There goes an interesting saying inside the Chinese Christian community that pastors and ancient emperors share a significant similarity — both are incredibly lonely. An emperor's loneliness is evident even in how they refer to themselves. The Chinese idiom “to style oneself king” (称孤道寡) originates from emperors calling themselves “gu” (孤) or “guaren” (寡人, which means a loner). Both terms convey the emperor’s isolation and loneliness.
Similarly, the pastor's loneliness is inherent to their role. While people tend to gather together, pastors often choose to go against the current and face challenges alone. Pastor Liu has been serving full-time in a southern city for several decades, voices out his insights about pastors' loneliness.
Pastors have little connection with each other.
Deeply aware of the hardships faced by this group, Pastor Liu believes it is crucial for pastors to build deep relationships with one another among various kinds of challenges.
Currently, according to Liu, there is little connection between different churches and little contact among church staff. What often happens is this: a pastor feels weak, but no one shows concern for them. Even though they are colleagues, there is little understanding or close connection between them.
“If you leave the church, who will care about you?”
Once, Pastor Liu was chatting with another pastor and brought up a preacher who had served full-time in that pastor’s church for several years before leaving for some reason. Pastor Liu asked where that preacher was now, and the pastor honestly replied, “I don’t know.” The preacher had never contacted him since leaving the church, as if he had vanished.
Pastors who leave a church are often left uncared for and forgotten. Even those still serving in a church often receive inadequate concern from other pastors. If one is hurt, it often goes unnoticed; even if it is noticed, few people care. Many leave their churches because they are not well-protected by the church and its pastors, leaving them with deep emotional wounds and sorrow.
Even when two churches are very close, sometimes just next door, there is often mutual indifference. “You don’t care about them, and they don’t care about you,” says Pastor Liu.
"True friends can be found in society but not in the church."
Liu believes that, compared to other groups, pastors need to establish partnerships with each other even more. Church members may highly respect them, but they often find it difficult to express their true situations to the congregants. In such cases, internal communication within them becomes very important.
A workplace friend of Pastor Liu once said, “My friends are not Christians, but if something happens to me, they immediately drop everything and help me wholeheartedly.” He continued, “In the church, if something happens to me, others say they will pray for me, and then nothing happens. Often, I don’t even know if they really prayed. Few people say, ‘I can help you.’”
Liu observes that when pastors meet, they nod or chat symbolically for a moment but rarely engage in deep conversations. In such an environment, if something serious happens to a pastor, others are unlikely to help. Because there is no relationship, which means no love.
Liu said, “If pastors themselves cannot love one another, how can they stand at the altar and teach Christians to love each other?”
- Translated by Abigail Wu
笔者听过这样一种有趣的说法：传道人跟古代王朝的皇帝其实有一个很像的地方，那就是两者都非常孤独。
皇帝非常孤独，这个甚至从皇帝的自称就能很好的体现出来。称孤道寡这个成语正是源自于古代帝王自称“孤”或“寡人”。而无论是“孤”还是“寡人”，我们都能够从这两个自称当中感受到皇帝的孤独和寂寞。
而传道人群体之所以孤独，是由这个群体的特性决定的。人们常常喜欢聚集，但是传道人却偏偏选择逆水行舟、逆势而上。
传道人彼此之间的连接很少
刘牧师在南方一所城市已经全职服事了几十年的时间，正因如此，他深知传道人群体的种种艰难之处。在传道人群体所要面对的诸多艰难当中，刘牧师认为传道人彼此之间建立很深的关系非常重要。
现在，就刘牧师所知道的，教会与教会之间的连接很少，教会同工彼此之间联系得也很少。所以常常会出现怎样的事情呢？一名传道人软弱了，但是往往没有哪个人会关心他。虽然同为教会同工，但是大家彼此之间都不太了解，没有什么很紧密的连接。
“传道人离开教会以后，谁会理你啊？”
有一次刘牧师和另外一名牧师聊天的时候，刘牧师提起一个传道人。这个传道人之前就在那位牧师的教会全职服事好几年，后来因为一些原因离开了。然后刘牧师就问这位牧师那个传道人现在在哪里，这位牧师诚实地回答说“不知道”。牧师解释说那个传道人自从离开他们教会以后就从来没有联系过他，仿佛没有这个人一样。
