The issue of older singles is not only a societal problem but also a concern for the church. Liu, a Christian man born in the 1980s, has settled in western China and currently works as a counselor on a Christian dating platform, dedicating years to serving the community of single Christians.
Building a matrimonial platform through youth activities
Liu embraced Christianity in 2006, but his involvement in the church was not very active initially. In 2011, following a failed romantic relationship, he began seeking help from the church more frequently, with his faith growing strong in the truth. Since the second half of 2012, he has been actively engaged in church ministries, organizing activities for the youth such as studies, travels, and dinners.
In 2013, Liu and several Christians planned the singles fellowship—more precisely, a Christian marriage introduction platform. They frequently organized activities that appealed to young people, such as mountain climbing, dancing, sports, and cooking. Initially, members of their church attended, followed by believers from numerous other churches.
After 2015, within this fellowship, several people entered into marriage each year. Liu himself found his life partner through fellowship activities, stepping into the realm of marriage.
The significance of the Christian relationship platform
Organizing such activities requires a considerable amount of energy and time and does not generate profits. However, after discussions with staff members, Liu persevered in this endeavor.
He believes that personally speaking, it is meaningful that individuals can not only pick their life partner but also receive protection, guidance, and timely assistance through those activities.
Liu explained, "For the church, it is also a good thing. After marriage, believers are willing to continue participating in ministries and gradually becoming the core workers, without resistance from their Christian spouses to attending services and ministering." He knows that many believers have previously stopped serving or even attending gatherings due to their non-Christian partners.
In terms of society, Christian families are formed with guidance from professional teachers to develop the right perspectives on marriage and family.
Challenges
This non-profit organization receives support from some churches and opposition from others. Some churches misunderstand them, thinking they make money through activities. However, the modest fees collected during each event often fall short of covering the overall expenses. The staff have also self-taught some skills to undertake relatively flexible, time-saving jobs to support their activities and sustain their families.
Liu stated that the ministry must be run by full-time workers instead of part-time in the long run. In addition, there have been difficulties along the journey: unsupportive churches fear people from different churches stealing sheep; participants complain about mismatches among introduced individuals, and believers may blame them if marriage conflicts arise. There are not many believers entering into marriage through their efforts.
Focus on meaning, not results
Liu finds a sense of accomplishment when he sees believers forming intimate connections in the fellowship. Besides providing a platform, the ministry also offers diverse services, including pre-marital counseling, psychological counseling, fashion advice for Christian men struggling with dressing, assistance for introverted believers in communicating with the opposite sex, and even wedding planning.
He also offers two pieces of advice for single Christians. One of Liu's experiences is that "those who are willing to accept guidance and humbly listen to advice often find suitable partners more quickly."
Furthermore, he encourages older single Christian individuals to participate in activities that allow more people to recognize them. "No matter who you are, there will always be someone who appreciates and likes you."
- Translated by Abigail Wu
大龄单身问题，既是社会问题，也是教会的问题。刘老师是一位已婚80后弟兄，在西部一城市定居，现在是一家主内婚恋平台的老师，多年来为教会内大龄单身群体服务。
青年团契到婚恋平台
刘老师2006年信主，但当时去教会并不是很积极。2011年，刘老师恋爱失败后开始频繁去教会寻求帮助，之后信仰不断扎根。2012年下半年之后常常热心参与教会服事，开始组织教会中的青年人一起学习、出游、吃饭。
2013年开始，包括刘老师在内的几位基督徒策划了一个单身团契，准确地说是一个主内婚介平台。他们常组织年轻人喜欢的活动，诸如爬山，跳舞，运动、烹饪。最开始是本教会的成员参加，后面很多其他教会的信徒也来加入其中。
2015年之后，在这个团契里，每年陆续有几对小家庭被建立起来。刘老师自己也是在团契活动中与他的妻子牵手步入婚姻的殿堂。
主内婚恋平台的意义
其实，组织这种活动需要耗费很多精力和时间，而且并不能盈利。但刘老师和同工们商量之后，还是坚持要做这件事。
他认为，对个人来说，既解决了单身青年的人生大事，又能让他们在这个过程中得到保护、指导和及时的帮助。
对于教会来说，组建家庭后的弟兄和姐妹没有家庭的拖累（比如不信的一方抵挡信的一方去教会等），大部分也都愿意继续参与教会的服事，逐渐成为教会的核心同工。之前有好多服事的信徒由于婚姻问题而停止服事，甚至停止聚会的。
对社会来说，专业的老师辅导大家扭转错误的价值观，婚姻观，家庭观，帮助尽快组建家庭。
