In the 1970s, Enya (pseudonym), a female pastor, was born into a Christian family in a small county in North China. Today, she and her husband lead a church that places a strong emphasis on relying on the Holy Spirit, receiving positive testimonials from neighboring congregations.
Recently, she shared her arduous journey and struggles on the path of personal growth and ministry spanning over two decades with an online Chinese Christian newspaper, the Christian Times.
Struggles and convictions after being filled with the Holy Spirit
Enya grew up in a Christian household and was sponsored by her hometown church to study theology for a year in 1997. In 1998, while serving in ministry, she encountered an elderly pastor filled with the Holy Spirit, inspiring her to learn the art of prayer under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Despite receiving the Holy Spirit and spiritual gifts, she encountered resistance and difficulty in her ministry, as some members of her hometown church struggled to accept Pentecostal Christians. She recalled, "Because I could speak in tongues during that period, I faced a negative attitude from my fellow servants. Some even accused me of being possessed by evil spirits."
In the midst of this painful struggle, she fervently prayed to God. The Holy Spirit communicated to her that this was the ministry that God intended for her. She subsequently relinquished her burdens and found solace and strength in her heart.
Reflection and transformation in ministry
In 1999, she married a pastor from a city in East China, and together they established a church. Throughout their journey in ministry, she came to realize that, as servants of Christ, personal renewal and purification through Christ's life were of greater significance than the ministry itself.
Her husband experienced a severe car accident but continued to worship God even in his extreme physical weakness. She learned that focusing on Jesus was more important than engaging in ministry, as the presence of the Lord satisfied those who served Him.
Pastor Enya recounted, "One day, my husband was involved in a serious car accident while transporting church workers to their lodgings. He spent an extended period in the intensive care unit."
"On one of those days, he suffered multiple fractures, including his nose, and had to undergo intestinal surgery. His nose had been bleeding for an hour or two before I arrived. During my presence, I continuously proclaimed God's word and prayed. After approximately half an hour, the nosebleed gradually ceased."
She continued, "Remarkably, it was a Sunday, and immediately after the nosebleed stopped, my husband said, 'Today is Sunday; let us worship the Lord together in the hospital.'"
"Through this car accident, I realized that cultivating a deep and intimate relationship with the Lord takes precedence over eloquent preaching and ministry."
She also reflected, saying, "I noticed that many staff members who loved the Lord left due to differences in opinions, and relationships with others were strained. When collective decisions aligned with her ideas, she obeyed. However, when they didn't, she refused to comply and eventually chose to depart. In prayer, God revealed to me, 'The ministry I desire is not rooted in meticulous planning.'"
She added, "Our ministry began to transform, shifting its focus towards seeking God's will in all matters and fostering an intimate relationship with the Lord. We embarked on a path where God stood at the center of our ministry, creating a familial culture. When individuals received visions and made decisions, we advocated for the involvement of the church family."
Enya emphasized, "When individuals receive revelations, we urge pastors to review and discern them while allowing others to express their reservations and concerns. Church workers are encouraged to lead lives guided by God because prophets should respect the apostles' examination. Let pastors make decisions and bear responsibility for the execution and implementation of these visions. Let us walk in unity and obedience within the framework of personal reception and authority."
Insights and visions after the COVID-19 pandemic
Three years after the pandemic, Enya's church realized the importance of nurturing a sense of commitment among believers toward the church. She observed that, in the past, congregants often fixated on spiritual conferences or sought-after renowned pastors. Consequently, she placed increased emphasis on small group gatherings, which deepened believers' connections with and dedication to the church.
"During the pandemic, through these small group gatherings, we frequently congregated with fellow Christians, thereby gaining a deeper insight into their lives. We concentrated on cultivating a familial culture within the church where fear and the concealment of weaknesses were discouraged. Recognizing that we are all sinners, we emphasized collective prayer, growth, and transformation," Pastor Enya added.
