Although I only lived with my grandfather for a couple of years, his character and his convictions had a profound effect on me.
My grandpa, Pastor Pan Yanggui, served the church in Linfen, China's north Shanxi Province before liberation. He studied theology at the Shanxi Hongtong Bible College, which was a part of the Shanghai Jiangwan Bible School. After graduation, he preached sermons in Beijing Oriential Missionary Society, Tianjin (Tianjin Dazhigu Church), Hebei (Zhangjiakou Church), Mongolia, and the Suiyuan region. In the 1950s, he was a member of the Shanxi Protestant Three-Self Patriotic Movement and a CPPCC member of Linfen County (later changed to Linfen City) in Shanxi Province. Before he died, he was a pastor of the Christian Church in Linfen City, Shanxi Province.
My grandfather was born in Xiaoyu Village, Jindian Town, Yaodu District, Linfen city, Shanxi Province, on February 28, 1904.
My grandfather's father, Pan Dengying, was a martial art master in the late Qing Dynasty. He was generous and often helped the poor. Because of his youthful arrogance, once he quarreled and fought with others. When he was defending himself against an attack, he accidentally bounced a spade on his opponent's head and killed him. Then he was put into prison. To save his life, his family sold their land so he could be released from prison, and his family fell into ruin.
At the age of about ten, grandpa went up to the mountains to cut firewood. He carried it to the city to sell, and sometimes worked as a day laborer for others. Once, grandpa went to town to sell firewood. When my grandfather was fifteen (1919), he saw a group of people reading and writing in a school, and his heart was filled with envy. So he walked into the school. It was the Linfen church founded by the China Inland Mission. He saw that the people inside were different from the people in his life, each with a look of peace and joy on their faces.
Each day after he had finished his work or selling wood, the first thing he did was go to church to listen to the sermon and learn hymns. After a long time, the elders in charge of the church thought about this young man, and they learned from talking to him that so many things had happened in my grandfather's home, so they arranged for him to work as a clerk in the church. At the time that he began working at the church he did not believe in the Lord.
Grandpa was mainly responsible for cleaning inside and outside the church. He rang the bell at the correct times, and did all the chores of the church. He worked diligently, learned to read, then he read the Scriptures, and received Christ into his life and was baptized. At that time, Pastor Yang Shaotang (1898-1969) a native of Quwo, Shanxi Province, often preached in the Linfen area. He wanted to help my grandfather develop spiritually, so he often had him read the Bible and also took him out to preach.
In 1922, Linfen Church recommended that grandpa study at the Hongdong Yufeng Mountain Bible College. After graduation, he remained at the school as a teacher. Later, My grandfather was recommended by Pastor Yang to study at Shanghai Jiangwan Theological Seminary.
After a journey of more than three months, my grandfather found himself standing at the gate of the seminary. His clothing was poor and he needed to pay two hundred dollars to go to school. Despite this, he said that he had enough strength to work. Because of Pastor Yang's recommendation, grandpa was exempted from the tuition charge and was part of a work-study program in which he used as a building bellman. His roommates and other teachers and classmates knew about grandpa's education experience, and they also extended their hands to help him. Some gave him clothes and some gave him shoes and socks...... After graduating in 1930, it was recommended that he go to the Beijing Qianmen Far East Mission Church (a church of the China Inland Mission in Beijing).
In the summer of 1932, my grandfather took my grandmother, who was a nurse in the Shanxi Xinghualing Fraternity Hospital (Missionary Hospital), to Beijing to get married.
My grandmother, named Wei Shanliang (1910-1979.8.), was born in a peasant family in Hejin, Shanxi Province. She was the ninth child and also a baby girl. Because of poverty, her family abandoned her. An old sister was on her way to church on a Sunday when she heard the baby crying and picked her up and took her to Deacon Li's home in Huangcun Church.
In those days, churches were established by China Inland Mission throughout Shanxi, and many British missionaries served in the countryside of Shanxi. At that time, an English pastor and his wife were preaching in a church in the Hejin area. They had received a sum of money from an English instructor named Wei Shanliang. She hoped to adopt an orphan in China and support her until she graduated from university. When the reverend and his wife saw the baby in church, they knew it was God's arrangement.
My grandmother grew up in a church environment and lived with a British missionary couple. She could play the piano, sing hymns, and speak fluent English. When she was a teenager, grandmother was sent to Huo County Female College by the reverend and his wife. At a college party, grandpa and grandma got to know each other and fell in love with each other. When my grandfather studied in Shanghai Jiangwan Theological Seminary, my grandmother was taken to Taiyuan, the provincial capital, by the Reverend Ji and his wife, where she worked as a nurse in the Charity Hospital of the church.
In 1934, my grandparents' first child was born and was named Joan (her Bible name is Rebecca—she is my mother). My mother later had two sisters, but they both died of measles. At the time, my grandparents were living at the church with Pastor Zhou Weitong, Pastor Wang Mingdao, and Pastor Liu. My grandfather was enthusiastically evangelizing and holding street meetings with other pastors.
