How do Christian women treat their unbelieving husbands? This is a common problem in many churches where there are more female believers than male ones. As a result, many female faithful marry non-Christians or even men of different faiths.
In fact, it was a problem that the churches also faced in early days. In this regard, the apostle Peter gave this instruction: “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands. So that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1-2)
From Peter's teaching we can see that female believers should obey their husbands even if they have not yet believed in the Lord. This explains at least two things: One is to warn the sisters not to always think of dealing with their unbelieving husbands in opposition to them. This ungodly practice should be stopped immediately and replaced by a prayer for their husbands. Even at times, they should imitate the Lord Jesus by bearing the cross for their husbands.
The other is that a wife must obey her husband, whether he believes in the Lord or not. Why? Because Peter’ teaching applies not only to couples who both believe in the Lord, but also to couples in which only one believes or neither of them believes in the Lord.
Of course, there may be another good result, if a believing woman is willing to obey her unbelieving husband according to the Bible's teaching.
This good result is that an unbelieving husband will be converted to believe in Jesus without words by his wife’s chaste behavior and God-fearing heart. He will be influenced by her good words and deeds, seeing the truth of God.
Of course, we must also know that a wife cannot change her husband or even his spiritual life. No one can play this role, but only God can do. Her good deeds and reverence only have the effect of a witness and influence. Do not hold the illusion that you can change your husband's life, otherwise you will end up with nothing.
Here is an example of one female believer. When she was in love with an unbeliever, she was confident that she could lead him to believe in the Lord or to even serve God together, with her own wisdom and her boyfriend’s love for her. However, the good times did not last long and the freshness was gone. Instead, the daily chores such as firewood, rice, oil and salt, made her husband change his temperament. He was no longer as considerate as before, and he no longer accompanied the sisters to services. The situation became even more serious after the sister gave birth to her child. The first step was not to accompany her to gatherings and services, then later to stop her from attending them. It further worsened when she did not heed to his demands, from obstruction to countless beatings and scolding. So her marriage ended in divorce three years later.
The lesson to be learned from this case is never to think that you can change your husband. The best way of changing him is to lead him to know, believe in and rely on the Lord, not just by word-of-mouth, but also by chastity and reverence.
(The author is a pastor in Jiangsu and the article is published by Gospel Times.)
-Translated by Abigail Wu
姊妹在教会中占多数，弟兄只占少数，可以说这是大多数教会的现状。所以出现一个很现实的问题，那就是很多信主的姊妹有着不信主的丈夫，甚至有着不同信仰的丈夫。姊妹们如何对待不信主的丈夫？
这个问题其实在初期教会就已经面临了。对此，使徒彼得曾教导：“你们作妻子的要顺服自己的丈夫；这样，若有不信从道理的丈夫，他们虽然不听道，也可以因妻子的品行被感化过来；这正是因看见你们有贞洁的品行和敬畏的心。”(彼前3:1-2)
从彼得的教导中可见，即便姊妹们的丈夫还没有信主，那也应当顺服自己的丈夫。这至少在说明两个事情：一是告诫姊妹们在面对不信主的丈夫时，千万不能与之对着干，一心想着怎样去对付他。这种不合神旨意的做法 应该立刻收手，取而代之的应该是为没有信主的丈夫祷告。甚至有时候也要学会效法主耶稣，为未信主的丈夫忍辱负重，背十字架。
另外一个，就是作为妻子的要顺服自己丈夫，不管其信不信主，都要顺服。为什么呢？因为彼得教导的很清楚，妻子对丈夫的顺服，不单是对双方都信主之夫妻的教导，也是对只有一方信主，或双方都没有信主之夫妻的要求。
当然，信主的姊妹若是按照神的教导甘心顺服不信主的丈夫，那也可能会带来另外一个好结果。
这个好结果就是不信主的丈夫，会从中看见妻子贞洁的品行以及敬畏上帝的心。而且，他虽然没有听道，可以被感化过来，以至于愿意信主。这就告诉我们姊妹不仅自己要信好上帝，以好的的言行举止感化自己的丈夫，让其通过自己美好的言行见到上帝的真实