Challenges and struggles in pastoring
When addressing the current challenges and obstacles in pastoral work, Enya remarked, "Contemporary individuals grapple with constrained schedules and are often drawn to worldly entertainment and distractions. For example, many individuals work overtime, and some parents prioritize their children's education by enrolling them in various supplementary classes, which poses a challenge to their attendance at church."
"Faced with such circumstances, our church has placed greater emphasis on daily online spiritual meetings in the mornings. Simultaneously, we encourage church members to share their personal testimonies about how God has led them. As they experience God's grace, they begin to pursue a life of faith, causing their worldly pursuits to wane."
"For those engaged in the corporate world, we stress the importance of seeking God's wisdom and strategies in their professions. In our church, approximately half of the couples are both believers, while the other half consists of female believers whose husbands do not share their faith. The church regularly hosts themed gatherings for couples, extending invitations to non-believing spouses. Some individuals, during these couples' meetings, embark on their faith journey through courses focused on marital happiness."
Nurturing young leaders: releasing them, but with accountability
Pastor Enya elucidated, "As older-generation pastors, we recognize the necessity of gradually entrusting many ministry responsibilities to the younger generation. We adhere to the principle of relinquishing control without forsaking accountability. We are determined not to wait until our departure, akin to Eli and Moses, before allowing the next generation to assume leadership roles. Our guiding philosophy is to journey together as a family, with pastors from various generations serving side by side."
"While we are still present, we offer our support for young staff members to engage in ministry. Witnessing them excel in ministry brings us great pride. In our church, the gifts and anointing present in the older generation of pastors readily flow into the lives of the next generation through mutual respect."
Pastors should retain their essence
Enya emphasized that the former approach to ministry development in her previous church often revolved around people's desires and human plans, with divine inspiration taking a backseat. Once, God inspired her and some church workers to redirect their focus away from all-consuming ministry and instead seek God and His divine kingdom.
"Examining the Old Testament, it is evident that when the kings of Israel engaged in warfare without seeking God's guidance, relying solely on worldly wisdom and kings, their efforts ended in failure. However, when they assembled with the elders, sought God's revelations, and followed His guidance, they emerged victorious," she added.