Before liberation, the Chinese church had no autonomy. At that time, there were Chinese missionaries serving and living with my grandfather in the church, as well as foreign missionaries. Some foreign missionaries despised the Chinese people and excluded the Chinese missionaries. Some missionaries did not respect their Chinese colleagues at all, including in some minor aspects of life. Westerners ate with small plates, bowls, plates, knives and forks, and made fun of Chinese people when they saw that Chinese people were using big bowls. My grandfather had a straightforward personality. There were times when grandpa couldn't take it anymore and argued with them. At that time, the Chinese church was in the hands of foreigners, and grandpa was treated unfairly in the church. He was forced to leave the Beijing church after he was mistreated by foreigners who told the China Inland Mission to not hire him.
From 1938 to 1940, North China was the main battlefield in the war of resistance against Japanese aggression, with chaos everywhere. My grandfather and his family preached in Chahar and Suiyuan (now Inner Mongolia, Shanxi Datong).
From 1940 to 1941, my grandfather's family lived in Dazhigu, the French Concession in Tianjin, where they served in the church. Later in the Zhangjiakou church, grandfather continued to preach as a pastor, and grandmother taught in the Sunday school.
In 1941, the war in the Pacific broke out when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. The Japanese invaders had already invaded the hinterland of North China. Because of its strategic location and its remoteness, the Pingyang area of Linfen was occupied by the Japanese. In 1942, my grandfather's family returned to his hometown Linfen from Zhangjiakou. My grandfather continued to serve in the church.
As a pastor, my grandfather had originally planned to return to his hometown to serve his elders and brothers and sisters. However, due to the invasion of the Japanese, the church could not meet normally and the pastor could not preach in the midst of war and chaos. Many refugees came to the church for refuge. My grandfather set up a "refugee relief station" in the church at Linfen, which received and protected thousands of refugees, most of whom were fleeing famine from Henan, Hebei, Anhui, and other places, as well as poor people in the surrounding villages. Grandpa arranged the energetic and healthy among them to clean hospital supplies and doctors' coats for the church hospital, and to do some service work to maintain the basic lives. They all ate and lived in the church.
Soon after, the Japanese occupied the church completely, and the chapel of the Linfen Church became a cinema for Japanese soldiers. At that time, grandpa was looked up to by brothers and sisters in the church and fellow villagers, so the Japanese asked grandpa to be the President of the New Democratic Association, which would make him a traitor. If he did not agree with them, he would be expelled from the church immediately. So grandpa told his family to prepare to move out of the church. The next day, when the Japanese threatened him again, my upright grandfather steadfastly refused. Then, grandpa and his family were forced to leave their beloved church again. During this period, some people in the church also chose to work for the Japanese.
My grandfather's family moved to a house on Gongyuan Street in Linfen. The family had no income. From then on, grandpa bought medicine on credit in the pharmacy (Taihe Western Pharmacy) because he was trusted, and carried the medicine box to run around in the countryside to sell medicine to support his family. During this time, God also moved some brothers and sisters in the Hexi region to send grain and flour to them.
Grandfather carried the medicine box and walked through Xiangfen, Wenxi, Jiangxian, Jishan, Hejin and other places in South Jin, spreading the Gospel. During this period, my grandfather was captured twice by Japanese soldiers. Once, he was beaten black and blue, which resulted in a bone fracture in his right knee. With the help of his brothers and sisters, he survived. Grandpa also sold medicine to help the villagers and the poor, but often they did not have the money to pay him.
My mother said that at that time my grandfather was often out traveling, and grandmother and her three children would "keep kneeling down to pray." When grandpa came back, he always magically took out walnuts and dates from his sack of grain, bringing them the happiness of childhood.
At that time, my grandparents suffered from extreme poverty, but they also experienced God’s wonderful provision for life. My grandfather served in Dongpobao Church of Fencheng County and Wenxi Church. My grandfather traveled to Quwo, Houma, Anyi, Xia County, Linyi...dozens of counties in southern Shanxi.
In August 1945, the Japanese announced their unconditional surrender, and then the civil war brought another three years of war in the country. Due to the instability, my grandmother returned to Linfen Xiaoyu Village with her four children to live, and my grandfather also returned to his hometown from another county to teach. In 1947, the brothers and sisters heard that grandpa had returned, so they invited him to take charge of all the internal and external affairs of the church. Grandpa began to serve in the Linfen Church again, taking full charge of the church's ministry.
At that time, various ministries of Linfen Church were reorganized. The church was divided into the South courtyard and the North courtyard, and the chapel could accommodate 2,000 people. At the same time, the church took over Shansheng Hospital (established by the British Inland Mission, which became Linfen Special Hospital after Liberation), and my grandfather became the chairman of Shansheng Hospital. During this period, he went to Beijing twice. Large quantities of medicines and supplies were airlifted back from an American Relief Agency for the hospital.
In the spring of 1947, the People's Liberation Army came to Linfen city. At the end of 1947, the Linfen Female Teacher School, which my mother attended, was closed. As the number of patients and injuries increased rapidly, my mother worked as a nurse in Shansheng Hospital for several months, helping to treat and cure the wounded. Mother recalls that all the drugs of Shansheng hospital were supplied by the Taiyuan Red Cross American Relief Agency. Once, Taiyuan informed them that there was a shipment of drugs and relief clothes that needed to be claimed, and grandpa arranged for hospital dean Hao Zigang to go by plane to get the shipment. When the relief supply arrived, grandpa said to grandma and his family that they would not join the crowd to get these clothes and supplies.