离开一所教会的传道人了，基本没有人去管他们的死活，对他漠不关心。就算传道人还在一所教会里面服事，但是其实其他的牧者对他的关心常常也是不够的。传道人受伤了，常常没有人察觉，就算察觉到了也很少有人在意。其实很多传道人之所以离开某所教会的原因，常常就是教会和牧者没有保护好他们。他们心里受伤了，伤得非常严重，最后是非常伤心地离开教会的。
就算两所教会距离非常近，甚至于就在隔壁，但是常常还是彼此之间漠不关心。“你也不关心他，他也不关心你”，刘牧师如此说。
在社会上都能找到真朋友，却在教会里面找不到
刘牧师认为，相比其他群体，其实传道人群体是更加需要彼此之间建立伙伴关系。教会信徒可能非常尊重传道人，但是传道人的真实处境很多时候是很难向信徒如实表达的。在这样的情况之下，传道人群体内部的交通就变得非常重要。
刘牧师的一个职场上的朋友说，“我的那帮子朋友，他们并不是基督徒；但是只要我这边出了什么事情，他们就会马上放下一切、全力以赴地帮助我。”接着他说，“在教会里面我有什么事情，别人就会说我为你祷告，然后就没有然后了。最后就连有没有祷告这个也不知道，很少有人说‘我可以帮助你’。”
刘牧师说，传道人之间见面的时候，点点头，或者稍微象征性地聊几句 就结束了，很少有深入的交流。可是这样的话，如果一名传道人真的出了什么事情的话，其他传道人几乎不会帮助他的。为什么？因为没有关系。没有关系，就是没有爱。
那么，牧者和传道人自身都做不到彼此相爱，又怎么能够站在讲台上教导弟兄姊妹彼此相爱呢？
对话|南方一牧者：传道人更需建立彼此关系互相守望
There goes an interesting saying inside the Chinese Christian community that pastors and ancient emperors share a significant similarity — both are incredibly lonely. An emperor's loneliness is evident even in how they refer to themselves. The Chinese idiom “to style oneself king” (称孤道寡) originates from emperors calling themselves “gu” (孤) or “guaren” (寡人, which means a loner). Both terms convey the emperor’s isolation and loneliness.
Similarly, the pastor's loneliness is inherent to their role. While people tend to gather together, pastors often choose to go against the current and face challenges alone. Pastor Liu has been serving full-time in a southern city for several decades, voices out his insights about pastors' loneliness.
Pastors have little connection with each other.
Deeply aware of the hardships faced by this group, Pastor Liu believes it is crucial for pastors to build deep relationships with one another among various kinds of challenges.
Currently, according to Liu, there is little connection between different churches and little contact among church staff. What often happens is this: a pastor feels weak, but no one shows concern for them. Even though they are colleagues, there is little understanding or close connection between them.
“If you leave the church, who will care about you?”
Once, Pastor Liu was chatting with another pastor and brought up a preacher who had served full-time in that pastor’s church for several years before leaving for some reason. Pastor Liu asked where that preacher was now, and the pastor honestly replied, “I don’t know.” The preacher had never contacted him since leaving the church, as if he had vanished.
Pastors who leave a church are often left uncared for and forgotten. Even those still serving in a church often receive inadequate concern from other pastors. If one is hurt, it often goes unnoticed; even if it is noticed, few people care. Many leave their churches because they are not well-protected by the church and its pastors, leaving them with deep emotional wounds and sorrow.
Even when two churches are very close, sometimes just next door, there is often mutual indifference. “You don’t care about them, and they don’t care about you,” says Pastor Liu.
"True friends can be found in society but not in the church."
Liu believes that, compared to other groups, pastors need to establish partnerships with each other even more. Church members may highly respect them, but they often find it difficult to express their true situations to the congregants. In such cases, internal communication within them becomes very important.
A workplace friend of Pastor Liu once said, “My friends are not Christians, but if something happens to me, they immediately drop everything and help me wholeheartedly.” He continued, “In the church, if something happens to me, others say they will pray for me, and then nothing happens. Often, I don’t even know if they really prayed. Few people say, ‘I can help you.’”
Liu observes that when pastors meet, they nod or chat symbolically for a moment but rarely engage in deep conversations. In such an environment, if something serious happens to a pastor, others are unlikely to help. Because there is no relationship, which means no love.
Liu said, “If pastors themselves cannot love one another, how can they stand at the altar and teach Christians to love each other?”
- Translated by Abigail Wu
Voice: Pastors Need Mutual Relationships to Watch Over Each Other