"We are firm in our belief that whether pastoring a church or advancing a ministry, the path to success lies in companionship with God. God desires a collaborative effort where people work alongside Him to accomplish His ministry. We must initiate this journey by collectively seeking God's will, then obeying; the Holy Spirit will provide the guidance and direction needed."
- Translated by Abigail Wu
恩雅牧师（化名）是一位70后，出生在华北一小县城基督化家庭里。如今，她与丈夫所带领的教会是一间注重依靠圣灵的教会，也得到周边兄弟教会美好的见证。
近日，她向一网络中国基督教报纸 基督时报讲述了 在20多年的事奉生涯里，个人生命成长、事奉之路上的艰难与挣扎以及得胜的心路历程。
蒙恩路上 经历圣灵充满后的挣扎与确信
恩雅牧师从小跟家人一起信主。1997年，她被家乡教会派去读神学班一年。到了1998年，她在服事时，遇到一位被圣灵充满的老牧者，她便开始学习依靠圣灵去祷告。
虽领受了圣灵与恩赐，但是她在侍奉时充满了痛苦与挣扎，因为她家乡教会的文化里不能包容注重灵恩的基督徒。她分享说：“因为我那个时候可以说方言，所以当我在和大家一起配搭服事的时候，他们都在这方面持否认的态度。当时甚至有人说，我是被邪灵充满的。”
“我就在那个痛苦挣扎里面向上帝哭诉祷告。圣灵对我说：‘这是祂想要的事奉。’我当时就卸下重担，心中得到了安慰与力量。”
事奉经历中反思与转型
1999年，她与华东某市的一位牧师结婚，一起建立教会。在事奉历程中，她发现作为基督的仆人，比起所做的事奉本身，更重要是个人首先要被主基督的生命更新、炼净与得着。
丈夫有一次遇到了车祸，但是他在极度虚弱病榻之中，仍不忘敬拜上帝。她明白了比起事奉，更重要的是先聚焦耶稣，因为主的同在会让事奉祂的人心得满足。
恩雅牧师解释到：“有一次我丈夫在开车送一些教会同工回住宿的地方，回来的路上就出了严重的车祸，因为那两天他身体特别疲累。后来他在重症监护室里待了好长时间。”
“其中有一天因为牧师有好几处骨折，包括鼻子，然后他的肠道切取一部分。在我到之前，他鼻子已经流了一两个小时的血。在那里，我不断地宣告，祷告了半个小时后，他的鼻血就慢慢止息了。”
“然后正好是礼拜天，我丈夫刚刚止住鼻血，就说：‘今天是礼拜天，我们两个人还是在医院里一起敬拜主吧。”
“通过这次车祸件事，让我看到了比起知识性的讲道事奉，让一个人拥有与主亲密的、坚固的生命是更加重要的。”
恩雅牧师反思说：“我发现有很多爱主的同工，但是因为意见不同，关系会来到破坏和分裂。当整体决策和她想法一样的时候，她可以顺从。但当不一样的时候，她就不会顺从，最终她选择了离开了。祷告中，上帝启示我说：‘祂要的服事不是以人的计划为导向的服事。’”
她说：“我们事奉开始有转型，转向凡事寻求上帝的心意，与主建立亲密的关系。我们开始以上帝为中心的模式走事奉的路，我们会带入家人同行的文化里。当个人领受异象和做决定时，提倡带领同工把权柄交给教会大家庭整体来定夺。”
恩雅牧师说，“当个人领受启示后，我们需要让牧者查看和鉴别，同时要允许别人对我领受的说‘不’和‘等一等’。让教会里工人追求被上帝管理的生命，因为先知要尊听使徒的查验。让牧者去做决定，让牧者决定对这个异象的执行和实践。在个人的领受与权柄的关系里来到同行和顺服。”
疫情三年后的心得与看见
恩雅牧师的教会在疫情三年后，认识到了建立信徒对教会的委身感的重要性。她看到以往信众容易执着于培灵特会或者跟着名牧跑的现象。所以，她更加看重小组聚会，在聚会中加深信徒对教会的连带感与委身感。
“疫情期间，通过小组聚会，我们经常与大家在一起，从而更加了解一个人的生命。我们注重建立家的文化，在上帝的家里，任何的软弱不要害怕和隐藏。我们都是罪人，所以我们提倡一起祷告，一起成长和改变。”恩雅牧师补充到。
牧养上的难处和挣扎
恩雅牧师在谈到现在教会所面临的牧养上的难处与挣扎的方面时说：“现在的人时间很紧张，他们又被世界上的娱乐与琐事所吸引。比如，加班很多，我们教会里有些家长会把孩子的学业放在第一，报各样的补习班，来教会的时间就受到挑战。”
“面对这样的情况，我们教会更加注重每天早上的线上的灵修会，同时把上帝带领你的见证和圣灵的感动分享出来。他们得到恩典的时候，就开始过追求信仰的生活，对世上的追求就会变弱。”
“对于职场工作的人，我们也强调在工作上也要寻求上帝的智慧、策略。在我们教会夫妻都信的占一半，另外一半的数量是姐妹信，丈夫不信。教会也会定期举行夫妻主题的聚会，我们会让不信的另一半参加。有些人在夫妻聚会里面，借着夫妻幸福主题的课程，也开始了解信仰。”
对年轻领袖的信任与培养 放手不放责
恩雅牧师解释说：“我们作为年纪大了的这一代的牧者，要把许多服事开始放手了，让年轻一代去做了。我们按现在是放手，但不放责的原则。我们不希望像以利亚和摩西一样，等到离世才让下一代上位。我们的理念是家人同行，不同的代际牧者都要一起来事奉。”
“我们在的时候，就开始扶持他们参与服事。看到他们服事比我们好，我们就以他们为荣。教会里老一辈的牧者里恩赐和恩膏，借着彼此尊荣就会很容易流淌到下一代的人的生命里。”
做事工的牧者 不能迷失自己
恩雅牧师指出，她所经历的以前教会的事工发展的模式是从人想要办什么事工开始的，人的计划和想法占主导地位。有一次，上帝感动她和一些教会同工们说，不要把事奉的时间都给事工，要追求上帝本身和他的国。“看旧约的历史，当以色列的王打仗没有求问上帝时，当他们不依靠上帝、依靠埃及的智慧和王，他们的争战就会失败。但是当他们和长老聚在一起，就会领受上帝的启示，跟随上帝的带领打仗就会得胜。”
“我们觉得，无论是牧养教会还是推动事工的发展，都需要在上帝的同行里面去做是更好的。上帝所要的事工是期待人和祂一起来完成的。我们需要一起从寻求上帝的旨意开始，然后是顺服，圣灵会给与带领和引导。 ”
访谈｜华东一女牧者经历圣灵后服事20年的成长路：心得、转型与反思
In the 1970s, Enya (pseudonym), a female pastor, was born into a Christian family in a small county in North China. Today, she and her husband lead a church that places a strong emphasis on relying on the Holy Spirit, receiving positive testimonials from neighboring congregations.