The battle for the defense of Linfen began in March, 1948, and lasted for 72 days. The Kuomintang army in the city made a final struggle and resistance. They appointed grandfather the head of the church and the hospital. They required that water tanks be buried several meters underground. Adults and children under the age of 60 and over the age of 12 were told to listen to the noise in the water tank every night and immediately report when they heard the sound of digging.
On the eve of the liberation of Linfen on May 16, 1948, there was a machine gun battery in grandpa’s house, and behind the house was a gun position. With her children and some of her brothers and sisters in the church, grandmother shivered and hid in a cave next to the church. That night, my grandfather and the head of the mission hospital met for a board meeting with some colleagues. Early in the morning of May 17, the People's Liberation Army entered the city. Grandfather and a Kuomintang officer, Zhao Maoxuan, who also was a Christian, greeted the people's Liberation Army together. Later, when my grandfather returned to the church, the church and their house were burnt down. He could not help crying.
The church was badly damaged. All five houses connected to the church were also burned. The North Courtyard and the church lay in ruins. Only a few rows of houses remained in the South Courtyard. The piano in the Grand Chapel was also destroyed. All the belongings of my grandfather's family in the church were burned.
Before the founding of new China, Mr. Wu Yaozong sent a letter to my grandfather in Linfen Church, saying that foreigners would soon come back to China. Because all the land deeds of the church were in the name of the mainland association, he asked my grandfather to go back to Nanjing to get the land deeds for the church property. My grandfather left for Nanjing at once. It took him more than a month to carry the land deeds for more than 300 properties in Linfen Church with sacks, and then he started to check the house property of the church.
In the 1950s, my grandfather was one of the initiators of Shanxi Christian Three-self Patriotic Movement Committee and served as a member of the Standing Committee of Shanxi Three-Self Patriotic Movement Committee. Grandpa continued to preach in southern Shanxi. Due to the criticism of some people in Linfen Church, grandpa came to Hongdong Church to serve in 1953.
During the Cultural Revolution, because of her overseas connections (a daughter adopted by a British couple), and because of grandfather's status as a pastor, they could face criticism and punishment at any time. However, grandfather and grandmother avoided all kinds of persecution because they were informed in advance.
In 1970, when my mother was eight months pregnant, she went back to her family in Linfen Xiaoyu Village to give birth. I came to the world safely through my grandparents' prayers.
At that age my grandfather was thin and gentle, wearing a pair of glasses. Every morning before dawn he would go to the country road or highway to pick up dung with a basket on his back. The dung he picked up at the door piled into a small hill. In those days, due to the special status of my grandparents, all his children wrote in the column of family composition: religious professionals. With this special status, his five children were greatly affected in primary school, junior high school, senior high school, university, and even work.
During the Cultural Revolution, my mother and uncles were so frightened that they burned their Bibles. They destroyed all the photos of my grandmother and her English missionary family and the photos of my grandfather's church in Beijing and Tianjin. It was a pity to think of it later.
In 1978, reform and opening up sounded like spring thunder, and churches all over the country began to meet again. At this time, my grandfather was in his seventies, but he still went out to preach and visit his brothers and sisters. He had come to Taiyuan, the provincial capital, to live with us many times. I still remember that he brought us peanuts and sugar during Christmas.
On March 10, 1986, my 82-year-old grandfather, accompanied by all his children, went to heaven with a smile on his face. When he died, there was no money left. The only thing left was a traditional, lined Bible he had used, wrapped in blue cloth and filled with notes from where he read his Bible.
Now, following in my grandfather's footsteps, I serve as a pastor in a grassroots church in Northwest China. I pray that in every age, the Lord will raise up useful servants as precious vessels, to be the light of the times, to walk in the light!
(The author is pastor of a church in Urumqi, Xinjiang.)
