This story recounts how a church located in a new first-tier city walked out of its boundary to merge with the bigger society and brought the truth into the families of more young people.
“Presently, the ministry of our church mostly targets the spiritual needs of believers." When asked about the original intention of the church to carry out marriage and family ministry, Pastor W, a young man from Church B in the Xiaoxiang area (the area around the Xiaoxiang River in China, which includes parts of Hunan and Hubei provinces), replied, “Now, no matter if it is in the church or society, marriage and family problems of young people are more apparent. We have always been burdened with this concern, and we thus started the ministry.”
The church is located in the provincial capital city, which has been newly ranked first-tier due to the rise of its cultural tourism sector. The large-scale influx of young people brings not only a youthful atmosphere to the city but also more vitality to many local churches, including Church B. However, unlike churches that only focus on the marriage counseling of young and believing members, Church B, which focuses on unity, has a bigger vision.
“Now marriage and family are not only a problem in the church but also a common social problem.” In the young pastor’s view, if the ministry of marriage and family is to bring practical training to more souls, the church must walk out of its institutional boundaries to join hands with the bigger society and open a wider channel for the dissemination of words of the truth. “Therefore, the ministry of marriage and love in our church is open to the public. It does not matter whether the young people are believers or not; as long as they are preparing for their marriage and on their honeymoon, they can come and participate in the counseling.”
At the end of 2022, a series of marriage growth courses was put on Church B’s agenda, and they were entitled “Building a Family in Truth.”
In the curriculum, instructors with professional qualifications in marriage counseling mainly focus on marriage counseling, relationship shaping, and psychological counseling. Pastor W mainly checks the foundation of the truth and integrates theological perspectives to provide marriage guidance for young friends.
“At present, the course has a total of nine themes containing 41 modules, which start every Saturday night.” Pastor W introduced that the course focuses on nine themes: clarifying concepts, understanding instructions, establishing relationships, developing relationships, ending relationships, awaiting true love, evaluating marriage, coping with the fear of marriage, and handling remarriage. It involves many aspects that young people will experience, from affairs of pre-marriage, love, and newlyweds to post-marriage. “There will be speaker sharing and group interaction in each class; for young friends with special counseling needs, we have also prepared case talks to help them solve practical problems.”
Although at present, the accompanying talk and counseling work mainly depends on the speakers, Pastor W said that in the next year, the church will call for the establishment of a marriage and family counseling team among married believers to better provide personalized marriage and relationship counseling for single young people.
“We will invite professional lecturers to provide a one-year training course for marriage counselors. It is mainly based on biblical principles, combined with psychology and marriage and family counseling theory for training.” He added, “The first batch plans to recruit 25 to 30 trainees, and by the end of November, 16 believers will have signed up to receive the training.”
Currently, the course of marriage and family has been officially launched for more than a few months, and some problems are encountered, such as the conflict between biblical and worldly values and the limited acceptance of non-believers. However, in Pastor W's opinion, the actual benefit that the ministry has brought is much greater than the setback. “Now, the number of people participating in the course every week has increased steadily. After several courses, many single students have established a correct conception of marriage and family, which has strengthened our confidence in persistence.” He said, “Now, we are constantly optimizing the curriculum in combination with everyone’s feedback, but in any case, our purpose of building a family in truth will not change.”
For the future development of the ministry, Pastor W hoped that every young believer’s family could be built on truth and become a solid cornerstone in the church. On the other hand, he expected the marriage ministry to unite with the local communities and become a purely public welfare ministry independent of the church.
“I hope to help more local school-age young people and families, solve their difficulties in marriage and family, and let our church play its due role in society.”
- Translated by Charlie Li
本文记录了一所地处新一线都市中的教堂如何跳出教会边界，与社会力量融合，将真理带入更多年轻群体的家庭中的实践历程。
“我们教堂现阶段的事工开展大多是以信徒灵命需求为导向的，”在被问及教会开展婚姻家庭事工的初衷，位于潇湘地区的B教会的青年W教士回答。“现在不论教会里还是社会上的青年人婚姻家庭问题比较突出，我们一直对这个需求有负担，事工也就这么做起来了。”
地处因文旅产业崛起而跻身新一线的省会都市，年轻人的大规模涌入在为城市带来年轻化气息的同时，也为包括B教堂在内的许多城市教会带来了更大活力。不过，与侧重教内青年婚恋关怀的教会不同，注重联合的B教堂有着更大的愿景。
“现在婚姻家庭不仅是教会内的问题，更是社会性的普遍问题。”在这位青年牧者看来，婚姻家庭的建造若要为更多灵魂带去实际性造就，教会就必须跳出信仰的界限；与社会力量携手，为真理话语的传递打开更大的世界。“所以我们教会的婚恋事工是面向社会公开的，只要是在婚姻预备期以及新婚期的青年人，不管信不信，都可以来参加。”
2022年底，B教堂以“真理中建造家庭”为主题的婚姻成长系列课程被提上事工议程。
在课程设置上，具备婚姻辅导专业资质的老师主要围绕婚恋辅导、关系塑造及心理辅导进行编排；而W教士则主要负责真道根基的把关与融合神学视角，为青年朋友们提供婚姻指导。
“目前课程总共有9大版块41小节，每周六晚上开课。”W教士介绍，课程从“理清观念”“明白引导”“关系建立”“关系发展”“关系结束”“真爱等待”“婚姻评估”“应对恐婚”“再婚处理”9大主题展开。涉及到青年人婚前、热恋、新婚、婚后多方面内容。“每节课程都会有讲员分享和小组互动环节；对于有特别辅导需求的青年朋友我们也设置了个案陪谈，以帮助他们解决实际的问题。”
