Editor’s note: This story is about a graceful testimony and worldly struggle of a post-millennial pastor who is also a theological student. His thoughts on the Chinese church systems should be given high attention and serious reflection by the church community.
I believe that his confusion and struggle can represent the thoughts of young pastors. Perhaps, his observation and thoughts are not comprehensive enough, but for the long-term development of the church, his views are at least worthy to be reflected by church leaders.
Below is his testimony in the first person.
I am half Taiwanese because my great-grandfather was from Taiwan Province. I grew up with my grandparents who loved me very much and spoiled me.
I went to church with my grandmother since I was a child. At that time I was a simple child, so when my grandma prayed, I prayed. When Grandma went to the services, I would follow her, for snacks. When I grew up and went to middle school, I had to attend extra classes every Saturday, so I didn’t want to go to church on Sundays. I thought that if I went to church on Sundays, I wouldn’t have time to play. Gradually, I changed from a good boy to a prodigal son. I could be found either in pubs or internet cafes. Truancy was my common practice.
Later, I saw a lower-grade girl at school who was very beautiful, and I liked her much. I became possessive and forbade others to approach her. One day, I borrowed a knife from my buddy and hid it in my schoolbag, attempting to cut my rival in love. Coincidentally, my father saw it. He took me home and stopped sending me to school. My tiger mother left her job and began to accompany me.
Just then, a very important person in my life - my Sunday school teacher came. He encouraged me and persuaded my parents to believe in Jesus if they wanted me to be good. Like that, my whole family believed in the Lord Jesus nine years ago. My parents went to church at four o’clock every morning to pray for me, and they made a wish for me, “Jesus, if you can make my son a good boy, we are willing to offer him to you”. Then, my mother sent me to a Bible school.
I did not receive calling so I was passive, and I felt boring to chant “Jesus, Jesus” every day. However, one day in a class, I heard that Jesus was sinless, but he died on a cross to bear our sins. He did it for you and for me. So I confessed my sin, repented, wept, and prayed for a long time. I didn’t expect that on that day I was born again.
From then on, my parents didn’t have to look for me all night. After my mother believed in the Lord, she gained 30 pounds (culturally a sign of health in China, translator’s note). I still remember my parents once said to me “your parents on the earth can’t discipline you well, but your father in heaven can.” I went back to school.
Once on a Teacher’s Day, I said to my teacher, “Happy Teacher’s Day!” My teacher thought I was going to beat her because I used to cover her head with a sack bag and beat her with my classmates. She said, “A naughty person like you can believe in Jesus and be nice. Call those naughty people to believe in Jesus then.” I thought that made sense.
I could change, not by myself, but by the power of Jesus’ resurrection from the dead. I desired to study hard for Jesus and then be of use to him. However, as the Gospel of Luke says that nine out of the ten lepers that were cured forgot the grace of the Lord, a few years later, I went to college to study business administration and then worked in Shanghai.
During that period of time, my mother called me every day with tears, “You belong to Jesus. You should be humble and obedient.” I was a little confused. I was so good, diligent, self-reliant, and didn’t want to depend on my parents. There was nothing wrong with me working here. To be of use to Jesus, earning two or three thousand yuan a month—could that be enough to take care of my future wife and children?
One day, I fell asleep and heard a voice in my dream: “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and what you need will be given to you.”
Once, I attended the funeral of a relative who was only in his fifties and had a fortune of hundreds of millions yuan but died of liver cancer. My mother said to me, “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” So I determined to offer myself again and wished to offer myself once and forever.
Now, I’m in the second year of the Master of Divinity program. I never thought I would study theology and be a pastor, but God has had mercy on me and shown me a favor.
As a post-millennial, I wish more young people can arise in the church and the church system in China can be optimized! Born in 1996, I attended a Bible school in 2010. In 2012, I delivered a sermon for the first time in my life. I would like to ask why churches in Jiangsu and Zhejiang province could cost millions or even tens of millions of yuan to builD church buildings but never wanted to change the church system? When I was called to be a servant of God, I had ‘ten-thousand’ worries. I was worried that I would depend on my parents all my life.