- Translated by Nicolas Cao
从记事起，我与外公生活的日子加起来也仅仅是两三年的时间，但他的生命品行、他的坚定信念却深入骨髓般地影响了我。
我的外公潘仰贵牧师，解放前在山西临汾教会服侍，山西洪洞男道学院上学，上海江湾神学院读神学，后在京（北京远东宣教会）、津（天津大直沽教会）、冀（张家口教会）、蒙、绥地区传道，上世纪五十年代任山西省基督教三自爱国运动委员会委员，山西省临汾县（后改为临汾市）政协委员，离世前是山西省临汾市基督教会牧师。
1904年2月28日外公出生，生于山西省临汾市尧都区金殿镇小榆村。
我外公的父亲潘登嬴，系清朝末年的一名武秀才，性情豪爽、扶危济贫，因着年轻气盛与人发生口角，敌挡防卫时，不小心将铁锹回弹在对方头上致死，投入大牢。家里人为保全其性命，变卖土地把他从狱中赎回，从此家境败落
外公十岁左右就上山砍柴，背到城里去卖，有时也给人家打短工。一次，外公进城卖完柴，他看到一群人在一间学堂读书、写字，顿时心生羡慕。外公十五岁那一年（1919年），他走进去，那是由英国内地会建立的临汾教会，他看到里面的人与他生活中的人不一样，这些人一个个脸上都带着平和与喜乐。
自那之后，每一天干完活、或卖完柴，外公第一件事就是要跑到教堂听道、学诗。时间长了，教会管事务的长者记住了这个少年人，交谈间又了解到外公家中发生这么多变故，于是把他留了下来，安排他在教会打杂，虽没有信主，就进入教会。
外公主要负责打扫教堂内外的卫生、按时间摇铃，做教会的一切杂务事。他一边认真地作工，一边识字、读经、慕道，期间，他接受了基督的福音，并领受洗礼。当时杨绍唐牧师（1898年-1969年，山西曲沃人）常在临汾地区传道，起意培养外公，常常带领他读圣经，也带着他外出布道。
1922年，临汾教会推荐外公到洪洞玉峰山男道学院学习，毕业后留校作了一名教师。之后外公被杨牧师推荐到上海江湾神学院学习。
经过三个多月的旅途，站在神学院门口的外公，身上衣衫褴褛，但上学需要支付二百大洋的学费，外公说我有的是力气、我可以干活。就这样，外公因着有杨牧师的力荐，又以勤工俭学（作一名打钟员），被学校破例收取，他的室友和其他老师、同学知道外公的求学经历，也伸手帮助他，有的送衣、有的送鞋袜……1930年神学毕业后被推荐到了北京前门远东宣教会（内地会在北京的教会）工作。
1932年夏天，外公将山西省杏花岭博爱医院（教会医院）作护士的外婆接到北京完婚。
我的外婆名叫维善良（1910-1979.8.），出生于山西河津一农民家庭，因着是家中第九个孩子，又是女婴，家人生活所迫，把将她抛弃。那天正是礼拜天，一位老姊妹在去往教会的路上，听到婴儿的啼哭声，捡起送到黄村教会的李执事家中。
当年英国内地会在山西各地建立教会，有许多英国传教士在山西乡村服侍。当时有英国吉斯廷牧师夫妇正在河津一带的教会传道，他们曾经得到一笔钱，来自英国一位叫维善良的女教习，她希望在中国收养一名孤儿，并供养到大学毕业。当吉牧师夫妇在教会看到这个捡回来的婴孩，知道这是神的预备。
外婆自小在教会的环境中长大，又在英国传教士夫妇身边生活，会弹琴、唱诗，讲一口流利的英语。十几岁时，外婆被吉牧师夫妇送到霍县女道学院学习，在一次道学院的聚会中，外公、外婆二人相识，并相爱。当外公在上海江湾神学院学习期间，外婆被吉牧师夫妇带到省城太原，在教会博爱医院作了一名护士。
1934年，外公外婆第一个孩子出生，起名贞德（圣经名字叫利百加，我的母亲），母亲其后有两个妹妹出生，但因着出麻疹相继夭折。那时外公外婆与北京远东宣教会的周维同牧师、王明道牧师和一位刘牧师都住在教会，他与当时的几位牧师一同热情地传福音、在街头开布道会。
解放前的中国教会没有自主权，当时与外公在教会侍奉和生活在一起的有中国传道人，也有外国传教士，有一些外国传教士轻看中国人、也排挤中国传道人。有的外国牧师根本不尊重中国同工，包括一些生活小节，西方人用小盘、小碗、小碟、刀叉吃饭，看到中国人用大盘大碗就会取笑。外公性格比较耿直，有几次外公实在听不下去，就与据理力争。当时中国的教会把持在外国人的手中，从此之后外公在教会受到不公待遇，他们还通知内地会的教会不再聘用外公，这样他被迫离开北京教会。
1938年-1940年间，中国华北地区正是抗战主战场，到处兵荒马乱，外公携家眷在察哈尔、绥远（今内蒙、山西大同）一带传道。
1940年-1941年间，外公一家住在天津法租界大直沽，在那里的教会服侍。之后在张家口教会，作牧师的外公继续讲道，外婆带着主日学。
1941年，日本偷袭珍珠港太平洋战争爆发。那时，日本侵略者早已侵入华北腹地，临汾平阳地区因着地理位置的险要，已经被日本人占领。1942年，外公全家从张家口回到家乡临汾，外公继续在教会服侍。
作为牧师的外公原本想着返回家乡服侍父老乡亲和弟兄姊妹，但因着日本人的侵略，在兵荒马乱中教会不能正常聚会、牧师也不能讲道，很多逃荒的难民涌向教会。于是，外公在临汾教会成立“难民救济所”（百度可查），先后收留保护难民千人，这些人多是从河南、河北、安徽等地逃荒来的人，也有周围村中的穷苦人。外公就安排他们中间有气有力、身体较好的，为教会善胜医院清洗医院用品、医生大褂，作一些服务性的劳动维持基本的生活，大家都是吃住在教会。