虽然现阶段的陪谈辅导工作还是主要依靠讲员来进行。但W教士表示，在接下来的一年中，教会将在已婚信徒中呼召建立一个婚姻家庭辅导的团队，以更好地为单身青年提供个性化的婚恋辅导。
“我们到时候会邀请专业讲师对婚姻辅导员们提供为期一年的栽培课程。主要以圣经原则为核心，结合心理学以及婚姻家庭辅导理论进行培训。”他补充道，“第一批计划招募25到30人，截至11月底已经有16位信徒报名学习了。”
现如今，婚姻家庭课程已正式开课数月有余，授课中也遇到了一些诸如圣经与属世价值观的冲突、非信徒领受程度有限的问题。但是在W教士看来，事工所带来的实际果效还是远远大于挫折的。“现在每周参与课程的人数稳中有增，几次课程下来，很多单身学员建立了正确的婚恋家庭观，这也更坚定了我们坚持下去的信心。”他说，“目前我们也是在结合大家的反馈在不断优化课程，但不管怎么样，我们用真道建立家庭的宗旨是不会改变的。”
对于事工未来的发展，W教士希望每个青年信徒家庭都能够在真理上得着建造，在教会中成为稳固基石。另一方面，他更期待婚姻事工能与当地街道社区联合，成为独立于教会的纯公益性事工。
“希望能帮助当地更多适龄青年以及家庭，解决他们婚姻家庭的难处，让我们教会在社会上发挥应有的光盐作用。”
“让真理成为更多青年家庭的基石”——华中某教堂婚姻家庭事工经验谈
This story recounts how a church located in a new first-tier city walked out of its boundary to merge with the bigger society and brought the truth into the families of more young people.
“Presently, the ministry of our church mostly targets the spiritual needs of believers." When asked about the original intention of the church to carry out marriage and family ministry, Pastor W, a young man from Church B in the Xiaoxiang area (the area around the Xiaoxiang River in China, which includes parts of Hunan and Hubei provinces), replied, “Now, no matter if it is in the church or society, marriage and family problems of young people are more apparent. We have always been burdened with this concern, and we thus started the ministry.”
The church is located in the provincial capital city, which has been newly ranked first-tier due to the rise of its cultural tourism sector. The large-scale influx of young people brings not only a youthful atmosphere to the city but also more vitality to many local churches, including Church B. However, unlike churches that only focus on the marriage counseling of young and believing members, Church B, which focuses on unity, has a bigger vision.
“Now marriage and family are not only a problem in the church but also a common social problem.” In the young pastor’s view, if the ministry of marriage and family is to bring practical training to more souls, the church must walk out of its institutional boundaries to join hands with the bigger society and open a wider channel for the dissemination of words of the truth. “Therefore, the ministry of marriage and love in our church is open to the public. It does not matter whether the young people are believers or not; as long as they are preparing for their marriage and on their honeymoon, they can come and participate in the counseling.”
At the end of 2022, a series of marriage growth courses was put on Church B’s agenda, and they were entitled “Building a Family in Truth.”
In the curriculum, instructors with professional qualifications in marriage counseling mainly focus on marriage counseling, relationship shaping, and psychological counseling. Pastor W mainly checks the foundation of the truth and integrates theological perspectives to provide marriage guidance for young friends.
“At present, the course has a total of nine themes containing 41 modules, which start every Saturday night.” Pastor W introduced that the course focuses on nine themes: clarifying concepts, understanding instructions, establishing relationships, developing relationships, ending relationships, awaiting true love, evaluating marriage, coping with the fear of marriage, and handling remarriage. It involves many aspects that young people will experience, from affairs of pre-marriage, love, and newlyweds to post-marriage. “There will be speaker sharing and group interaction in each class; for young friends with special counseling needs, we have also prepared case talks to help them solve practical problems.”
Although at present, the accompanying talk and counseling work mainly depends on the speakers, Pastor W said that in the next year, the church will call for the establishment of a marriage and family counseling team among married believers to better provide personalized marriage and relationship counseling for single young people.
“We will invite professional lecturers to provide a one-year training course for marriage counselors. It is mainly based on biblical principles, combined with psychology and marriage and family counseling theory for training.” He added, “The first batch plans to recruit 25 to 30 trainees, and by the end of November, 16 believers will have signed up to receive the training.”
Currently, the course of marriage and family has been officially launched for more than a few months, and some problems are encountered, such as the conflict between biblical and worldly values and the limited acceptance of non-believers. However, in Pastor W's opinion, the actual benefit that the ministry has brought is much greater than the setback. “Now, the number of people participating in the course every week has increased steadily. After several courses, many single students have established a correct conception of marriage and family, which has strengthened our confidence in persistence.” He said, “Now, we are constantly optimizing the curriculum in combination with everyone’s feedback, but in any case, our purpose of building a family in truth will not change.”
For the future development of the ministry, Pastor W hoped that every young believer’s family could be built on truth and become a solid cornerstone in the church. On the other hand, he expected the marriage ministry to unite with the local communities and become a purely public welfare ministry independent of the church.
“I hope to help more local school-age young people and families, solve their difficulties in marriage and family, and let our church play its due role in society.”
- Translated by Charlie Li
'Let Truth Be the Foundation of More Young Families'— Marriage Ministry in a Central China Church