组织主内婚恋平台的难处
这个以基督徒个人的名义做的公益组织，有些教会支持，有些教会也会反对。有些教会还会误解他们，以为他们靠做活动赚钱。但是其实每次活动所收的一点茶水费，往往是不够支付整体活动的支出的。他们也自学了一些其他的技术，选择做一些相对自由，不会占用太多时间的工作，以支持组织活动和供养家庭。
刘老师表示，这个工作必须有全职的人来做。另外他们遇到一些困难，比如有些教会不支持，害怕不同教会的人“抢羊”；一些参与其中的信徒，也会因为介绍的对象不符合自己的要求而埋怨他们；每一年，因为他们而走进婚姻的信徒人数也不是很高；偶尔婚后矛盾，会把责任推给他们……
坚持的秘诀：只看意义，不看结果
刘老师每每看到有弟兄姐妹在他们的努力下牵手成功，他还是非常有成就感。他们不只是搭建平台，还提供很多服务。比如提供婚前辅导、心理咨询，给予弟兄服装和发型建议、帮助内向的信徒与异性交流；甚至策划婚礼。
对单身弟兄姐妹的两点建议
刘老师对于解决大龄单身婚姻问题的经验之一是，“愿意接受辅导的，愿意谦卑听建议的，往往能够更快找到合适的男女朋友。”
此外，刘老师也劝勉大龄单身基督徒要多参加活动，让更多人认识自己。 “因为无论你是什么样的人，总有人会欣赏你，喜欢你。”
专访| 西部一青年团契同工：对教会中大龄单身问题的思考与实践
The issue of older singles is not only a societal problem but also a concern for the church. Liu, a Christian man born in the 1980s, has settled in western China and currently works as a counselor on a Christian dating platform, dedicating years to serving the community of single Christians.
Building a matrimonial platform through youth activities
Liu embraced Christianity in 2006, but his involvement in the church was not very active initially. In 2011, following a failed romantic relationship, he began seeking help from the church more frequently, with his faith growing strong in the truth. Since the second half of 2012, he has been actively engaged in church ministries, organizing activities for the youth such as studies, travels, and dinners.
In 2013, Liu and several Christians planned the singles fellowship—more precisely, a Christian marriage introduction platform. They frequently organized activities that appealed to young people, such as mountain climbing, dancing, sports, and cooking. Initially, members of their church attended, followed by believers from numerous other churches.
After 2015, within this fellowship, several people entered into marriage each year. Liu himself found his life partner through fellowship activities, stepping into the realm of marriage.
The significance of the Christian relationship platform
Organizing such activities requires a considerable amount of energy and time and does not generate profits. However, after discussions with staff members, Liu persevered in this endeavor.
He believes that personally speaking, it is meaningful that individuals can not only pick their life partner but also receive protection, guidance, and timely assistance through those activities.
Liu explained, "For the church, it is also a good thing. After marriage, believers are willing to continue participating in ministries and gradually becoming the core workers, without resistance from their Christian spouses to attending services and ministering." He knows that many believers have previously stopped serving or even attending gatherings due to their non-Christian partners.
In terms of society, Christian families are formed with guidance from professional teachers to develop the right perspectives on marriage and family.
Challenges
This non-profit organization receives support from some churches and opposition from others. Some churches misunderstand them, thinking they make money through activities. However, the modest fees collected during each event often fall short of covering the overall expenses. The staff have also self-taught some skills to undertake relatively flexible, time-saving jobs to support their activities and sustain their families.
Liu stated that the ministry must be run by full-time workers instead of part-time in the long run. In addition, there have been difficulties along the journey: unsupportive churches fear people from different churches stealing sheep; participants complain about mismatches among introduced individuals, and believers may blame them if marriage conflicts arise. There are not many believers entering into marriage through their efforts.
Focus on meaning, not results
Liu finds a sense of accomplishment when he sees believers forming intimate connections in the fellowship. Besides providing a platform, the ministry also offers diverse services, including pre-marital counseling, psychological counseling, fashion advice for Christian men struggling with dressing, assistance for introverted believers in communicating with the opposite sex, and even wedding planning.
He also offers two pieces of advice for single Christians. One of Liu's experiences is that "those who are willing to accept guidance and humbly listen to advice often find suitable partners more quickly."
Furthermore, he encourages older single Christian individuals to participate in activities that allow more people to recognize them. "No matter who you are, there will always be someone who appreciates and likes you."
- Translated by Abigail Wu
Christian Matrimonial Platform Helps Older Singles Find Partners