不久之后，日本人完全侵占教会，临汾教会的礼拜堂成了日本军人的电影院。因当时外公在教会众弟兄姊妹中与众父老乡亲中有很高的威望，日本人就以各种利益诱惑外公，并要求外公作新民会会长（汉奸），若不答应他们，就下令立刻撵出教会。于是外公做好全家搬出教会的准备，次日，日本人再次威逼利诱时，刚正不阿的外公坚定地拒绝。随即，外公携带家眷再次被迫离开心爱的教会。这期间，教会也有的人选择为日本人做事。
外公一家搬到临汾贡院街一民房居住，一家人没有任何收入，从此之后，外公以自己的诚信向药房（太和西药房）赊药，背着药箱奔走在乡下村里，以卖药维持一家人的生活，这期间，神也感动河西地区一些弟兄姊妹送来杂粮和面。
外公背着药箱经，步行走遍晋南襄汾、闻喜、绛县、稷山、河津等地，一面传福音。在这期间，外公两次遭到日本兵抓捕，一次被打得遍体鳞伤，致右腿膝部骨伤，在弟兄姊妹的帮助下幸免于难。外公也藉着卖药帮扶乡里乡亲和贫穷的人，却没有收回钱。
母亲说：那时我的外公常在外，外婆带着他们姐弟三人，“动不动就跪下来祷告”。当外公外出回来时，总是从他的干粮袋里变戏法式的拿出核桃、枣，带给他们姐弟们童年的快乐。
那时，外公外婆一家的生活常是在极度穷乏中，却又经历着神奇妙丰盛的供应，期间，外公相继在汾城县东坡堡教会事奉，闻喜教会服事，外公跑遍了曲沃、侯马、安邑、夏县、临猗……晋南几十个县。
1945年8月，日本人宣布无条件投降，国内又开始三年内战，因着局势动荡不安，外婆带着四个孩子再次返回临汾小榆村居住，外公也由外县传道返回家乡。1947年，众弟兄姊妹听说外公已经返回，于是邀请外公主持教会内外的各项事务，外公重新开始在临汾教会服侍，全面负责教会的事工。
当时临汾教会各项事工有待重整，教会分南院北院，大礼拜堂能容纳两千人。同时，教会接管善胜医院（由英国内地会建立，解放后为临汾专医院），外公出任善胜医院董事长，期间两次赴京、并两地空运回美国救济总署配给医院的大量药品和物资。
1947年春，人民解放军在兵临临汾城。1947年末，母亲所上的临汾女师学校停课，因着伤病员剧增，母亲在善胜医院当了几个月的护士，帮助救治伤员。母亲回忆说：善胜医院所有的药品都是由太原红十字会美国救济总署供给，一次太原通知有一批药品和救济衣服要人去领取，外公就安排善胜医院的郝子刚院长坐飞机领回物资，当救济物品运抵后，外公跟外婆和孩子们说：咱们家的人谁也不能挤着去领取那些衣服和用品。
1948年3月开始，临汾保卫战役72天，城内的国民党军作最后的挣扎和抵抗，他们任命外公为教会和医院的联防负责人，要求把水缸埋到地下几米深，安排60岁以下、12岁以上的大人小孩，每天晚上在水缸那里听动静，听见有挖土的声音就立刻报告。
1948年5月16日临汾解放前夜，外公家房上住着机枪连，房背后是炮阵地。外婆带着几个孩子和在教会中的一些弟兄姊妹瑟瑟发抖地躲藏在教会旁边的地洞里。那一夜晚，外公和教会医院负责人和一些同工在开董事会。17日清晨，解放军进入城内，外公带着一位已经信主的国民党军官赵茂轩，一同迎接解放军。其后，外公又返回教会，教堂和居住的房屋在炮火中都烧毁了，失声痛哭。
教会这次损毁严重，五间房屋全部烧毁，北院和教堂成了一片废墟，只留有南院几排房子，大礼拜堂的钢琴被烧毁，外公一家在教会里所有的物品全部烧了。
新中国成立前，吴耀宗先生给临汾教会的外公来信，讲到外国人很快要回国，因教会的地契全部都在内地会总会，让外公到南京将教会房屋地契要回去。外公立刻起身前往南京，一路艰辛，历时一个多月，用麻袋扛回临汾教会三百多间房屋的地契，后又着手核对教会的房屋教产。
上世纪五十年代，外公是山西省基督教三自爱委会发起人之一，任山西省三自爱国运动委员会常委。 外公继续在晋南地区传道。因临汾教会个别人对外公的非议，1953年外公到洪洞教会服侍。
在文革时期，因着外婆有海外关系（英国夫妇收养的女儿），因着外公的牧师身份，随时面临批斗挨整，而外公外婆因提前得到消息就避开了各等的迫害。
1970年，母亲怀着八个月的我回到娘家临汾小榆村待产，我在外公外婆的祈祷中平安来到人间。
那个年代的外公脸庞清瘦、文质彬彬，戴着一付眼镜，每天早晨天未亮就背着背篓，到乡间小路或公路上去拾粪，他拾的粪在门口堆成一座小山包。当年因着外公外婆的特殊身份，所有儿女在家庭成份一栏都写着：宗教职业者，五个儿女带着这个特殊的身份，从小学、初中、高中，大学以至工作都受到极大影响。
文革时，我的母亲和舅舅们因担惊受怕，把家中的圣经、所有外婆与英国传教士的照片、以及外公在北京、天津教会的照片都付之一炬，后来想起来都是遗憾。
1978年，改革开放似一声春雷，全国各地的教会相继复堂开始聚会。此时的外公已是古稀之年，他仍外出讲道、看望弟兄姊妹，曾多次来省城太原住在我们家里，我还记得他在教会过圣诞节时给我们带回花生和糖，外公也在太原北营地区的郑村等地传道。
1986年3月10日，82岁的外公在所有儿女们的陪伴中，含笑归回天家。离世之时，没有留下分文，唯一留下的是他使用过的一本繁体字、竖排板的圣经，用蓝色布包裹着，里面写满了外公读经所作的标注。
如今，我追随外公的脚踪，在西北基层教会作了牧师。我祈愿：在每一个时代，主兴起合用的仆人，使用每一个宝贵的器皿，成为这时代的明灯，行在光中！（本文作者现任新疆乌鲁木齐教会牧师。）
忆我的外公潘仰贵牧师
Although I only lived with my grandfather for a couple of years, his character and his convictions had a profound effect on me.