Recently, she shared her arduous journey and struggles on the path of personal growth and ministry spanning over two decades with an online Chinese Christian newspaper, the Christian Times.
Struggles and convictions after being filled with the Holy Spirit
Enya grew up in a Christian household and was sponsored by her hometown church to study theology for a year in 1997. In 1998, while serving in ministry, she encountered an elderly pastor filled with the Holy Spirit, inspiring her to learn the art of prayer under the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Despite receiving the Holy Spirit and spiritual gifts, she encountered resistance and difficulty in her ministry, as some members of her hometown church struggled to accept Pentecostal Christians. She recalled, "Because I could speak in tongues during that period, I faced a negative attitude from my fellow servants. Some even accused me of being possessed by evil spirits."
In the midst of this painful struggle, she fervently prayed to God. The Holy Spirit communicated to her that this was the ministry that God intended for her. She subsequently relinquished her burdens and found solace and strength in her heart.
Reflection and transformation in ministry
In 1999, she married a pastor from a city in East China, and together they established a church. Throughout their journey in ministry, she came to realize that, as servants of Christ, personal renewal and purification through Christ's life were of greater significance than the ministry itself.
Her husband experienced a severe car accident but continued to worship God even in his extreme physical weakness. She learned that focusing on Jesus was more important than engaging in ministry, as the presence of the Lord satisfied those who served Him.
Pastor Enya recounted, "One day, my husband was involved in a serious car accident while transporting church workers to their lodgings. He spent an extended period in the intensive care unit."
"On one of those days, he suffered multiple fractures, including his nose, and had to undergo intestinal surgery. His nose had been bleeding for an hour or two before I arrived. During my presence, I continuously proclaimed God's word and prayed. After approximately half an hour, the nosebleed gradually ceased."
She continued, "Remarkably, it was a Sunday, and immediately after the nosebleed stopped, my husband said, 'Today is Sunday; let us worship the Lord together in the hospital.'"
"Through this car accident, I realized that cultivating a deep and intimate relationship with the Lord takes precedence over eloquent preaching and ministry."
She also reflected, saying, "I noticed that many staff members who loved the Lord left due to differences in opinions, and relationships with others were strained. When collective decisions aligned with her ideas, she obeyed. However, when they didn't, she refused to comply and eventually chose to depart. In prayer, God revealed to me, 'The ministry I desire is not rooted in meticulous planning.'"