When I said to my mother with tears, “Mom, I don’t want to serve Jesus, because it will make you and Dad work too hard.” my mother replied, “I'd rather eat pickles while you serve the Lord than you make money to buy ginseng (an expensive food item, translator’s note) for me.” (These are the words of a mother who just became a believer. People who offer themselves to God need their families’ support.) I wonder what the readers might think.
I hear that some churches only give young pastors a few hundred yuan a month. How do you expect pastors to support their parents with such a low salary? Those who work should have their due wages. They shouldn’t be paid too much otherwise more people won’t study theology out of a calling but for money. Yet, the pay can’t be too low either. So what pay is reasonable? I think it depends on the local consumption level.
Church ministry is serving, and family ministry is serving too. The two should be balanced. If people don’t know how to manage their own homes, how can they take care of God’s church? Therefore, the church must give the pastor time to accompany his wife. God not only wants pastors to minister well and be good servants but also wants them to be good husbands and fathers. Many pastors may say, “Son, I know all these, but I don’t even have time to rest”. Resting is not only about spiritually coming into the presence of the Lord Jesus. Resting also includes physically sleeping.
God is wonderful. Sometimes, He would allow miracles to happen to us, like crows feeding Elijah. To quote Hudson Taylor, doing God’s work in God’s way will definitely not lack God’s supply.
(To protect the author’s privacy, this article is signed under a pseudonym. It is reproduced from “Xiao San Za”, a personal official WeChat account.)
- Translated by Charlie Li
编者按：这是一个95后传道人、神学生的蒙恩见证与尘世挣扎，他对中国教会制度的思考也应该引起教会的高度关注和思考。
我相信，他的困惑和挣扎在年轻传道人群体中具有很强的代表性。或许，他的观察和思考还不周全，但从教会的长远发展来看，他的观点至少值得教会领袖们深思。（==此句当summary）
我可以说是半个台湾人，因为我曾祖父是台湾的。我从小跟着爷爷奶奶长大，爷爷奶奶很爱我，也把我宠出了一身毛病。
我从小是跟着奶奶去教会的。小时候也许是因为单纯，奶奶祷告，我也祷告，奶奶去聚会，我也跟着去。但是我是为了吃零食才去教会的。长大了一些，上初中的时候，每星期六要补课，星期天教会聚会我就不想去了，觉得星期天再去教会，我玩的时间不就没了嘛！就这样，慢慢的，我从乖乖孩变成了浪子，人不是在酒吧，就是在网吧，旷课、逃课成了家常便饭。
后来，在学校看到一个学妹很漂亮，就很喜欢。我就生了占有欲，不准别人喜欢她。有一天，我向哥们儿借了一把刀，藏在书包里，想把情敌砍了。刚好被我父亲看到，他就把我带回家，不让我去读书了。这下子，我的女强人母亲终于愿意放下工作，来陪伴我了。
就在这时候，我人生很重要的一个人物——主日学老师来了。他劝勉我，也劝我父母亲，要为儿子好的话，就信耶稣。就这样，全家人９年前就信了主耶稣。他们每天凌晨4点多去教会为我代祷，还把我许愿了，说，“耶稣啊，你要能把我儿子变乖了，他就为你所用”。就这样，我被母亲送进了圣经培训班。
那时候又没什么呼召，很被动地去，每天念“耶稣耶稣”的就觉得很烦。但有一天上课，听到说耶稣本来是无罪的，却为了担当有罪的我们的罪死在十字架上了。祂是为了你，为了我啊，我就认罪悔改，祷告，痛哭流泪，祷告了很久。没想到那天我就重生了。
就这样，父母不用通宵到处去找我了。我母亲信主后，还胖了３０斤，我父母亲说了一句话，我到现在一直记得，他们说：“地上的父母亲管不住你，天上的阿爸父会管你”。我就回学校读书去了。
那天是教师节，我对老师说：“教师节快乐！”老师还以为我是去打她的，因为我以前跟同学一起用麻袋把她套住打过。她说:“像你这样不乖的人，也能信耶稣变乖，那把不乖的人也叫去信耶稣啊。”我觉得蛮有道理的。