My grandpa, Pastor Pan Yanggui, served the church in Linfen, China's north Shanxi Province before liberation. He studied theology at the Shanxi Hongtong Bible College, which was a part of the Shanghai Jiangwan Bible School. After graduation, he preached sermons in Beijing Oriential Missionary Society, Tianjin (Tianjin Dazhigu Church), Hebei (Zhangjiakou Church), Mongolia, and the Suiyuan region. In the 1950s, he was a member of the Shanxi Protestant Three-Self Patriotic Movement and a CPPCC member of Linfen County (later changed to Linfen City) in Shanxi Province. Before he died, he was a pastor of the Christian Church in Linfen City, Shanxi Province.
My grandfather was born in Xiaoyu Village, Jindian Town, Yaodu District, Linfen city, Shanxi Province, on February 28, 1904.
My grandfather's father, Pan Dengying, was a martial art master in the late Qing Dynasty. He was generous and often helped the poor. Because of his youthful arrogance, once he quarreled and fought with others. When he was defending himself against an attack, he accidentally bounced a spade on his opponent's head and killed him. Then he was put into prison. To save his life, his family sold their land so he could be released from prison, and his family fell into ruin.
At the age of about ten, grandpa went up to the mountains to cut firewood. He carried it to the city to sell, and sometimes worked as a day laborer for others. Once, grandpa went to town to sell firewood. When my grandfather was fifteen (1919), he saw a group of people reading and writing in a school, and his heart was filled with envy. So he walked into the school. It was the Linfen church founded by the China Inland Mission. He saw that the people inside were different from the people in his life, each with a look of peace and joy on their faces.
Each day after he had finished his work or selling wood, the first thing he did was go to church to listen to the sermon and learn hymns. After a long time, the elders in charge of the church thought about this young man, and they learned from talking to him that so many things had happened in my grandfather's home, so they arranged for him to work as a clerk in the church. At the time that he began working at the church he did not believe in the Lord.
Grandpa was mainly responsible for cleaning inside and outside the church. He rang the bell at the correct times, and did all the chores of the church. He worked diligently, learned to read, then he read the Scriptures, and received Christ into his life and was baptized. At that time, Pastor Yang Shaotang (1898-1969) a native of Quwo, Shanxi Province, often preached in the Linfen area. He wanted to help my grandfather develop spiritually, so he often had him read the Bible and also took him out to preach.
In 1922, Linfen Church recommended that grandpa study at the Hongdong Yufeng Mountain Bible College. After graduation, he remained at the school as a teacher. Later, My grandfather was recommended by Pastor Yang to study at Shanghai Jiangwan Theological Seminary.
After a journey of more than three months, my grandfather found himself standing at the gate of the seminary. His clothing was poor and he needed to pay two hundred dollars to go to school. Despite this, he said that he had enough strength to work. Because of Pastor Yang's recommendation, grandpa was exempted from the tuition charge and was part of a work-study program in which he used as a building bellman. His roommates and other teachers and classmates knew about grandpa's education experience, and they also extended their hands to help him. Some gave him clothes and some gave him shoes and socks...... After graduating in 1930, it was recommended that he go to the Beijing Qianmen Far East Mission Church (a church of the China Inland Mission in Beijing).
In the summer of 1932, my grandfather took my grandmother, who was a nurse in the Shanxi Xinghualing Fraternity Hospital (Missionary Hospital), to Beijing to get married.
My grandmother, named Wei Shanliang (1910-1979.8.), was born in a peasant family in Hejin, Shanxi Province. She was the ninth child and also a baby girl. Because of poverty, her family abandoned her. An old sister was on her way to church on a Sunday when she heard the baby crying and picked her up and took her to Deacon Li's home in Huangcun Church.
In those days, churches were established by China Inland Mission throughout Shanxi, and many British missionaries served in the countryside of Shanxi. At that time, an English pastor and his wife were preaching in a church in the Hejin area. They had received a sum of money from an English instructor named Wei Shanliang. She hoped to adopt an orphan in China and support her until she graduated from university. When the reverend and his wife saw the baby in church, they knew it was God's arrangement.