当然也要知道，姊妹在丈夫或家庭面前所展现出来的美好品行、敬畏之心，只是起到了见证以及感化的作用，并不是起到可以改变丈夫、甚至是改变丈夫灵魂生命的作用，这种作用只有上帝能够起到，此外没有任何人可以做得到。千万不要抱着自己可以改变丈夫生命的幻想，持有此种幻想的人，到头来也只会是一场空。
有一位姊妹就是如此。这位姊妹在与未信主之人谈恋爱的时候，由于对自己有充分的自信，以为凭着自己的智慧以及男友对自己的爱慕之情，肯定在不久的将来，就能够带领他信主，甚至两个人一起服侍。
然而，好景不长，新鲜感过了，取而代之的是每天的柴米油盐等琐事，使得这位姊妹的丈夫性情大变，再也不像从前那样体贴，也不再陪同姊妹聚会。更为严重的还在后面，大约在这位姊妹生了孩子之后，情况更加严重，由开始的不再陪同聚会，变成了拦阻姊妹参加聚会以及服侍。面对此种拦阻，姊妹肯定是不从的，所以就变得更为严重，由拦阻变成了无数次的打骂。就这样，这位姊妹的婚姻在三年之后以离婚收场。
通过这位姊妹的事例，也可以告诉人一个道理，那就是千万不要以为自己可以改变丈夫。因此，姊妹若想改变自己的丈夫，那么最好的办法就是带他认识主，相信主，依靠主。但，也不能只是用口传，也要以贞洁的品行和敬畏的心。
注：本文为特约/自由撰稿人文章，作者系江苏一名传道人。
http://www.gospeltimes.cn/article/index/id/56036
面对不信主的丈夫该怎么办？
How do Christian women treat their unbelieving husbands? This is a common problem in many churches where there are more female believers than male ones. As a result, many female faithful marry non-Christians or even men of different faiths.
In fact, it was a problem that the churches also faced in early days. In this regard, the apostle Peter gave this instruction: “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands. So that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1-2)
From Peter's teaching we can see that female believers should obey their husbands even if they have not yet believed in the Lord. This explains at least two things: One is to warn the sisters not to always think of dealing with their unbelieving husbands in opposition to them. This ungodly practice should be stopped immediately and replaced by a prayer for their husbands. Even at times, they should imitate the Lord Jesus by bearing the cross for their husbands.
The other is that a wife must obey her husband, whether he believes in the Lord or not. Why? Because Peter’ teaching applies not only to couples who both believe in the Lord, but also to couples in which only one believes or neither of them believes in the Lord.
Of course, there may be another good result, if a believing woman is willing to obey her unbelieving husband according to the Bible's teaching.
This good result is that an unbelieving husband will be converted to believe in Jesus without words by his wife’s chaste behavior and God-fearing heart. He will be influenced by her good words and deeds, seeing the truth of God.
Of course, we must also know that a wife cannot change her husband or even his spiritual life. No one can play this role, but only God can do. Her good deeds and reverence only have the effect of a witness and influence. Do not hold the illusion that you can change your husband's life, otherwise you will end up with nothing.
Here is an example of one female believer. When she was in love with an unbeliever, she was confident that she could lead him to believe in the Lord or to even serve God together, with her own wisdom and her boyfriend’s love for her. However, the good times did not last long and the freshness was gone. Instead, the daily chores such as firewood, rice, oil and salt, made her husband change his temperament. He was no longer as considerate as before, and he no longer accompanied the sisters to services. The situation became even more serious after the sister gave birth to her child. The first step was not to accompany her to gatherings and services, then later to stop her from attending them. It further worsened when she did not heed to his demands, from obstruction to countless beatings and scolding. So her marriage ended in divorce three years later.
The lesson to be learned from this case is never to think that you can change your husband. The best way of changing him is to lead him to know, believe in and rely on the Lord, not just by word-of-mouth, but also by chastity and reverence.
(The author is a pastor in Jiangsu and the article is published by Gospel Times.)
-Translated by Abigail Wu
How Do Christian Women Treat Non-Christian Husbands？