我能改变，不是靠我自己，而是靠耶稣死里复活的大能，我要为耶稣好好读书，然后为祂所用。但读着读着，就像《路加福音》里说的那样，10个大麻风病人，９个被医好了，就忘记主的恩典了。几年后上大学，读的是工商管理。然后，在上海工作。
我母亲每天哭哭啼啼地打电话跟我说：“你是属耶稣的人，你要谦卑顺服。”“我有点不明白，我现在这么乖地在工作，自力更生，不想做个啃老族，我这样做没有错啊；为耶稣使用，一个月两三千块收入，以后拿什么养老婆孩子啊？
后来有一天，我睡着了，听到一句话：“你要先求神的国、神的义，你所需用的，神必会加给你。”
有一次，我参加一个亲戚的葬礼，这个亲戚才50多岁，家产上亿，但是肝癌晚期去世了。我母亲就跟我说：“人若赚得全世界，赔上自己的生命，有什么益处呢？”就这样，我愿重新摆上，希望我可以一次献上永远献上。
我目前是道硕二年级学生，我从未想过读神学、当传道人，但是神却怜悯、抬举了我。
身为95后的我，多么盼望教会兴起更多的年轻人，多希望中国教会制度可以更完善。我1996年出生，2010年读圣经培训班，2012年开始了人生第一次讲道，我想问为什么江浙一代教会建造了耗资上百万甚至上千万的教堂，却不曾想在教会体制方面改变？当我被呼召要做上帝仆人的时候，我有一万个担心，我担心我要啃一辈子父母。
当我哭着对妈妈说：“妈，我不要为耶稣用，因为这样会害得你和爸爸太辛苦了。”我妈说：“我宁愿吃咸菜也不要你赚钱买人参给我吃。”（这是一个刚信主不久的母亲说出来的话，每一个人的摆上都离不开他家人的支持啊）不知大家心里怎么想？
我听说，有的教会每个月才给年轻传道人几百块钱，这样做，你让传道人怎么孝敬父母？做工的当有当得的工价，不要给得太高，免得有更多人不是为了呼召而是为了玛门读神学；但也不能太低啊。应该怎么做才合理呢？我认为要看当地消费水平。
教会的服侍是服侍，家庭的服侍也是服侍，两者应当平衡。人若不知道管理好自己的家，焉能照管好神的教会呢？因此，教会一定要给传道人陪老婆的时间。上帝不仅仅要牧师好好传道，做一个好牧师，更要你做好丈夫、好爸爸。许多牧师可能会说：“孩子，这些我都懂，但是我连休息的时间都没有”。休息不仅仅是灵里到主耶稣面前，也包括睡眠。
上帝很奇妙，有时候也会让乌鸦喂养以利亚这样事情发生在我们身上。用戴德生的话说，用上帝的方式做上帝的工作，断然不会缺少上帝的供应。
（为保护作者，本文署名为化名）（本文转载自"萧三匝“个人微信公众号）
故事| 一个95后传道人的蒙恩见证与尘世挣扎
Editor’s note: This story is about a graceful testimony and worldly struggle of a post-millennial pastor who is also a theological student. His thoughts on the Chinese church systems should be given high attention and serious reflection by the church community.
I believe that his confusion and struggle can represent the thoughts of young pastors. Perhaps, his observation and thoughts are not comprehensive enough, but for the long-term development of the church, his views are at least worthy to be reflected by church leaders.
Below is his testimony in the first person.
I am half Taiwanese because my great-grandfather was from Taiwan Province. I grew up with my grandparents who loved me very much and spoiled me.
I went to church with my grandmother since I was a child. At that time I was a simple child, so when my grandma prayed, I prayed. When Grandma went to the services, I would follow her, for snacks. When I grew up and went to middle school, I had to attend extra classes every Saturday, so I didn’t want to go to church on Sundays. I thought that if I went to church on Sundays, I wouldn’t have time to play. Gradually, I changed from a good boy to a prodigal son. I could be found either in pubs or internet cafes. Truancy was my common practice.
Later, I saw a lower-grade girl at school who was very beautiful, and I liked her much. I became possessive and forbade others to approach her. One day, I borrowed a knife from my buddy and hid it in my schoolbag, attempting to cut my rival in love. Coincidentally, my father saw it. He took me home and stopped sending me to school. My tiger mother left her job and began to accompany me.