My grandmother grew up in a church environment and lived with a British missionary couple. She could play the piano, sing hymns, and speak fluent English. When she was a teenager, grandmother was sent to Huo County Female College by the reverend and his wife. At a college party, grandpa and grandma got to know each other and fell in love with each other. When my grandfather studied in Shanghai Jiangwan Theological Seminary, my grandmother was taken to Taiyuan, the provincial capital, by the Reverend Ji and his wife, where she worked as a nurse in the Charity Hospital of the church.
In 1934, my grandparents' first child was born and was named Joan (her Bible name is Rebecca—she is my mother). My mother later had two sisters, but they both died of measles. At the time, my grandparents were living at the church with Pastor Zhou Weitong, Pastor Wang Mingdao, and Pastor Liu. My grandfather was enthusiastically evangelizing and holding street meetings with other pastors.
Before liberation, the Chinese church had no autonomy. At that time, there were Chinese missionaries serving and living with my grandfather in the church, as well as foreign missionaries. Some foreign missionaries despised the Chinese people and excluded the Chinese missionaries. Some missionaries did not respect their Chinese colleagues at all, including in some minor aspects of life. Westerners ate with small plates, bowls, plates, knives and forks, and made fun of Chinese people when they saw that Chinese people were using big bowls. My grandfather had a straightforward personality. There were times when grandpa couldn't take it anymore and argued with them. At that time, the Chinese church was in the hands of foreigners, and grandpa was treated unfairly in the church. He was forced to leave the Beijing church after he was mistreated by foreigners who told the China Inland Mission to not hire him.
From 1938 to 1940, North China was the main battlefield in the war of resistance against Japanese aggression, with chaos everywhere. My grandfather and his family preached in Chahar and Suiyuan (now Inner Mongolia, Shanxi Datong).
From 1940 to 1941, my grandfather's family lived in Dazhigu, the French Concession in Tianjin, where they served in the church. Later in the Zhangjiakou church, grandfather continued to preach as a pastor, and grandmother taught in the Sunday school.
In 1941, the war in the Pacific broke out when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor. The Japanese invaders had already invaded the hinterland of North China. Because of its strategic location and its remoteness, the Pingyang area of Linfen was occupied by the Japanese. In 1942, my grandfather's family returned to his hometown Linfen from Zhangjiakou. My grandfather continued to serve in the church.
As a pastor, my grandfather had originally planned to return to his hometown to serve his elders and brothers and sisters. However, due to the invasion of the Japanese, the church could not meet normally and the pastor could not preach in the midst of war and chaos. Many refugees came to the church for refuge. My grandfather set up a "refugee relief station" in the church at Linfen, which received and protected thousands of refugees, most of whom were fleeing famine from Henan, Hebei, Anhui, and other places, as well as poor people in the surrounding villages. Grandpa arranged the energetic and healthy among them to clean hospital supplies and doctors' coats for the church hospital, and to do some service work to maintain the basic lives. They all ate and lived in the church.
Soon after, the Japanese occupied the church completely, and the chapel of the Linfen Church became a cinema for Japanese soldiers. At that time, grandpa was looked up to by brothers and sisters in the church and fellow villagers, so the Japanese asked grandpa to be the President of the New Democratic Association, which would make him a traitor. If he did not agree with them, he would be expelled from the church immediately. So grandpa told his family to prepare to move out of the church. The next day, when the Japanese threatened him again, my upright grandfather steadfastly refused. Then, grandpa and his family were forced to leave their beloved church again. During this period, some people in the church also chose to work for the Japanese.
My grandfather's family moved to a house on Gongyuan Street in Linfen. The family had no income. From then on, grandpa bought medicine on credit in the pharmacy (Taihe Western Pharmacy) because he was trusted, and carried the medicine box to run around in the countryside to sell medicine to support his family. During this time, God also moved some brothers and sisters in the Hexi region to send grain and flour to them.
Grandfather carried the medicine box and walked through Xiangfen, Wenxi, Jiangxian, Jishan, Hejin and other places in South Jin, spreading the Gospel. During this period, my grandfather was captured twice by Japanese soldiers. Once, he was beaten black and blue, which resulted in a bone fracture in his right knee. With the help of his brothers and sisters, he survived. Grandpa also sold medicine to help the villagers and the poor, but often they did not have the money to pay him.
My mother said that at that time my grandfather was often out traveling, and grandmother and her three children would "keep kneeling down to pray." When grandpa came back, he always magically took out walnuts and dates from his sack of grain, bringing them the happiness of childhood.
At that time, my grandparents suffered from extreme poverty, but they also experienced God’s wonderful provision for life. My grandfather served in Dongpobao Church of Fencheng County and Wenxi Church. My grandfather traveled to Quwo, Houma, Anyi, Xia County, Linyi...dozens of counties in southern Shanxi.
In August 1945, the Japanese announced their unconditional surrender, and then the civil war brought another three years of war in the country. Due to the instability, my grandmother returned to Linfen Xiaoyu Village with her four children to live, and my grandfather also returned to his hometown from another county to teach. In 1947, the brothers and sisters heard that grandpa had returned, so they invited him to take charge of all the internal and external affairs of the church. Grandpa began to serve in the Linfen Church again, taking full charge of the church's ministry.
