。”
“理性的弟兄来到教会，很容易给牧者提很多建议，那我就放权给他，给他机会和空间，让他自由地去做。如果他能做到，就会被鼓励被大家见证。如果不能够做到，他自己就会反省，他就学会谦卑。‘’
“对于抱怨类型的弟兄，首先，我要知道他抱怨的深层次原因。这样的人，第一个是没有足够的安全感，第二个是没有得到足够的爱。然后，作为牧者，帮助他发现这两个方面的问题，靠着持续地祷告，交流，陪伴以及提供实质性的帮助等让他慢慢找到安全感。在团契和教会里得到鼓励和支持，在上帝的爱里得到满足，那么他的抱怨的想法和言语会逐渐消失。最后，这样的弟兄回到家里是会给老婆道歉的，家庭也会恢复和睦。” C牧者补充说。
经验｜华南一牧者分享多年服事心得：如何牧养弟兄群体？
After God’s calling came upon him, Pastor C engaged in pastoring male members, gaining much rewarding experience. During his 20-year pastoral ministry in south China, about two-thirds of the people under his care are married male believers. Recently, the Christian Times, an online Chinese Christian newspaper, interviewed him and summarized some of his pastoral experiences and insights, hoping to bring some inspiration and reflection to pastors and church staff.
The pastor adopts a dynamic and diverse way to lead male Christians in gathering. In other words, each participant is an independent speaker in the service when people pray together, read the Bible, praise God, and share personal testimonies and insights from the Word. He also provides courses for them about marriage relationships, parenting, and children's education, encouraging married believers to strive to be good husbands and fathers in their families and single ones to participate in church service and take pre-marriage courses.
One of Pastor C's visions for male members under his care is that they may become good examples in different areas of life: "good husbands who love their wives, good fathers who love their children, good sons who care for their parents, good employees with the sense of responsibility, good bosses, and good helpers for pastors".
After leading male believers for many years, Pastor C concluded, "Men’s problems are largely from the workplace, family, and personal life, mostly about money, power, and sex. And pastors are responsible to help them learn to discern, reject and transcend these problems."
He believes that the most important thing is a male member's relationship with God who can lead him to repent since it is impossible for a man who does not know God to change his heart.
He also confessed, “Leading female Christians is much easier than leading male ones who often come to the church with arrogant attitude to rationally judge the pastor before him. He evaluates the pastor’s ability to solve his problems, based on which he will choose whether or not to follow the pastor’s guidance. Therefore, those who lead male believers have to become leaders themselves first, with practice in the Bible's teaching. No man will follow the guidance of a pastor failing to show the power of faith in his life with the lack of spiritual influence. Though pastors’ authority is given by God, what matters more is their insights and abilities to solve people’s problems.”
“As for leading rational male Christians who love to give suggestions, I choose to delegate authority to him and give him the opportunity to lead freely. If he succeeds, we will encourage him with applause. If he fails, he will learn to be humble with reflection,” the pastor said.
"And for those male ones who love complaining, first of all, I need to know the underlying reasons for their complaints. Normally, these men lack a good sense of security as they failed to receive enough love. Then, as their pastor, I will help them realize their problems and gain a sense of security at a slow pace through continuous prayer, communication, companionship, and substantial help. When they receive encouragement and support through fellowship with others in the church, and fulfillment in God’s love, their complaining thoughts and words will gradually disappear. Eventually, such male members will apologize to their wives in their family, promoting harmony among family members," he added.
- Translated by Alvin Zhou
Pastor Shares How to Nurture Male Believers: 'Their Relationships With God Are the Most Important Thing'