She added, "Our ministry began to transform, shifting its focus towards seeking God's will in all matters and fostering an intimate relationship with the Lord. We embarked on a path where God stood at the center of our ministry, creating a familial culture. When individuals received visions and made decisions, we advocated for the involvement of the church family."
Enya emphasized, "When individuals receive revelations, we urge pastors to review and discern them while allowing others to express their reservations and concerns. Church workers are encouraged to lead lives guided by God because prophets should respect the apostles' examination. Let pastors make decisions and bear responsibility for the execution and implementation of these visions. Let us walk in unity and obedience within the framework of personal reception and authority."
Insights and visions after the COVID-19 pandemic
Three years after the pandemic, Enya's church realized the importance of nurturing a sense of commitment among believers toward the church. She observed that, in the past, congregants often fixated on spiritual conferences or sought-after renowned pastors. Consequently, she placed increased emphasis on small group gatherings, which deepened believers' connections with and dedication to the church.
"During the pandemic, through these small group gatherings, we frequently congregated with fellow Christians, thereby gaining a deeper insight into their lives. We concentrated on cultivating a familial culture within the church where fear and the concealment of weaknesses were discouraged. Recognizing that we are all sinners, we emphasized collective prayer, growth, and transformation," Pastor Enya added.
Challenges and struggles in pastoring
When addressing the current challenges and obstacles in pastoral work, Enya remarked, "Contemporary individuals grapple with constrained schedules and are often drawn to worldly entertainment and distractions. For example, many individuals work overtime, and some parents prioritize their children's education by enrolling them in various supplementary classes, which poses a challenge to their attendance at church."
"Faced with such circumstances, our church has placed greater emphasis on daily online spiritual meetings in the mornings. Simultaneously, we encourage church members to share their personal testimonies about how God has led them. As they experience God's grace, they begin to pursue a life of faith, causing their worldly pursuits to wane."
"For those engaged in the corporate world, we stress the importance of seeking God's wisdom and strategies in their professions. In our church, approximately half of the couples are both believers, while the other half consists of female believers whose husbands do not share their faith. The church regularly hosts themed gatherings for couples, extending invitations to non-believing spouses. Some individuals, during these couples' meetings, embark on their faith journey through courses focused on marital happiness."
Nurturing young leaders: releasing them, but with accountability
Pastor Enya elucidated, "As older-generation pastors, we recognize the necessity of gradually entrusting many ministry responsibilities to the younger generation. We adhere to the principle of relinquishing control without forsaking accountability. We are determined not to wait until our departure, akin to Eli and Moses, before allowing the next generation to assume leadership roles. Our guiding philosophy is to journey together as a family, with pastors from various generations serving side by side."
"While we are still present, we offer our support for young staff members to engage in ministry. Witnessing them excel in ministry brings us great pride. In our church, the gifts and anointing present in the older generation of pastors readily flow into the lives of the next generation through mutual respect."
Pastors should retain their essence
Enya emphasized that the former approach to ministry development in her previous church often revolved around people's desires and human plans, with divine inspiration taking a backseat. Once, God inspired her and some church workers to redirect their focus away from all-consuming ministry and instead seek God and His divine kingdom.
"Examining the Old Testament, it is evident that when the kings of Israel engaged in warfare without seeking God's guidance, relying solely on worldly wisdom and kings, their efforts ended in failure. However, when they assembled with the elders, sought God's revelations, and followed His guidance, they emerged victorious," she added.
"We are firm in our belief that whether pastoring a church or advancing a ministry, the path to success lies in companionship with God. God desires a collaborative effort where people work alongside Him to accomplish His ministry. We must initiate this journey by collectively seeking God's will, then obeying; the Holy Spirit will provide the guidance and direction needed."
- Translated by Abigail Wu
Female Pastor Reflects on 20 Years of Ministry in Spirit-Empowered Church