At that time, various ministries of Linfen Church were reorganized. The church was divided into the South courtyard and the North courtyard, and the chapel could accommodate 2,000 people. At the same time, the church took over Shansheng Hospital (established by the British Inland Mission, which became Linfen Special Hospital after Liberation), and my grandfather became the chairman of Shansheng Hospital. During this period, he went to Beijing twice. Large quantities of medicines and supplies were airlifted back from an American Relief Agency for the hospital.
In the spring of 1947, the People's Liberation Army came to Linfen city. At the end of 1947, the Linfen Female Teacher School, which my mother attended, was closed. As the number of patients and injuries increased rapidly, my mother worked as a nurse in Shansheng Hospital for several months, helping to treat and cure the wounded. Mother recalls that all the drugs of Shansheng hospital were supplied by the Taiyuan Red Cross American Relief Agency. Once, Taiyuan informed them that there was a shipment of drugs and relief clothes that needed to be claimed, and grandpa arranged for hospital dean Hao Zigang to go by plane to get the shipment. When the relief supply arrived, grandpa said to grandma and his family that they would not join the crowd to get these clothes and supplies.
The battle for the defense of Linfen began in March, 1948, and lasted for 72 days. The Kuomintang army in the city made a final struggle and resistance. They appointed grandfather the head of the church and the hospital. They required that water tanks be buried several meters underground. Adults and children under the age of 60 and over the age of 12 were told to listen to the noise in the water tank every night and immediately report when they heard the sound of digging.
On the eve of the liberation of Linfen on May 16, 1948, there was a machine gun battery in grandpa’s house, and behind the house was a gun position. With her children and some of her brothers and sisters in the church, grandmother shivered and hid in a cave next to the church. That night, my grandfather and the head of the mission hospital met for a board meeting with some colleagues. Early in the morning of May 17, the People's Liberation Army entered the city. Grandfather and a Kuomintang officer, Zhao Maoxuan, who also was a Christian, greeted the people's Liberation Army together. Later, when my grandfather returned to the church, the church and their house were burnt down. He could not help crying.
The church was badly damaged. All five houses connected to the church were also burned. The North Courtyard and the church lay in ruins. Only a few rows of houses remained in the South Courtyard. The piano in the Grand Chapel was also destroyed. All the belongings of my grandfather's family in the church were burned.
Before the founding of new China, Mr. Wu Yaozong sent a letter to my grandfather in Linfen Church, saying that foreigners would soon come back to China. Because all the land deeds of the church were in the name of the mainland association, he asked my grandfather to go back to Nanjing to get the land deeds for the church property. My grandfather left for Nanjing at once. It took him more than a month to carry the land deeds for more than 300 properties in Linfen Church with sacks, and then he started to check the house property of the church.
In the 1950s, my grandfather was one of the initiators of Shanxi Christian Three-self Patriotic Movement Committee and served as a member of the Standing Committee of Shanxi Three-Self Patriotic Movement Committee. Grandpa continued to preach in southern Shanxi. Due to the criticism of some people in Linfen Church, grandpa came to Hongdong Church to serve in 1953.
During the Cultural Revolution, because of her overseas connections (a daughter adopted by a British couple), and because of grandfather's status as a pastor, they could face criticism and punishment at any time. However, grandfather and grandmother avoided all kinds of persecution because they were informed in advance.
In 1970, when my mother was eight months pregnant, she went back to her family in Linfen Xiaoyu Village to give birth. I came to the world safely through my grandparents' prayers.
At that age my grandfather was thin and gentle, wearing a pair of glasses. Every morning before dawn he would go to the country road or highway to pick up dung with a basket on his back. The dung he picked up at the door piled into a small hill. In those days, due to the special status of my grandparents, all his children wrote in the column of family composition: religious professionals. With this special status, his five children were greatly affected in primary school, junior high school, senior high school, university, and even work.
During the Cultural Revolution, my mother and uncles were so frightened that they burned their Bibles. They destroyed all the photos of my grandmother and her English missionary family and the photos of my grandfather's church in Beijing and Tianjin. It was a pity to think of it later.
In 1978, reform and opening up sounded like spring thunder, and churches all over the country began to meet again. At this time, my grandfather was in his seventies, but he still went out to preach and visit his brothers and sisters. He had come to Taiyuan, the provincial capital, to live with us many times. I still remember that he brought us peanuts and sugar during Christmas.
On March 10, 1986, my 82-year-old grandfather, accompanied by all his children, went to heaven with a smile on his face. When he died, there was no money left. The only thing left was a traditional, lined Bible he had used, wrapped in blue cloth and filled with notes from where he read his Bible.
Now, following in my grandfather's footsteps, I serve as a pastor in a grassroots church in Northwest China. I pray that in every age, the Lord will raise up useful servants as precious vessels, to be the light of the times, to walk in the light!
(The author is pastor of a church in Urumqi, Xinjiang.)
- Translated by Nicolas Cao
Thinking of My Grandfather, Rev. Pan Yanggui
