In today's world, it is becoming increasingly difficult to get married. This is true in society as well as in the church.
In a recent interview with the Christian Times, a Chinese online Christian newspaper, Brother Wang Zhenhai (pseudonym), a church leader in a city in northern China, shared his advice for single Christians and how his church helps them.
Due to a gender imbalance in society, men often encounter greater difficulties in finding suitable partners compared to women. However, an intriguing reversal occurs within churches, where a surplus of women is commonly observed. As a result, it remains difficult for unmarried young people to start families in most churches. If this problem is not solved, there will be a constant flux of young believers in the church, which will pose a challenge to the pastoral care and overall development of the church.
After serving in the church for many years, Wang said, he has found that some young people come to the church just to find a mate. If they cannot find the right person in one church, they will continue to search in another church until they find a compatible spouse.
Wang divulged that his church is planning some marriage preparation classes, with the intent of helping single believers realign their priorities, ensuring God takes precedence over the quest for a life partner. This initiative is not meant to deter marriage, but rather to facilitate a more efficient and purposeful search for a suitable mate.
The matrimonial unions of Christians who hastily seek marriage without seeking God's divine guidance often culminate in tragic outcomes.
Wang emphasized that a considerable number of contemporary young Christians lack a solid foundation in Scripture and often deviate from the teachings outlined in the Bible.
Consider the subject of marriage, for example. What is God's teaching on marriage? While many believers do not have much of an idea, some believers who do have such knowledge do not really agree with it. As a result, even self-professed Christian adherents may evaluate their fellow brethren based on societal norms.
This phenomenon is particularly prominent among sisters, who frequently establish a plethora of criteria. Standards are certainly necessary, but some believers not only want their partners to meet Christian benchmarks but also demand adherence to societal standards. However, a scant few can meet both sets of standards; indeed, fulfilling even one set can be a formidable task.
So how can such a misconception be corrected? Wang believes it is up to the church to lead unmarried believers back to the righteousness of God through the Word. "This is because we believe that we are powerless without the hand of God. But of course, we must do our part to draw attention to and effectively promote the ministry of marriage counseling for unmarried Christians today," Wang said.
Helping single Christians build Christ-centered families is a great challenge. But Wang believes that solving this problem will be beneficial to the church. When single Christians establish families in alignment with God's will, both they and their households are fortified. The collective strength of families, in turn, bolsters the entire church, rendering it more resilient and potent.
Translated by Joyce Leung
今天这个时代，结婚变得越来越难。社会上如此，教会内依然如此。
近日，北方一城市教会领袖王振海弟兄（化名）和中国一网络基督教报纸基督时报分享了他对于单身基督徒的建议和他的教会是如何帮助他们的。
在社会上往往是男性结婚难，女性结婚相对会比较容易一些，因为男多女少。但在教会里面往往是男少女多。绝大多数教会都存在着单身青年结婚难这个问题。如果不解决这个难题，青年信徒的流动性就会非常大，教会牧养和发展都会受到挑战。
王弟兄说，在他多年的服事生涯中发现，有一些青年人是为了找对象才来到教会的。如果在这所教会没有找到对象，他们就会移动到别的教会去继续找对象，直到找着为止。
王弟兄说，他们正在预备一些婚姻的课程，帮助单身信徒梳理一下，让他们能够首先归回到真理中，而不是把找对象作为优先考虑的事。这样做并不是阻止他们结婚，反而是让他们更快也更好的找到自己的另一半。
基督徒一味的求快，一味的想要更快的进入婚姻，却忘记了上帝在婚姻这件事情上的引导和旨意，最终往往都会以悲剧收场。
王弟兄认为现在的很多年轻人他们在道的方面缺乏，很多方面都没有回归到圣经真理当中。
比如在婚姻方面，上帝的教导是什么？很多人其实是不怎么知道的，或者虽然头脑知道，但是心里却并不真正认同。因此，虽然是有信仰的基督徒，但是还是按照世上的标准来“卡”弟兄姊妹。
尤其是对姊妹来说更是如此，设立了很多的标准，其实标准事需要。但是有的人把世上的一套拿过来，要求对方既要符合世上的标准，然后同时还要符合信仰的标准。很少有人同时满足社会上和教会内这两套标准，能满足其中一套已经不容易了。
所以，如何才能够把这样错误的标准打破？王弟兄认为需要教会借着上帝的道来把单身信徒归正过来。“因为我们知道，如果上帝不动工的话那么我们确实无能为力。当然，我们也必须要尽上我们的本分。在这个时代当中能够看重单身信徒婚姻辅导这个事工，把有效的推它动起来。”王弟兄说。
帮助单身基督徒建立基督化的家庭，在这个时代非常有挑战。但是王弟兄认为解决这个问题也会给教会带来正面影响——建立合神心意的家庭后，他和他的家庭都会变得稳定。而整个教会也会变得稳固，有力量。
牧者谈：基督徒寻找另一半 不能要求同时符合世上标准，信仰标准
In today's world, it is becoming increasingly difficult to get married. This is true in society as well as in the church.
In a recent interview with the Christian Times, a Chinese online Christian newspaper, Brother Wang Zhenhai (pseudonym), a church leader in a city in northern China, shared his advice for single Christians and how his church helps them.
Due to a gender imbalance in society, men often encounter greater difficulties in finding suitable partners compared to women. However, an intriguing reversal occurs within churches, where a surplus of women is commonly observed. As a result, it remains difficult for unmarried young people to start families in most churches. If this problem is not solved, there will be a constant flux of young believers in the church, which will pose a challenge to the pastoral care and overall development of the church.
After serving in the church for many years, Wang said, he has found that some young people come to the church just to find a mate. If they cannot find the right person in one church, they will continue to search in another church until they find a compatible spouse.
Wang divulged that his church is planning some marriage preparation classes, with the intent of helping single believers realign their priorities, ensuring God takes precedence over the quest for a life partner. This initiative is not meant to deter marriage, but rather to facilitate a more efficient and purposeful search for a suitable mate.
The matrimonial unions of Christians who hastily seek marriage without seeking God's divine guidance often culminate in tragic outcomes.
Wang emphasized that a considerable number of contemporary young Christians lack a solid foundation in Scripture and often deviate from the teachings outlined in the Bible.
Consider the subject of marriage, for example. What is God's teaching on marriage? While many believers do not have much of an idea, some believers who do have such knowledge do not really agree with it. As a result, even self-professed Christian adherents may evaluate their fellow brethren based on societal norms.
This phenomenon is particularly prominent among sisters, who frequently establish a plethora of criteria. Standards are certainly necessary, but some believers not only want their partners to meet Christian benchmarks but also demand adherence to societal standards. However, a scant few can meet both sets of standards; indeed, fulfilling even one set can be a formidable task.
So how can such a misconception be corrected? Wang believes it is up to the church to lead unmarried believers back to the righteousness of God through the Word. "This is because we believe that we are powerless without the hand of God. But of course, we must do our part to draw attention to and effectively promote the ministry of marriage counseling for unmarried Christians today," Wang said.
Helping single Christians build Christ-centered families is a great challenge. But Wang believes that solving this problem will be beneficial to the church. When single Christians establish families in alignment with God's will, both they and their households are fortified. The collective strength of families, in turn, bolsters the entire church, rendering it more resilient and potent.
Translated by Joyce Leung
Christian Leader on Singles' Marriage: Set the Right Standards