Just then, a very important person in my life - my Sunday school teacher came. He encouraged me and persuaded my parents to believe in Jesus if they wanted me to be good. Like that, my whole family believed in the Lord Jesus nine years ago. My parents went to church at four o’clock every morning to pray for me, and they made a wish for me, “Jesus, if you can make my son a good boy, we are willing to offer him to you”. Then, my mother sent me to a Bible school.
I did not receive calling so I was passive, and I felt boring to chant “Jesus, Jesus” every day. However, one day in a class, I heard that Jesus was sinless, but he died on a cross to bear our sins. He did it for you and for me. So I confessed my sin, repented, wept, and prayed for a long time. I didn’t expect that on that day I was born again.
From then on, my parents didn’t have to look for me all night. After my mother believed in the Lord, she gained 30 pounds (culturally a sign of health in China, translator’s note). I still remember my parents once said to me “your parents on the earth can’t discipline you well, but your father in heaven can.” I went back to school.
Once on a Teacher’s Day, I said to my teacher, “Happy Teacher’s Day!” My teacher thought I was going to beat her because I used to cover her head with a sack bag and beat her with my classmates. She said, “A naughty person like you can believe in Jesus and be nice. Call those naughty people to believe in Jesus then.” I thought that made sense.
I could change, not by myself, but by the power of Jesus’ resurrection from the dead. I desired to study hard for Jesus and then be of use to him. However, as the Gospel of Luke says that nine out of the ten lepers that were cured forgot the grace of the Lord, a few years later, I went to college to study business administration and then worked in Shanghai.
During that period of time, my mother called me every day with tears, “You belong to Jesus. You should be humble and obedient.” I was a little confused. I was so good, diligent, self-reliant, and didn’t want to depend on my parents. There was nothing wrong with me working here. To be of use to Jesus, earning two or three thousand yuan a month—could that be enough to take care of my future wife and children?
One day, I fell asleep and heard a voice in my dream: “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and what you need will be given to you.”
Once, I attended the funeral of a relative who was only in his fifties and had a fortune of hundreds of millions yuan but died of liver cancer. My mother said to me, “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” So I determined to offer myself again and wished to offer myself once and forever.
Now, I’m in the second year of the Master of Divinity program. I never thought I would study theology and be a pastor, but God has had mercy on me and shown me a favor.
As a post-millennial, I wish more young people can arise in the church and the church system in China can be optimized! Born in 1996, I attended a Bible school in 2010. In 2012, I delivered a sermon for the first time in my life. I would like to ask why churches in Jiangsu and Zhejiang province could cost millions or even tens of millions of yuan to builD church buildings but never wanted to change the church system? When I was called to be a servant of God, I had ‘ten-thousand’ worries. I was worried that I would depend on my parents all my life.
When I said to my mother with tears, “Mom, I don’t want to serve Jesus, because it will make you and Dad work too hard.” my mother replied, “I'd rather eat pickles while you serve the Lord than you make money to buy ginseng (an expensive food item, translator’s note) for me.” (These are the words of a mother who just became a believer. People who offer themselves to God need their families’ support.) I wonder what the readers might think.
I hear that some churches only give young pastors a few hundred yuan a month. How do you expect pastors to support their parents with such a low salary? Those who work should have their due wages. They shouldn’t be paid too much otherwise more people won’t study theology out of a calling but for money. Yet, the pay can’t be too low either. So what pay is reasonable? I think it depends on the local consumption level.
Church ministry is serving, and family ministry is serving too. The two should be balanced. If people don’t know how to manage their own homes, how can they take care of God’s church? Therefore, the church must give the pastor time to accompany his wife. God not only wants pastors to minister well and be good servants but also wants them to be good husbands and fathers. Many pastors may say, “Son, I know all these, but I don’t even have time to rest”. Resting is not only about spiritually coming into the presence of the Lord Jesus. Resting also includes physically sleeping.
God is wonderful. Sometimes, He would allow miracles to happen to us, like crows feeding Elijah. To quote Hudson Taylor, doing God’s work in God’s way will definitely not lack God’s supply.
(To protect the author’s privacy, this article is signed under a pseudonym. It is reproduced from “Xiao San Za”, a personal official WeChat account.)
- Translated by Charlie Li
Post-millennial Pastor's Graceful Testimony, Also Worldly Struggle
